Kiss Heaven Goodbye

She felt a deep, unsettling selfishness saying it, but it was the truth, and it was also a relief to say out loud what she had been feeling for months, perhaps years.

‘Are you sure this is what you want? Do you want to live like this, always looking over your shoulder?’

‘I want to be president, Grace,’ he said, his eyes blazing. ‘It’s my destiny.’

She took a long, hard look at Gabriel’s face. She didn’t see sadness, guilt or anger at what had just happened. All she saw was desire. Somewhere along the line, the quest for change had become the need for power. And power, she knew, was a drug too hard to kick. Deep down, she knew her marriage was over.

‘Grace!’ cried Gabriel as he watched her walk away. ‘Come back, goddamn it!’

But she kept walking. She closed her eyes and let the summer breeze wash over her, knowing exactly what she needed to do.

Gabriel ran up and caught her arm. ‘Where are you going?’ he said irritably.

‘I’m leaving Parador.’

‘That’s . . . that’s insane!’ stuttered Gabriel. ‘How is that going to look to the electorate, my wife abandoning me?’

‘I don’t care how it looks, Gabe,’ she cried. ‘I want our kids to be safe.’

‘They are safe!’

‘Clearly not.’

‘I thought you wanted to make a difference, Grace,’ he mocked.

She shrugged.‘What is more important to you, Gabe? Your family or your ambitions?’

‘I want to save my country,’ he said, puffing his chest out.

‘No, Gabriel, you want to be president. There is a huge difference. ’

She stormed up the path back to the lodge. Still shaking with anger, she dried her face and took a few moments to compose herself before she went back into the suite. Isabella was in a chair by the open window reading a book, the twins still asleep. Grace wondered how much her mother-in-law had seen or heard.

‘So, my dear,’ said Isabella, putting a bookmark between the pages. ‘I suppose you’ll be leaving us.’

Grace looked across at her sharply. ‘Did you hear?’

‘No,’ she said softly. ‘But I know what I’d be thinking, as a wife and a mother. If I were you, Grace, I would leave Parador.’

Grace gaped at her and Isabella chuckled softly. ‘Don’t look so shocked. I’ve made many sacrifices for my country. I’ve lost a husband and a son. You think you can fix things with good ideas and principles and passion, but sadly, I’ve come to realise that that just isn’t the case.’

‘I do want him to win, Isabella, I do, but I can’t live like this.’ The older woman nodded. ‘Go,’ she said simply. ‘I don’t want to lose anyone else. Nothing is worth that, believe me.’

Grace felt the tears come again. This was the last person she had expected kindness from.

Isabella walked over and gently lifted her chin. ‘Look after my grandchildren for me.’

‘But I thought . . .’

‘You thought I would hate you? No, Grace, I am proud of you. Proud of what you have achieved in Parador, proud of the woman you have grown into. And now I am proud that you are doing the right thing. I only wish that I had had your strength when I was your age.’

Grace could barely move her mouth to speak. Isabella nodded towards the door, where Grace could see her suitcase standing.

‘I’ve packed all your things,’ she said. ‘Now gather your children; your car is waiting downstairs. There’s a jet at Christchurch airport which will take you wherever you want to go.’

Grace pulled Isabella into a smothering hug. It was only then that she realised this was the first time she had ever embraced her mother-in-law. ‘Thank you, Isabella,’ she said simply.

‘You’re very welcome, my dear,’ said Isabella, straightening herself back up to her usual elegant posture.