Blame It On The Whiskey (On the Rocks)

I look at my hair that's in knots on my head, the mascara that's trailing down my face. I'm a mess. I grab some clothes out of my drawer and head over to the bathroom. I shower quickly, thinking the whole time of how I'm going to handle this. I need a plan.

All the options start playing in my head. I try to think of all the different scenarios. When I’ve lathered my hair and body and let the water rinse me clean, I finally think I may have come up with a good plan.

It was the whiskey.

I'm just going to tell him that the whiskey was the reason everything happened last night. I had way too much to drink. Plus, he's the one that asked me to act like I was his girlfriend. I was just playing a role. So of course, it's going to make me think things. The game on top of the liquor—I didn’t know what I was doing.

I finish washing up and start to get dressed, repeating my story over and over in my head. As I brush my hair, I look at myself almost sadly in the mirror. This is probably going to change everything. I brush my teeth and try to mentally prepare myself for what’s about to happen. I can't imagine my life without Parker in it, and it seems I've probably fucked it all up in one night. I should have kept my feelings to myself.

I toss my toothbrush into the cup onto the counter and walk back into the bedroom. My eyes are drawn instantly to pictures of Parker all over my wall and mirror. "Damn it," I say. He was in here, and I know he saw all of the pictures. He probably thinks I'm stalking him, that I'm some kind of psycho. I won't blame him if he walks out of here and never talks to me again. I take a deep breath and prepare myself to go out into the living room to talk to him. It's now or never.

Chapter 12

Parker

I'm a nervous wreck. I've barely slept all night long. I don't know how long I stood at Haven's bedroom door and watched her sleep. I've imagined every way this can play out today. The good and the bad. I want things to change, but a part of me doesn't. A part of me is scared of the change. Every thought is going through my head until I see her. When she walks out of her bedroom door and looks at me curiously, I know. I know that everything is going to change, but it's going to be okay. It has to be.

She walks into the living room, and I stand up. She holds her hands up in front of her. "Let me go first."

I nod, and she crosses her arms over her chest. "I need to tell you that I'm sorry. I don't want anything to change between us. I had too much to drink."

I walk toward her until I'm standing right in front of her. As I get close, she lets her voice trail off. I want to reach out for her, but it's important that I don't pressure her in any way. “I want everything to be different.”

She seems taken aback. “It doesn’t have to be. We can forget about last night, Parker.”

She doesn’t get it. She seems visibly shaken by my words, and her eyes start to tear up. I can't hold back any longer, and I reach for her, pulling her into my arms. "Was everything you said last night true?"

She shrugs her shoulders. “I was drunk last night.”

I grab her shoulders. “You know some people say that alcohol only brings out how you really feel.”

She’s staring over my shoulder, refusing to look at me.

She doesn't answer me or even respond to what I just said. I wait patiently for her to say something, anything, but she doesn't. I know she's scared. Hell, I'm scared, too, but I'm more scared of losing her. I gently wrap my arms around her and pull her against me. I rest my head on her shoulder. I need to be upfront and honest with her. That’s the only choice I have. "I've been a fool, Haven. Everything that we've been through together, all the times that you were there for me, I should have known. It took me a long damn time to figure it all out. But now I know. I always think of you. The whole entire time I'm gone, you are the only thing that keeps me going. If something happens, heck anything happens, you're the one that I want to talk to first and tell all about it."

I pull back and look down into her face. She's looking at me in amazement. I cup her face with my hands. "I love you, Haven. Hell, I've always loved you, but it's different now. You're my best friend. You'll always be my best friend, but I want more."