Little Moments (Second Chances 2)
“Mom, why are you picking me up so early?”
She hugs me and says, “You’re father’s not doing so well Roman and…I think you should talk to him.”
Her eyes well up as tears threaten to spill, and all I can do is nod.
The sprint home is silent but frantic. She holds my hand so tight it hurts, but I don’t want to say anything. I’m scared, afraid of seeing my father the way he is, afraid for my mom, and scared for the unknown that
waits at home.
A few minutes later, we enter the apartment, and the nurse tells my mom that he doesn’t have much time left. A loud gasp escapes her mouth as her hand tightens around mine again. She turns to make her way to the bedroom, but I stand still.
She turns to me. “What’s wrong?”
I shake my head no.
She sighs. “Roman, I know…I know this is hard for you. It’s hard for me too. Don’t you see? I’m about to break in half, but we have to do this.”
I look into her eyes. “I don’t want to say goodbye yet. I’m not ready. I can’t lose my dad.” Tears start to trickle down my face. She pulls me to her chest and rubs my back.
“I know baby, I know. I don’t want to lose him either, but don’t you want to say goodbye? This may be the last time you’ll talk to your father.”
“But why? Why did this happen?”
Her throat clenches. “It’s just a part of life. As screwed up as this is, we have to make the best of it. I know you’re hurting, but imagine your father. What do you think he must be feeling right now? He knows that he will never see you graduate and go to college. He won’t see you get married or have kids. No more father son chats, or going to the park, or camping.”
She forces me to look at her, and I see tears in her eyes. “It is devastating him to leave you. He wants to see you.”
She gives me a warming smile and wipes my tears away. “Do you understand?”
Sniffling, I mumble, “Yes.”
She stands up and takes my hand. “Come, let’s go.”
We continue our stride to the bedroom; she lets go of my hand and slowly opens the door. The room is dim, but it’s still visible. The sun begs to shine through the dark curtains while dust collects on lamps and dressers.
My mother walks over and sits at the edge of the bed. “Tony, honey, Roman is here.” She reaches his head and nudges him awake. My father mumbles as his eyes slowly open. Once he realizes where he is, he smiles and touches her face. His movements are slow and weak. The cancer is taking a toll on him. The nurse was right. Another sob escapes from her, and she rests her head on his chest, letting herself cry out. He wraps his arms around her, and I just watch in silence. I can’t imagine what they must be going through. All I see is them hurting and wanting to hold on tight for as long as they can.
My mother notices me watching, and she ushers me to come closer.
Reaching her hand out, she says softly, “Come sweetie.”
Letting out a deep breath, I walk forward and reach the bed. My father looks up at me and smiles. I don’t even know why he’s smiling. He shouldn’t be; there’s nothing to smile about.
He notices my attitude and looks at Mom, asking with a scratchy voice, “Isa can you please leave us? I want to talk to Roman alone for a few minutes.”
She nods her head, kisses him on the cheek, and leaves the room. Now it’s just us.
“Come here Son.”
He motions his hand toward me so I sit.
“I know you’re sad. I under—”
“No, I’m upset and scared. I don’t want this to end. I…I’m not ready.”
I look at directly at him. “I’m not ready to say goodbye.”
He whispers, “So don’t. Let’s just talk.”