An Innocent Thanksgiving

Mom didn’t say a word, but she got up and followed me. I knew that Dad, angry as he was, would still keep an eye on Fern. I intended to go upstairs, but I only got as far as the living room before bursting into tears.

“Oh, honey.” Mom gathered me into her arms.

“You don’t have to…” I started, wiping at my eyes.

“Shh, no, I’m your mom, of course I’m going to comfort you when you’re crying, honey. C’mere.” Mom guided me to sit down on the sofa. “There we go, cry it out.”

“I knew he would be angry. I’m surprised you’re not angry too.”

Mom rubbed my back, and sighed. “Well… honey… I’ll be… I guessed, actually. Or suspected, I should say.”

I looked up at her. “What?”

Mom gave a little shrug. “Well. I could see that you had a crush on Cal. You were always trying to get his attention and looking at him with stars in your eyes. I mentioned it once or twice to your father. I didn’t think Cal had noticed. If he did he wasn’t treating you any differently. But your father brushed it off, said I was seeing things. I think he’s… upset with himself, a bit, thinking that if he had listened to me maybe he could have spoken to you. Maybe I should have spoken to you. I’m not sure.”

“I know that what I did was stupid. It wasn’t fair to Cal to just show up at his house like that.”

“Well, he also could have kicked you out of the house when you showed up. It sounds fifty-fifty to me. I wouldn’t beat yourself up too much.”

“I’m the one who lied, though. I’m sorry. I lied to you about Fern’s father all this time…” I wiped at my eyes again as my eyes filled with more tears.

Mom sighed. “I’m not going to pretend that it’s not… that it doesn’t hurt that you didn’t tell us the truth. But I can understand why you didn’t. I thought Cal might be the father after—well, you had such a crush on him, and then you didn’t even talk about him. You avoided him when we said he was going to come over. And I knew you weren’t the type to go to parties and have one night stands. You were always so serious about your studying. It just… seemed logical. And Fern does look like Cal. I know it’s not something you really think about, but I have spent the last three decades being friends with the man, I’ve seen him almost every day.”

“I feel so obvious now,” I grumbled, and Mom gave a small laugh. She took my hand.

“Honey, I think it’s best if… if your father gets a chance to let off some steam. I’ll talk to him, and we’ll work it out. You should go be with Cal. Are you two serious about pursuing this relationship?”

I nodded. “I wasn’t sure about it at first. I really wasn’t. Cal had to beg me to give him a chance. I didn’t want to give him a chance to hurt me again even though now that I’m older I understand why he panicked and was upset. But he really is serious about Fern and about me. It’s…” I found myself smiling. “It’s really wonderful. It is.”

Mom gave me a small smile. “Then I’m sure that… well I know that I will try and understand. You should go to Cal for now.”

I hugged her. “Thanks, Mom.”

Mom called Fern in and I hugged her, telling her to be good for Grandma and Grandpa while I went to help out a friend. Fern was totally okay with that—she had no reason to feel that time with her grandparents was anything other than fun. If she noticed the recent tear tracks on my face, she didn’t say anything about it, thank God.

I drove to Cal’s house with my chest feeling all tight and full, like a well about to burst open. I had cried with my mom but I felt far from done.

Why had I slept with him that first night? It had gotten me Fern and that was the one reason that I was’t regretting it, but God, it felt like in some ways the craziest, worst decision of my life. I had ruined my parents’ relationship with Cal and with me, and I’d betrayed their trust. I felt like I’d been such a stupid little girl.

Cal looked surprised when he opened the door and found me standing there. To my shame and horror—but really not a lot of surprise given how I was feeling—I burst into tears.

“Oh, baby.” Cal opened his arms at once and I stepped, or rather flung myself, into his embrace. He held me close and tight, shushing me, kissing my hair and stroking my back.

“We’re going to get through this,” Cal promised me as he led me inside. “You need to rest, babe, it’s okay.”