Forever Lucy (Lucy & Harris 5)

Her head snapped around, her eyes wide and uneasy. “Wh-what did you hear?”

“I don’t fuckin

g know. I’m still trying to process it all.” I took her hands, realized they were ice-cold, and pulled her down onto the couch with me. I pushed her hands underneath my shirt, pressing her palms right over my heart to warm them. Holding them there with one hand, I used the other to tip her chin up so our gazes met. “Listen to me. Open your ears and your eyes, Lu. I don’t want to have to repeat what I’m about to say—but if you ever need me to, I will.”

“I’m sorry,” she whispered, her eyes closing to block me out.

“I don’t want to hear that. You have nothing to feel sorry about. Now, just look at me, and listen to me.” After a small hesitation, she finally opened her beautiful brown eyes. Tears glazed them, making them brighter, but she didn’t let a single one spill free. “Whatever you have to tell me, no matter what or who it’s about, you are my first priority. Not the moms or the wedding, or whatever the fuck else you might think I won’t understand, or whatever other shit is going on right now. You are all that matters. You will always be the only one who matters. The entire world can go to hell for all I care, because as long as you love me, nothing else fucking matters.”

“But, Harris,” she tried to appeal with a whisper, but I cut her off with a hard kiss to her lips.

“Nothing. No one. Only you.” I lifted my head, the look in my eyes willing her to understand. To trust me. “Only ever you, sweetness.”

She sucked in a shaky breath. “I’m not happy.”

There weren’t very many words that scared me, but hearing those three from her delicious lips after everything I’d heard back at Lana’s terrified me. It was my job in life to make her happy. To make sure she had more reasons to smile than to cry. To protect her happiness at all costs. And I hadn’t fucking been doing that. I swallowed my fear, though. Inside, I was a quaking mess, but outside, I didn’t let her see just how close to begging her not to leave me I really was. “What aren’t you happy about, Lu?”

She nibbled her lip again, and I could see her struggling with where to start. That she needed to take the time to find the beginning point killed me. How had I not seen this coming?

“This wedding isn’t what I want.”

“You…don’t want to marry me?” My voice cracked, and I struggled to keep my fear leashed.

Her eyes widened at my question, and instantly, she started shaking her head. “No! That’s not what I mean. I want to marry you. I’ve dreamed of marrying you.” She cupped my face in both her hands, a single tear spilling from her eyes. “I want to be your wife, Harris. I want that more than I’ve ever wanted anything in my life.”

Some of the tightness in my throat eased. “Well, thank fuck for that,” I groaned and pressed my forehead against hers. I was shaking so badly I felt like I was going to launch her off the couch, so I held on to her tighter than I ever had before. “I had this vision of you leaving me, Lucy. Don’t do that to me. Whatever is going on, just please don’t leave me.”

“I wouldn’t. I can’t. I need you too much to walk away from you.”

Slowly, the worst of the shaking stopped. I sat back into the corner of the couch and arranged her on my lap. She placed her hand over my heart again, her eyes wet as she prepared herself for the talk that was long overdue.

“Mom and Nat are spending way too much money on our wedding. That monstrous cake isn’t even the tip of the iceberg.”

I brushed a curl back from her face, trying to relax a little after the mini heart attack she had just given me. “Whatever they’re doing that you don’t like, I’ll fix. Tell me what you want, what you don’t want. Whatever, Lucy. I’ll handle it.”

“I don’t want you to take everything on alone. That’s not why I’m telling you this now.” She sighed heavily. “I just want something we can both be happy with. Something that isn’t trying to compete with the damn Kardashians. I want us to work together. Our marriage is going to be a partnership, right?” I nodded emphatically. “Well, I want us to handle the wedding the same way. Together.”

“Then we will,” I promised. “Just tell me what the hell has been going on with the moms. Why aren’t you happy, specifically? Because when Nat calls, which she will, I need to know what to yell at her about.”

Another heavy sigh. “I don’t want you to yell at anyone. Knowing Lana, she did enough of that earlier.”

My eyes narrowed. “Maybe she did. I don’t really care. And don’t think I’m not going to do a little yelling, sweetness. Because Nat should have known better. Fuck, they all should have. Especially the moms.”

She gave me a little pout, but I only sent her an imploring look and waited. Grimacing, she tossed her head back and glared at the ceiling for a long moment. “This is supposed to be our special day. I should be having fun, but I’m not. I’m miserable, babe. I want something a hell of a lot smaller than what Mom and Nat are planning right now. If you hadn’t put your foot down, the guest list would have already exceeded fifteen hundred people. I want a guest list that doesn’t include more than just the most important people in our lives and a cake that won’t easily feed an entire state and cost more than my damn wedding dress. I want to wake up in the mornings and not dread the sound of my phone going off. I want this to be our wedding, not theirs. Because there have been times when I thought Nat and Mom were planning their own weddings instead of ours. The reception is more like some circus show with them wanting to release birds and bubbles and butterflies. It’s costing our dads millions of dollars. I love you so much, and I know you love me, but why do we have to spend all that money to prove it?”

“I didn’t know they were spending that kind of money on everything,” I muttered. “We can pay for everything. Don’t worry about that. We can afford our own wedding. And if we’re footing the bill, then they don’t get to say a goddamn word about any aspect of it.”

“I would really like that.” She sounded more than a little relieved about it. “Mom was getting ridiculous with everything. She wanted to hire an entire fleet of limos to take guests from the church to the reception.”

“Why not just use buses?”

“That’s what I said!” she said with a weak little laugh. We smiled at each other for a long moment before sadness filled her face and tears leaked from her eyes. “But more than anything, I-I want my mom to care again.”

“Of course she cares about you.” After everything I’d heard, as pissed as I’d been with Layla, I still knew she loved her daughter. “Why do you think she doesn’t?”

“She doesn’t talk to me anymore,” she whispered in a choked voice. “She talks at me, and the only things she does say are about the wedding. It’s like I’m not important enough for her to stop for five seconds and ask how I’m feeling.”

A sob shook her shoulders, and I tucked her head under my chin. “I’m sorry, sweetness. I had no idea what was going on with you and Layla.”