Quinn (The Beck Brothers 3)

The kiss was urgent and messy. Shea’s goatee scraped Christian’s skin and he loved every minute of it, never wanting it to end; but of course, it had to. Shea pulled back only enough to press their foreheads together as they both sucked in much needed air. Christian could feel Shea trembling against him. Yeah, he was just as affected as Christian was.

“Damn.” Shea breathed.

“What was that about?” Christian asked quietly.

“I don’t know,” he said, swallowing hard.

“Was it just the alcohol?” Christian asked.

“I...I don’t know,” Shea murmured.

Christian sighed heavily, his heart shattering into pieces. He gently pushed Shea back. “Well, when you figure it out, I’ll be here,” he said and started to leave the gazebo.

Shea grabbed his arm. “Hold up! What did you want to talk about?”

Christian hung his head for a moment before he glanced back at Shea. “I was going to tell you that I’m in love with you.”

Shea flinched as if Christian just slapped him across the face. “But...but...”

“Yeah, I know, you’re straight. You don’t have to remind me,” Christian muttered and pulled his arm out of Shea’s grasp. “I’m going back inside.”

Christian left Shea standing stunned in the gazebo. He didn’t know what he expected when he first went out there, but that was not it. He now had a taste of Shea, and nothing was ever going to be the same between them. He didn’t think he could go on just being friends with him anymore, it was too painful. Christian’s stomach protested and he ran for the bathroom. He locked himself in a stall and puked his ever-loving guts up. Thank god, no one else was around.

Christian pretty much avoided Shea for the remainder of the night. However, when the limo stopped to drop Christian off at home, Shea got out, too. Shea followed him into his house before shutting the door and locking it behind him.

“Chris, we have to talk about this,” Shea murmured as he followed Christian up the stairs.

“Talk about what? I’m gay, you’re not. I’m in love with you, but the feelings aren’t mutual. There is really nothing else to talk about,” Christian muttered, dragging a hand through his hair as he walked into his room.

“What about our friendship?” Shea demanded.

Christian sighed and dropped down to sit on the end of his bed. “I don’t know what to do about that, Shea. All I know is that I can’t go on like this anymore, it hurts too much.”

Christian glanced up at Shea where he was standing just inside the door, the look of pure agony on his face. “You...I...we can’t just throw away decades of friendship over a kiss,” he whispered.

“Shea, this isn’t about the kiss. This is about me looking at you every day, knowing that we will never be anything more than friends. I don’t know how I fell in love with you, but I did, and it hurts so fucking badly to look at you and know that you will never feel the same way about me,” Christian said hoarsely. He was practically sober again, throwing up definitely had a part in that.

“So you’re saying that the only way to keep you in my life is to be in a relationship with you?” Shea asked, taking a step forward.

Christian frowned as he thought about it. “I guess, I don’t see any other way,” he answered, shaking his head.

Shea got scary quiet, deep in thought. He took a deep breath and said the one thing that Christian NEVER expected to hear. “Then let’s do it. If that is the only way that you want me in your life, then I’m going to take it. You are the only family I have, and I can’t lose you, Christian. So, if you want me to be your boyfriend, then that’s what I’m going to be,” he said firmly.

Christian sputtered and blinked rapidly. What the fuck was going on here? “Excuse me?”

“I’m game, Chris. If it’s a relationship that you want, then it’s a relationship you’re gonna get,” Shea said seriously.

Christian eyed him warily. “Sex?”

“Sex included,” Shea agreed.

“But...I don’t understand. Why would you do this? You’re not attracted to me like that.” Christian scoffed. “You can’t just wake up one day and decide to be gay.”

“Did I not tell you once that you were the only guy I have ever found attractive?” Shea reminded him.

“I thought you were fucking with me!”

“Well, I wasn’t.” Shea shrugged.

“Listen, Shea, if you are serious about this, there will be no more women for you. I don’t share,” Christian said.

“I don’t want any women if it means not having you. I do love you, you know.”

“But you’re not in love with me,” Christian said with a pointed look.

“I don’t think it would be hard to fall in love with you, Christian,” Shea murmured softly, taking another step forward, which put him right in front of him.