Nice Day For A White Wedding

I sit down and tell myself I have to calm down. Two hours is a long time. I don’t have to hurry, I will be ready by then. I take everything back out of the suitcase and put it back in neatly. I check the time when I’m done. Twenty minutes have passed. I will wait an extra ten minutes in my room before venturing down and asking someone to drive me to the tarmac.

I wish I could go and say goodbye to Babushka, but I know I can’t. Not without somehow breaking down and making her suspect what Alex has been up to, and I know I can’t do that. But she’s going to be hurt that I left without saying goodbye, but I know Alex, the consummate liar will make up something about me having to go urgently to take care of a sick relative or something. She will never see me again and I hope she will find it in her heart to forgive me.

I have five more minutes to wait when the connecting door in my room opens and Alex walks in. He looks at my suitcase and then at me and I see his jaw tighten as if he is controlling himself. It makes me want to go to him and throw my arms around him and tell him I won’t leave him if he wants me to stay.

But I don’t.

I hate liars. Even gorgeous liars like him.

So I look away from him, refusing to meet his eyes.

Alex

I stop dead when I see her suitcases on the bed. I was wrong earlier when she turned her back on me and I thought I was breaking inside. Seeing her standing over her packed cases is a hundred times worse. I know she has to leave this place. After what happened earlier, and after she found out about the clause, I don’t blame her for wanting to leave. She has her dignity and her pride. I would want to leave too if I was in her shoes.

“Let me help you carry your suitcases down,” I hear myself saying. My voice sounds strange to my ears.

I walk towards her and she doesn’t back away, but she makes no effort to come to me and when I reach her, I have to physically stop myself from reaching for her.

She looks me in the eye and I can see her heart is breaking. I don’t want her to be hurting, but in some ways, the hurt I can see in her eyes gives me hope. I can still reach her. She hasn’t turned herself off from me completely. Not yet.

“No need. I’m sure one of the staff will help me.”

I expected that answer. I stare at her blankly. I feel so lost.

I see a flash of anger cross her face. “What will you tell Babushka?”

“What do you want me to tell her?” My voice almost falters. What a mess this has turned out to be. I underestimated Petra. I didn’t think it through. I was careless. I should have known better. There was too much money at stake.

“Please,” she whispers, “tell her I’m sorry I had to go, but that it was lovely to meet her.”

Then she goes to step around me, struggling to pull her suitcase behind her. The weight of it makes her stumble and I reach out then. I grab her wrist and even as she breaks my heart I feel the sparks when we touch. I know she feels them too, because she gasps before she pulls her arm away from me.

“Don’t you dare touch me,” she hurls at me.

“I’ll fix it all, I promise,” I whisper.

She snorts out a laugh. “Fix it? How the fuck do you expect to do that?” she yells. Then she stops and takes a deep breath before continuing in a calmer voice. “I don’t need you to swoop in and fix things for me. Nah. You’ve got your hands full here. Anyway, I’m a grown woman and I don’t need you or anyone else to take care of me. Now if you don’t mind, I’d like to go downstairs and ask for some help with my suitcases.”

She leaves me then, limping pitifully, and I let her go. I watch her back as she slowly and painfully walks away from me. She never looks back, and I feel as though my whole future has been ripped away. As though the only light left in my life has been extinguished. I dared to let myself believe I could still have a happy ending.

I go to the top of the stairs and watch her grasp the banister as she hops down the stairs. As soon as she gets down safely I call the driver to bring the car around. Then I go back into her room and pick up her two suitcases.