Shadows of Yesterday

“I don’t want to hurt you,” he moaned in anguish. He needn’t have worried. His stroking fingers found her ready for his loving, prepared for it by the power of his kisses, the magic of his touch.

“Honey, sweet, sweet honey.” His breath was a moist vapor on her fevered skin. He kissed her navel, the concave hollow at the top of her thighs, the tight nest of curls.

“Oh, Chad, please,” she sobbed. Her hands slipped beneath his underwear to mold the taut muscles of his hips to her palms. She couldn’t believe her own boldness, but it was rewarded when he raised up to pull off the briefs with quick jerking motions of his hands and legs.

Stretching her arms around his well-muscled torso, she pulled him down to her. His chest settled against her breasts, their stomachs cushioned together. Then his hardness nestled against her complementing softness.

She smoothed the lines of concern from his forehead as she lifted her mouth to his. As the kiss deepened, she could feel his restraint melting, but his probing was tentative, timid. Aching for him, she ran her hands down his back encouragingly. His breathing grew irregular and labored in her ear.

“God, Leigh, I can’t help it. I can’t hold back any longer,” he ground out just before he penetrated the threshold.

She knew a moment of pinching tightness. It was like losing her virginity all over again. The thought thrilled her. It was a beginning for her and Chad. She was new for him. A soft, ecstatic cry explored against the lips resting on hers.

His own sigh echoed her exultation. “You’re so sweet… so sweet…” he groaned. Convinced now that she wasn’t going to shatter, he pressed deeper and rocked her with him in an ageless rhythm. Together they hurtled off the edge of the earth. When she coasted down, he caught her to him, whispering urgently, “I love you, Leigh. I love you.”

* * *

“Did I hurt you, Leigh? After the baby”

“No, no,” she whispered, snuggling closer against him.

“Good,” he said, relieved. He caught a strand of her hair and rubbed it between his fingers. “Sharon was as afraid of sex as she was of everything else, especially when I took off my clothes on our wedding night. I was made to feel like a sadist that night, and it never got any better. She loved me, but she was terrified of loving.”

He rolled her over onto her back and let his fingers glide along the top curve of her breasts. “You, on the other hand, are warm and receptive. I could barely keep up with you.” She slapped playfully at his hand, but knew at once that, underlying his teasing, something was troubling him. “It makes me wonder if…” He cleared his throat and tried to smile before flopping onto his back. “Never mind.”

She knew what he wanted to know and his male vanity amused her, but she hid her smile. Knowing better than to patronize him, she approached the question bluntly. “Chad, are you thinking about me with Greg?”

“It’s none of my business.”

“It is now,” she said simply.

“I’m not asking for comparisons.”

“I wouldn’t make them.” She leaned over and kissed him gently on the lips. “You please me well. From the first time you kissed me in the hospital, I’ve known that my response was as important to you as your own gratification. That means so much to me, to any woman. Greg never made me feel cherished. You do.”

She could have told him more. She could have told him that she’d never reached that level of senselessness with Greg. He had been a capable lover, but she had never felt

as if she had his total attention. Even while lying in his arms, their bodies united, she often felt that his mind was elsewhere, that he was performing out of habit rather than spontaneously. But it wouldn’t be fair to Greg’s memory to discuss that with Chad.

“I want you to know, too, that there hasn’t been anyone since Greg. And… and no one before. Until tonight I had only slept with my husband.”

He might not believe so old-fashioned a confession.

He turned toward her until they were lying face-to-face. “Leigh, how rare you are,” he said softly, stroking her cheekbone with the tip of his finger.

“And you.”

“I love you, Leigh. I didn’t want to say it before lest you think I was just trying to pressure you into going to bed with me. I was so happy when you said you wanted me, and even if you’d said you weren’t ready yet, just knowing that you wanted me would have set my heart at rest. Of course, I can’t say the same for other parts of my anatomy…” They laughed softly, though inwardly Leigh wasn’t certain she wanted or was ready for his love. “I love you, but if you ask me to go now, I’ll go.”

“No. Stay,” she whispered, certain of that one fact—she wanted him to stay. She leaned into him, crushing her breasts against the wall of his chest. His hand went to the small of her back and pressed her closer. They kissed.

“You have a most impressive chest,” she said into the crinkly mat that tickled her nose as she lowered her head.

“Yours is okay.” He laughed when she nipped him with playful teeth. His hands told her how much he liked the way she was made. She was held in his palms while his thumbs appreciated the crests.

Her lips kissed their way across his chest until she found the masculine nipples. She tested the way they felt against her tongue. Chad’s body went rigid with expectation as her hand began to wander. Even as her mouth tortured him with slow, licking kisses, her hand sought and found the strength of his manhood where it pressed against her thighs.

“Oh, God,” he rasped between clenched teeth. “Leigh, do you know what you’re doing?”