Little Moments (Second Chances 2)

I surrender to the pressure. “All right all right! I’ll go to your stupid party. What time?”

Gabe follows alongside me. “Be there around nine thirty.”

I nod. “Okay now I NEED to get to class.”

Gabe laughs and pats my back as he stalks off down the hall. “This weekend is going to be a blast!”

I chuckle and walk inside the classroom. Sitting at my desk, I think about everything that needs to be done before Saturday. You’d think at seventeen years old, life would be a piece of cake, but it’s the opposite for me. With my older cousin, Franco, away at college and Uncle Vinny and Aunt Maggie running the bakery, a lot of the household chores fall unto me. I’m a regular customer at the local hardware store and the paint shop. But I’m not complaining; being busy helps pass the time. I don’t have time to sit still and dwell on the past.

These past six years haven’t been easy for any of us. The death of my mother hit my uncle pretty hard, but we slowly managed to take it one step at a time and move on. I’m not saying that I’m over it, I just accept the fact that my parents are dead and there’s nothing I can do about it.

I can’t help but remember my mother and see her in my daydreams. Her long dark wavy hair, her big brown eyes, and that gorgeous smile. She was so elegant, and she didn’t even know it. The way she composed herself with confidence and poise, I just loved that about her. Even after my father died, she never lost her spirit. She was always strong and grounded. I never saw her falter or blame anyone else for our troubles. She fought for what she believed in, and she strived to reach her goals.

The shutting of the classroom door startles me from my daydreams as I blink away the memories. Opening my book to today’s lesson, I glance out the window and look at the blue sky. Are you watching over me? Are you with Dad? I miss you both.

I WILL make you proud of me.

I promise.

******

On the way home from school my cell phone rings. I look at it and see a picture of Uncle Vinny blinking on the screen.

I hit the green button and answer, “Hey, everything all right?”

My uncle’s voice chimes through the phone, “Roman are you on your way home?”

As the bus rolls up to the bus stop, I climb on and swipe my MetroPass

. “Yeah, I just got on the bus. I should be there within the hour.”

“Okay, I have to head out for a bit. Can you please run the register at the bakery? Maggie will be there as well, but I don’t want to leave her alone.”

I glance at my watch to see three thirty-five. “Yeah, I can do that. Do you need me to mark anything down? Any custom orders?”

My uncle pauses as he thinks. “As a matter of fact, yes. There is a custom order for a dozen éclairs. Everything is already packed and labeled in the back fridge. The customer just needs to provide payment. You should have everything ready. Also, get the filling and toppings ready for the cheesecakes. I’ll bake them tomorrow morning.”

I take my seat on the bus. “Okay sounds good. I’ll head straight there instead of going home first.”

“Thanks, Roman. I’ll be back around seven or eight.”

“You’re welcome. See you then.”

After we hang up, I decide to take out my schoolbooks and complete my homework on the bus. Ten minutes pass and I look over my answers. The page is all scribble. I let out a deep sigh. New York City potholes for ya. I might as well finish at the bakery.

Putting everything back into the book bag, I put my headphones on and listen to Hozier on the way home. His song “Take Me to Church” starts to play, and I can’t help but bounce my head to the beat. Looking around at the other bus passengers, mostly everyone has headphones on or is on their cell phone.

In a city of over one million people, you’d be surprised how much we all ignore each other. No acknowledgments, no signals, no gestures. All I see is a flood of bodies moving in and out of sync with no sense of direction. Everyone is in their bubble, hiding behind the clouds of technology.

As a child, I remember riding the bus with my parents, sitting on my father’s lap as the three of us talked about life: our plans to visit my uncle, to sightsee and visit The Empire State Building. My father would tell us plans for expanding his business. Mom would smile and look at him with complete admiration and awe. When they were alive, it felt like a different life, a different timeline. It’s still so weird not having them around.

The bus approaches another stop and picks up a couple and their young daughter. After paying the transfer, the three of them sit across from me. I glance over and see the little girl fighting to sit on her father’s lap. A small smile creeps on my lips as I imagine myself doing the same thing with my dad. The little girl gets her way and snuggles up into him as he holds her close. He caresses her head and within minutes, she’s out cold. Happiness and peace radiate off her face and as I look at her, a pinch of jealousy courses through me. I would give anything to be with my folks again.

Turning away, I stare back out at the city that never sleeps. The playlist on my phone continues to play as I rest my head back and wonder what life could have been like if my parents were still alive. What if there had been a cure for my father’s cancer? What if my mom had survived the fire?

What would I be doing right now? Would I have met Gabe? Would I still be close with my aunt and uncle?

Would I be happy?