Rebel Soul
“Thank God, because that’s something we will need to discuss further.”
Even though he can’t see my eyes, I bat my lashes. “Aw, Colt, I had no idea you were so interested in my sex life.”
“Shut the fuck up and tell me what you did.”
I grab a bottle of water from the fridge, crack the top, and take a long pull. “Ooh, all business, then? Okay. I asked Stacia Kellan to move in with me.” My declaration is met with nothing but stone-cold silence. A silence so prolonged that I shift uncomfortably on my feet, placing my bottle down onto the island. “Well?”
“Sorry, I’m just…flabbergasted. You do realize that—if all goes according to plan—you’ll be a father in a year?”
“I do.”
Colton heaves out a sigh, as if I’m being intentionally frustrating. “Okay. And you also realize said child will need a bedroom within your home?”
“Yeah, I’m still not seeing the issue. There’s a whole ‘nother guest room.” I drain the last of my water and toss the bottle into my recycling bin.
“And you think whoever you…procreate with…will be okay with some strange woman sharing a space with their child?”
I huff in annoyance. “Kid’ll be half mine.”
“West!” Colton snaps, letting me know he’s not playing.
“Whatever. Add it to the list of shit we need to talk about. I need you to come by and draft up a rental agreement for Stacia.”
“I swear to God, I’m going to be gray before thirty and every single strand will be because of you.”
“Damn straight,” I say proudly, ending the call.
Twenty minutes later, Colton lets himself into my house. “West!” he calls out from the entry.
“Kitchen!” I holler back, grabbing two bottles of water.
He looks around the kitchen as if he’s expecting someone to jump out at him at any moment. “Where is she?”
“Her room.” My voice is flat.
“Right. Because…okay. Let’s talk.” He swings his satchel up onto the island, retrieving a notebook and fountain pen from inside it. “We need to lay out her monthly rent cost, what bills she will help with, a rental term, as well as a list of ground rules.”
“You really think we need all of that?”
He looks at me like I’m an idiot. “You and your own cousin had all of that. Why on earth would you not need it with some random woman?”
I balk. “She’s not random. I’ve known Stacia every bit as long as I’ve known AJ.”
Colton hisses out a sigh, rubbing his temples. “Anyway. Rent—how much? Half?”
Knowing there’s no way in hell she could front half of the monthly mortgage, I hesitate. I’m walking a fine line between helping her and pissing off Colton. “Actually…I was thinking maybe no rent, and she can just help out with the bills and groceries?”
“What?” Colton tosses his pen down, his frustration with me and this predicament clearly evident in the thin line of his lips and the hard glare he’s aiming my way. “Why on earth would you do that?”
“Dude.” I lean forward onto the island, propping both of my elbows on the cold slab of quartz. “Did you not hear me say Stacia Kellan when we spoke earlier?” I stress her last name.
“I don’t care if she’s a goddamn Kennedy—”
I cut him off. “Her dad’s in jail; their assets are frozen. She needs the help; I’m offering it, end of discussion.”
Colton picks up his pen, poising the tip over his notebook. “Fine,” he grits out, “have it your way. Which bills would you like to split with her?”
I do a quick catalog of my monthlies. “Let’s do the internet, utilities, and groceries.”
“Great,” Colton mutters, his tone clearly implying just how not great he’s finding this. “How long will she be staying here?”
“I can’t really answer that. I’ll let you ask her.”
“Wonderful. Ground rules?”
“No parties without prior consent. No smoking. No pets. No…hmm. What else? Oh! No hookups!” A satisfied grin pulls at my lips as I pick at the label on my water bottle.
“You realize you’ll need to abide by these as well?”
I hold my arms out wide. “So?”
“So, no hookups for you either. Might be tough since you’re trying to have a baby.”
I dismiss him with a brush of my hand. “Nah. That still leaves my car, her car, her place, hotel rooms. The possibilities are endless.”
Colton stares at me. I’m pretty sure he’s about ready to deck me between the eyes and walk away. Luckily, he’s been my friend longer than he’s been my lawyer. Still, I can’t help but to goad him.
“Your sex life must be hella boring if you only lay it down in bed, man.”
His fingers clench his pen so tightly his grip is white-knuckle. “Not even going there, West.”
“Listen, it’s okay to be vanilla. No judging. I’m sure there’s a sweet, equally vanilla lady out there somewhere just waiting for you to wow her with your missionary, lights-off prowess.”