Marriage of Convenience (The Raven Brothers 1)

He came out of the bathroom and picked up his pants, sliding them on. Disappointment filled me.

“Where are you going?” I asked.

“I’m going to get something to eat. You can join me or stay here. This is your room. You’re welcome to decorate it anyway you like.”

What?

I stared at him wondering what was going on. We were married, shouldn’t we be in the same room?

“The bathroom has everything you should need, but if not, let me know and I’ll make sure you get it.” He slipped his shirt on but didn’t button it. He stared at me and frowned. “You sure you’re okay?”

“Just a little overwhelmed.” I couldn’t tell him I expected we’d live more like husband and wife. He’d probably laugh. This was a business deal. It was then that I realized that while my brain knew what was going on, somewhere deep down, I’d hoped for more. I planned to play house and pretend I had the family I’d always craved. What an idiot. I’d have the security, but I was still alone, at least until I had a baby. That’s what I needed to focus on. I couldn’t expect Chase to care for me, no matter how kind he could be sometimes. Just like everyone else in my life, he’d disappoint me if I expected more. But my baby would love me, right? Oh how I’d love it. I ran my hand over my belly, hoping that Chase had been successful.

“This is your home now Sara. You’re welcome to help yourself to anything in the kitchen and to enjoy the facilities.” He stood at the end of the bed with his hands on his waist.

“Thank you.”

He stared at me for a moment, then with a nod he left the room. I squeezed my eyes shut not wanting to cry. I didn’t think it was possible to feel more alone than I already had, but at this moment, I felt like I was in a void. Forcing myself not to wallow, I got out of the bed.

The room was lovely. There was a dark teal accent wall behind the bed, but the rest of the room was light. One wall was all windows, although it was too dark to see anything but lights outside. The bed had wonderfully soft sheets done in a dove gray. The room was more masculine, but still sophisticated. At the moment, I didn’t feel like I needed to change anything, but I also didn’t feel at home. I wondered if that would ever change.

The whole penthouse was amazing. It was the sort of thing a woman like me would dream about. The place took up the entire floor, which meant nearly every room had large windows. It was dark out now and the last time I’d been there, but I suspected it had spectacular views.

I went to the bathroom and nearly gaped. It was larger than my studio apartment had been. A large tile shower with glass surround sat on one side. A huge tube was under the window. I imagined what it would be like to lounge in that tub looking out at the view with a man I was in love with. I shook my head. There wouldn’t be love or romance in my life. But I could still enjoy the tub.

I filled it with water and found some fragrant lavender bath salts. I climbed in and tried to focus on all that was going right in my life. I didn’t have to go back home or to Glen. I didn’t have to worry about money. I didn’t even have to work, although I couldn’t imagine what I’d do all day. If I was lucky, before the year was out, I’d have a child to love and fill my days with joy.

I lay my head back letting the heat of the water and lavender scent of the steam relax me.

“Sara?” Chase knocked on the frame of the door I hadn’t bothered to close. Instinct made me want to cover up, which was ridiculous.

I opened my eyes. “Yes.”

He walked in carrying a plate. “I brought you some cheese and crackers. You should eat.” He pulled over a little table and set the plate down. Then he sat on the edge of the tub. “If you’re pregnant, you need to take care of yourself.”

He was right, although I doubted I was pregnant quite yet. Didn’t it take time for the sperm to reach the egg?

“Yes, of course.” I reached over and picked up a slice of cheese and a cracker, taking a bite. The minute the food hit my tongue, my stomach growled. I guess I was hungry after all.

Chase watched me for a moment, his gaze drifting from my face down to my breasts. Was he feeling amorous again? Part of me wished he was because I longed to have the feeling of connection again even if it was only for that one brief moment of intercourse.