Kiss Me Not (Kiss Me 1)
I wrinkled my face up in disgust. This was the thing I’d been frustrated about.
ME: They do know there are rules, don’t they? It’s not a make-out contest.
AVA: Someone tried telling them that, but they didn’t listen. I think they all have hair appointments on Monday.
AVA: Some of them might even be getting their nails done.
ME: It’s a kissing booth, not a dating show.
AVA: Tell them that. They all think it’s a chance to convince Preston he’s madly in love with them.
ME: Does nobody here have anything better to do with their lives?
AVA: No.
AVA: It’s not like there are a bunch of options in this town. Preston is young, hot af, and loaded. He’s a prime catch.
ME: He’s also insanely annoying, cocky, and a pain in the ass.
AVA: That’s just how you feel about him.
ME: My feelings are usually right.
AVA: In your opinion.
ME: My opinions are usually right.
AVA: How are your raccoons?
ME: Presumably eating the sandwiches I left for them.
AVA: And you still think you’re a good judge of character?
ME: I’m an excellent judge of character. They don’t rummage through my trash anymore, do they? I’m a genius.
AVA: You have issues.
ME: Given that I run the library, I have lots of issues. Mostly of books.
REAGAN: What the fuck are you two talking about?
It was always nice when she popped into the group chat without reading the messages before.
ME: How many girls are going to suck face with your brother and seduce him in the next week.
REAGAN: I already bet that you’d lose, Hals.
AVA: SHE ISN’T GOING TO LOSE, REAGAN, YOU FAITHLESS BITCH.
REAGAN: Look, I’m usually all for Halley winning, but against my brother? Come on. Every single 20-something woman and a few 30-somethings have their eye on him. They’re going to be camping out the night before to kiss him first.
ME: Can we argue this tomorrow? I’m watching Gilmore Girls and I need to judge Rory for all her life choices. It’s hard when y’all are judging me.
AVA: She gets with Dean?
ME: Yeah.
REAGAN: She doesn’t know he’s married.
ME: It doesn’t excuse her behavior in the reboot, Reagan.
REAGAN: This is why you aren’t allowed to watch reboots.
ME: I have strong feelings.
AVA: Yeah, for Preston.
ME: Hey, Ava, how’s Butler?
REAGAN: LOLOLOL
AVA: I don’t know, I haven’t spoken to him tonight. He’s busy.
ME: It’s like talking to a donut.
REAGAN: Don’t insult donuts.
AVA: I know what you’re asking, idiots. I’m choosing not to rise to the bait. I’m not a fish.
ME: Whatever.
AVA: We all know it’s just so you don’t have to address your feelings for Preston.
ME: It’s a crush. That’s all. I can be attracted to an attractive man and still dislike him.
REAGAN: It’s true. But after nine years of a crush, I don’t think you can use that excuse anymore.
ME: It’s way more fun to judge people than it is to be judged.
AVA: We’re not judging you.
REAGAN: I’m totally judging you.
ME: I want new best friends. You should be supporting me through this difficult time.
AVA: …He’s your competition. He didn’t die in unexpected circumstances.
REAGAN: You don’t want new best friends. They couldn’t put up with your shit.
ME: I don’t want to listen to him kissing other people!!!!!!
And there it was. The real admission that I didn’t want to hear it happening. They didn’t really need me to say it, but I know they wanted me to. Just because they were pains in the damn ass.
REAGAN: Of course you don’t want to hear him kissing other women. Especially not the kind of women who’ll be lining up to kiss him.
AVA: I wouldn’t want to hear them, either. I hate the sound of people kissing. All those slurpy little tongue-slapping sounds aren’t my jam.
ME: Yeah, but you listen to classical music for fun. Not to relax, but for fun.
AVA: We aren’t all punk-rock heathens.
ME: I haven’t listened to punk-rock since I was sixteen.
REAGAN: You’re boring me now. I’m going to take a shower. Bye.
AVA: She’s… special.
ME: We’re all special, Ava. That’s why we’re friends. That’s how this works.
AVA: I want new friends.
ME: Nobody wants us. I just said that.
AVA: Right. Well, I’ll put out some feelers online, just in case.
ME: You do that, babe.
AVA: So… Brunch tomorrow?
ME: See you at Dana’s at ten.
CHAPTER SIX – HALLEY
Funfairs Aren’t Always Fun
The booth was done.
It felt surreal. I couldn’t believe that the fair was finally opening tonight and that the booth was ready to go.
Mostly because I hadn’t seen Preston for almost two days. Ever since he’d gotten done with the sign and helping me put out the posts, he’d disappeared, and I hadn’t heard from him at all.
I was torn. On the one hand, I was happy about that. The less time I had to spend with him, the better. It was going to be a rough week as it was, and Sunday was a dreadful day to start a summer fair.