Cruel Surrender (Angels Halo MC Next Gen 8)
40
Ciana
Growing up,I’d never once been nervous to face my mother when I’d gotten into trouble for any reason. She’d always been a strict but loving parent, and I’d never feared her reaction to any mistakes I made.
But as I stared at the house that Nova had said would be my new home for however long I felt I needed it, I couldn’t help gulping as I pictured Scarlett Donati inside waiting for me. The mistakes I’d made over the past year weren’t minuscule like those from my childhood and teens. I’d put people I loved in danger, had turned my back on my family, and stupidly stayed with a man I thought loved me.
How could my mother ever forgive me for any of those things?
Wiping my sweat-dampened hands on my pants, I glanced down to make sure Alessia was still sound asleep against my chest before climbing the few steps to the front porch. It was a surprisingly mild day for Russia in January, but we were all still bundled up. The house was in the middle of nowhere, surrounded on either side by dense forests and mountains. Someone would have to know this place already existed with its exact coordinates, or they would never find it.
As I got to the top step, the front door opened, and all I saw was a whirl of red hair before I was being wrapped in the world’s best hug. Tears filled my eyes as I hugged Mama back, breathing in the soothingly familiar scent of her shampoo and the light fragrance of her perfume.
“My baby,” she cried in Italian as she stepped back just enough to run her hands over my hair, my face, the top half of my body. Her brown eyes, so like my own, taking in everything about my appearance. “Ciana, are you hurt?”
Swallowing the lump in my throat, I shook my head. “No, Mama. I’m fine.”
She released a heavy, pent-up breath. “Thank God,” she whispered. Then Alessia made a snuffling noise against my chest. As tiny as she still was, she always woke up hungry.
Mama gasped, her hand covering her mouth as she looked down at her granddaughter for the first time.
“Mama, this is Alessia.”
“She’s beautiful,” she whispered. A tear spilled over her lashes as she touched Alessia’s back.
My youngest daughter’s eyes finally opened, and she smiled up at me, as she always did, before realizing we weren’t alone. She turned her head, her eyes narrowing much like her father’s did when he was assessing any unknown situation. God, she looked and acted so much like Bain, it melted my heart even as it lay broken in my chest.
Behind me, Nova and Anya were waiting patiently, each of them carrying one of the other two babies. Noticing them, Mama ran down the steps. Kella, who tended to be the more adventurous of the three, saw her and let out a squeal. Laughing, her grandmother took her from Nova’s arms.
“Hello, precious girl. I’m your nonna,” she murmured, kissing Kella’s hand when she touched Mama’s face. “What is your name?”
“That is Kella,” I introduced. “And Tetka has Elda.”
“Hello, Elda,” Mama greeted the other baby, who was watching her with open curiosity from Anya’s arms. “You look just like your mama when she was a baby. I swear, Ciana,” she called over her shoulder, “I have pictures of you that would pass for Elda.”
Alessia began to fuss, wanting her meal, and we took our reunion into the house. It was a two-story house, but it wasn’t very big, more like a cabin than anything. An open living room and kitchen combo took up the entire downstairs, while upstairs was just two small bedrooms and a single bathroom. It was well heated, though, so that was all that mattered.
By the time Papa arrived, Anya and Nova were already on their way home. I wasn’t nearly as nervous to see him as I’d been to see Mama. Not two seconds after he walked through the front door, I was being wrapped in one of his bear hugs. No sooner were my feet on the floor than he was falling in love with all three of his granddaughters, just as Mama had.
With the craziness of getting to the cabin, I hadn’t had much time to think about what Bain might be doing. Now that things had calmed down, and the girls were being smothered in love by their grandparents, all I could do was think about my husband.
There was no way he didn’t know I was gone at this point. Someone would have alerted him to what had happened and that the girls and I were gone. He probably wouldn’t have cared about my absence, but he wouldn’t rest until his daughters were back with him.
Papa was rocking Kella by the fire, and the other two babies were sound asleep in their bassinets nearby. Needing some air, I grabbed my coat and went to sit on the porch. The temperature was noticeably colder now, and I could smell the crispness of snow in the distance. Wrapping my arms around myself, I sat on the top step and looked up at the cloud-covered moon, wondering what Bain was doing right then.
How pathetic was it that I missed him? The man had left me to go to his mistress, and I found myself wishing he were there beside me, enjoying the beauty of the Russian wilderness, the peacefulness of the quiet, our girls safely in the arms of their grandfather, and my mother cooking pancakes for dinner.
It had been two days since Anya and Nova had left, and during that entire time, I’d been expecting one or both to call and say that Bain had torn the compound apart in search of the girls. That I hadn’t gotten that call made me wonder if he was so lost in Cori that he’d given up his babies as well as me. Ridiculously enough, it pissed me off that he hadn’t gone off the rails.
Fuck, did we really mean nothing to him now? Was he relieved that he no longer had us to worry about?
A tear spilled free without permission, and I curled into myself, wanting to hide from the pain in my heart.
The sound of heavy-duty, four-wheel-drive vehicles in the distance caught my attention just as the front door opened behind me. Mama stepped out, her phone to her ear. “Fine, Anya. If you think this is best. Yes, I hear them in the distance now. No, no. The girls are all asleep. So is Ciro.” When I looked up at her, she had a small smile on her face. “Yes, I took pictures. He had a little drool on his mouth as he held Kella while they both slept in that rocking chair.”
A smile teased at my own lips at the mental picture that filled my head. And then the rest of what Mama said made sense. The vehicles in the distance. Tetka was coming back? It had only been two days.
“Is something wrong?” I asked Mama as she hung up.
Sighing, she sat down beside me on the top step. “Let’s just trust Anya on this, okay?”
I didn’t like how cryptic that answer was, but I trusted her and Tetka with not only my life, but those of my babies.
Mama took one of my hands in hers, rubbing my fingers to warm them. I leaned my head against her shoulder. I’d missed her so damn much.
When the two SUVs pulled up in front of the house, the huge snowflakes had started to fall. Smiling, I caught one in my free hand and watched as it melted while the driver of the first SUV got out and opened the back door.