Forever Mine (Joe & Ella 2)

“Hi Max, u okay?”

“No …There’s been an accident Ella.” My h

eart stopped beating and I went cold.

“Oh God no…What happened Max, please…tell me.”

“They found Joe’s car a few hours ago, he’d driven straight into a wall not far from the club in the early hours of this morning. I don’t really know much more but they cut him out of the car and brought him to the hospital. I’m here now waiting for news and I thought you’d want to know.”

I started breathing fast, my eyes swimming and my head dizzy. I couldn’t speak. Robyn saw my reaction and took the phone out of my hands to talk to Max. I could hear their voices but I couldn’t focus. My mind started to play a slide show of the awful things that could have happened to Joe over and over again. Then the unspeakable reality that he may not survive drowned me in a tidal wave of sorrow. I had to get to him. I felt frantic.

I raced across the living room to grab my car keys from the side table then I headed down the path and into my car. I don’t even remember the car journey, but next thing I know I’m parked up at the hospital and staring at the entrance, scared to find out what happens next. I took a deep breath in for courage and opened the door. One foot in front of the other was all I could manage, I had to get myself into the building and find out if I’d lost him. I hiccupped on the thought that I may never see him again, never hold him. I just couldn’t bear the thought of losing him forever, not like this.

I walked over to the desk and gave the young receptionist Joe’s name, as my whole body shook with fear. She explained that he was still being assessed in the emergency room but that I could wait in the family room down the hall. She directed me to the family waiting area and I walked down the corridor like a zombie, even breathing in and out felt painful right now. As I came towards the family room, the door was open and I saw Max sitting right opposite the doorway that I stood in. He looked up at me in surprise, saying my name but I couldn’t focus on him. My only focus was on the petite brunette he was sitting next to. She was inconsolable sobbing her eyes out and he was holding her hand. Stupid, stupid Ella. Did you think Joe was still pinning for you? Of course he’d moved on and here she was sitting where I should have been, breaking her heart just like I was. It hit me like a ten tonne truck, Joe wasn’t mine to lose anymore, I didn’t belong here.

I turned round and ran down the corridor as fast as I could and out to my car. I wanted to drive away and never come back to my life ever again. I didn’t want to be Ella Reid loser in love. I felt overwhelming pain in my chest, jealousy that drowned me, and I was insane with worry, I didn’t know what to do with myself. So I did the only thing I could think of, I drove to the common where the bluebells were now in full bloom and the trees swayed gently as if to ward off the rest of the world and keep me safely cocooned within their protective branches, and I broke down. I sobbed in my parked car until my eyes hurt and my tears eventually dried up.

‘You get one life Ella, one chance.’ I thought sadly. I’d blown so many chances and wasted so much time. Sitting in that empty secluded car park I realised how pointless some of my arguments with Joe had been. Arguments that we should have resolved but my stubborn ass wouldn’t let me. I was too pig headed to just let the past go and move forward. Always fixated on things I couldn’t change, things that in the grand scheme of things weren’t important, not really.

I made a vow to myself that day to listen more, be more understanding and try to always look for the good, look to the future. None of us knew when that future would be cruelly ripped away from us, we had to make the most of now.

I had no mobile phone with me, I’d left it in Robyn’s hands as I’d raced out of the house, so I had no way to know what was happening back at the hospital. I didn’t want to know to be honest, and in my grief stricken brain it seemed like a good idea to check into a hotel. Spend one more night oblivious to reality, a night with my own thoughts and protected from the cruelty of life. So that’s what I did. I spent the night in a local hotel, the television on in the background all night to try to distract my over worked brain from picturing the horrors of the day, but failing miserably. If he survived would he be disabled, brain damaged, what would life be like for him now? Was it better if he did die? At last, at around 4am I managed to cry myself into an uneasy, shallow but exhausted sleep.

When I woke up the next day I felt numb, and mentally exhausted. My body went onto automatic pilot and I showered, brushed my teeth and dressed without a second thought. Then I left the room and made my way down to the reception area to check out of oblivion and head back to reality.

When I opened the front door half an hour later and saw Robyn, Chris and Ed sat in the living room I felt wretched. Robyn sprung up from the sofa and launched herself at me crying.

“Ella, where have you been we’ve all been so worried about you.” She sobbed.

“I didn’t want to come home, I couldn’t face it.” I said, silent tears rolling down my cheeks.

“You need to ring Max like now.” She said stepping back and letting Chris come in for a hug.

“He’s been trying to reach you all night. Joe’s gonna be okay Ella. He has some nasty cuts and bruises but he’s okay.”

I nodded absentmindedly not really hearing what they were saying to me. Robyn picked up my mobile and dialled Max’s number then held the phone to my ear for me to speak.

“Ella?” Max answered sounding frantic.

“Hey Max.” I said quietly.

“God Ella, don’t ever do that to us again. I was worried sick something had happened to you. Why did you run away like that yesterday?”

“I didn’t want to…impose.” I didn’t want to sit with Joe’s new girlfriend I thought bitterly, but I couldn’t quite bring myself to admit that.

“You’d never be imposing Ella. He’s okay you know. The police said if he’d been driving any other car he could have lost his legs but his car is built like a tank, and he’s tough our Joe. He looks dreadful at the moment but the wounds and bruises will heal without any lasting damage. I told him you came and he was disappointed that he didn’t get to see or speak to you. Are you gonna visit again Ella?”

“No…I can’t.” I replied.

Max sighed. “Okay but when I told him you came to see him it put a smile on his grumpy ass face. He’s making the doctors’ and nurses’ lives hell right now.”

“I can imagine.” I smiled slightly. I’m sure the new girlfriend is making everything bearable though I thought.

“The police are looking into the causes of the accident but on initial investigation it looks like Joe’s brakes were cut. It’s a criminal investigation Ella, someone did this on purpose.”

“What?”

“Looks like the stalker is stepping up his game. If Joe’s brakes had been cut whilst his car was at the apartment he’d have ploughed into city traffic, he could have killed a lot of people as well as himself. In a crazy way it was lucky it happened at the club, so he only hit a country wall, the traffic at that time in the morning was virtually none existent.”