Fractured Minds (Rebels of Sandland 3)

We got into her car to drive the short distance to our local park. I wasn’t entirely sure how she was going to react to what I had to show her, but I didn’t want to keep it a secret anymore, and the butterflies I had thinking about it were a welcome distraction from the dread that kept trying to drag me down.

I hated how I had to second guess every damn thing. Would she think I was a creeper, or worse yet, some kind of psycho stalker? I tried not to send myself completely insane from overthinking it all. I had enough spiralling emotions and thoughts running through my brain as it was. This was supposed to be a distraction. Something to take my mind off what I was facing tonight and keep me focused on what mattered. Her.

We pulled into the car park and Effy shut off the engine.

“Please don’t freak out when I show you this,” I said, watching for her reaction, but she didn’t seem to be on edge or confused in any way. She looked calm, happy even.

“I won’t freak out. I promise.” She reached over and grabbed my hand, trying to put me at ease.

We got out of the car and I walked round to her, holding her hand and threading my fingers through hers as we picked our way over the stony path that led to the underpass.

“It’s just over here,” I told her as I led her down the small embankment towards my hidden masterpiece.

I half expected her to complain about the state of the place or question why I was bringing her here, but she didn’t. She just squeezed my hand in encouragement and said, “Is this another memory box moment?”

I really hoped it would be. I couldn’t second guess how this was going to go, but I hoped she took it for what it was. Me, showing her how much I had always loved her.

We both stumbled our way to the entrance of the underpass and I led us a few more steps forward until we were standing opposite my graffiti portrait of her face. In the orange glow of the sunset, her painting looked even more magical. The colours of her hair shone and her eyes sparkled back at us as we both stood there open-mouthed. We stayed like that for a few seconds, neither one of us speaking, but when I looked to the side to gauge her reaction, she was looking right at me with tears in her eyes.

“I love this, Finn. And I love that you’ve brought me here to see it.” She was breathless as she spoke, like the wind had truly been knocked out of her at seeing this. “But you know what … most of all… I love you.” A tear fell down her cheek and she sniffed as I reached up to wipe it away. “I feel so… honoured that you’d do this… even more so that you’re showing me.”

“I couldn’t keep it secret anymore. I wanted to show you. I did it months ago, back when stolen glances were all I had to live off. When I felt like life got too much, I used to come down here to be with you.”

Her breath hitched as I spoke.

“Could you be any more perfect?”

“I’m not perfect, Eff. Far from it. There’s a lot about me that you don’t know. Things that I worry will scare you away.”

And every day I live with the fear that you’ll find out and I’ll never see you again.

“Nothing could scare me away, and you are perfect. Perfect for me.”

She wrapped her arms around me and I held her close as we both looked at her picture. My wall for Effy.

“I don’t know how you’re gonna get this one in the memory box.” I laughed. She shook her head as if to say, ‘Watch me,’ and pulled out her mobile phone.

Using both hands to keep her phone steady, she held it up, ready to take a photo, but then she stopped, like she’d forgotten something.

“Wait, I want to do something,” she said, walking over to stand closer to the wall. Then she bent down and picked up a spray can that I must’ve left behind.

“Shit. I didn’t know that was there. I’m usually good at tidying up after myself.” I blushed, feeling embarrassed.

“Maybe it’s fate?” She smiled and shook the can to see if there was anything left inside. “Do you mind if I add my own touch?” She peered over her shoulder at me and I put my arms out to let her know she could have at it.

“Be my guest.”

She stepped back and looked at the portrait then moved to the side so she didn’t spoil it. When she started spraying, I couldn’t help but laugh at the way she scrunched her nose up and held the can like it was a loaded gun. I would’ve given her some pointers, maybe helped her, but I was too mesmerised, frozen in place, watching her spell out the words.

Effy loves Finn.

She drew a heart too before the can gave out, and when she dropped it back on the floor, I went to stand behind her and wrapped my arms around her, burying my head into the crook of her neck.

“Now it’s perfect,” she said, twisting in my grasp and kissing me. “Thank you.”

“Thank you for what?” I asked.

“Thank you for being you. Thank you for loving me.”