Hidden Fires

Olivia drew herself up sharply, then let her breath out slowly. She had almost made a blunder and was grateful that she had been stopped. “You are quite right, Carson, it does upset me. More coffee?”

Lauren excused herself and went upstairs. Unable to stop herself, she paused outside the door of Jared’s room, staring at it intently. What did she expect to see? Would the door dissolve and reveal him sitting in a chair smo

king one of his inevitable cheroots? Would he materialize before her as he did in her dreams night after night?

No. He wasn’t here. He was in Austin on “business.” Surmising what kind of business he was involved in brought a heavy pain to her heart. Was he with another woman? Women? Why should she care? Yet she did.

Her hand went instinctively to the watch pinned on her breast. Without conscious thought, her fingers lowered and lightly brushed her nipple through the soft cotton of her blouse. Her whole body flushed hotly and she caught her breath at the sensations that assailed her.

Did you really touch me here, Jared? she asked the darkness. She didn’t want to know, didn’t want to care, but couldn’t refrain from adding, What did you think of me?

Anguish and loneliness accompanied her into her room.

* * *

Jared came home the day before Thanksgiving. Lauren was in her room reading. Her heart leaped in her chest when she heard the familiar clump of boots and the ring of spurs in the hallway. She gripped the book tightly and held it against her. The door to his room opened and closed quietly, and she heard the thump of valises on the floor. He moved around the room awhile, then the bed creaked as his weight was lowered onto it. All became quiet.

Try as she might, Lauren couldn’t regain her interest in the book.

She took a great deal of care in dressing for dinner, donning a flattering dress and soft kid slippers. Her hair had been washed and brushed. She had a wild impulse to leave it hanging loose but, of course, that would be unseemly. Instead, she let Elena arrange it in a glossy pompadour.

She heard Jared leave his room and go downstairs, and followed a few minutes later. She was incredibly nervous. How could she face him after he had taken her to her room, undressed her, and put her to bed? And if he had…

She walked into the parlor and her heart turned over when she saw his tall, broad back leaning over the sideboard as he poured a drink.

“Lauren, you make the evening glow. How are you, my dear?” Carson came to her and kissed her cheek.

She watched Jared over Carson’s shoulder. His back stiffened and he took a long gulp of whiskey before he turned around. He is so handsome, she thought mournfully. She could bear his indifference and cruelty, his desertion, if he were ugly or repellent to her. But from the first she had felt a strange chemical attraction to this man.

He met her eyes over Carson’s pudgy form and lifted his glass in a mocking salute.

“Jared, would you pour Lauren a sherry, please, and I’ll have another.” Lauren noticed that Olivia’s eyes were especially brilliant. The news that Jared had brought from Austin must have pleased her.

“I’m so glad the Vandivers are coming for Thanksgiving tomorrow. Thank you for delivering my invitation, Jared.” Olivia watched closely as Jared handed Lauren her glass of sherry.

“You’re welcome,” he replied. He looked down at Lauren from his towering height as she took the drink. Their fingers touched briefly. The contact was electrifying and she thought she heard his breath rush past his teeth in a soft gasp. But as her eyes traveled up the long body to meet his glowing eyes, she saw them frost over immediately.

“I knew Lauren would want to see Kurt again. It’s been such a long time.” The slurring words were said low and for her hearing only. Why was he doing this again? He was as arrogant and hateful as the first night she had seen him in this room.

All her excitement at seeing him drained away as dinner dragged on interminably. Jared drank more than he ate. What had happened to the healthy appetite that couldn’t be appeased at Keypoint? Maria and Gloria were always teasing him about his hollow leg.

He was sullen and erratic. One minute he was strenuously criticizing the Railroad Commission and their ineptitude, and the next minute, he was muttering into his glass.

Lauren went into the library to read by the fire after dinner. She had stood all the tension she could in one evening. The others retired to the office to discuss the results of Jared’s trip to the capital.

Hours later, Lauren was still in the library, seated in an overstuffed chair with her shoes lying on the hearth and her feet curled up under her legs.

She didn’t know how long he had been there before she noticed Jared standing in the doorway. When she looked up at him, he stumbled wearily into the room and collapsed into the twin chair beside hers. His head fell back against the plump cushions and he closed his eyes. Lauren sat still. As the minutes ticked by, she thought that he must have fallen asleep, but eventually he opened his eyes, though he didn’t move his head or body.

“It’s awfully late, Lauren. Why are you still up?” He sounded exhausted.

“I got absorbed in my book. Sometimes I can read well into the night if a book is particularly interesting.” Or if I can’t get you off my mind, she added to herself.

She looked like a vision in the firelight. Its shimmer caught on the black hair and seemed to ignite each strand. Her dress was a soft rose wool with pearl buttons at the neck. With the firelight, it enhanced the enticing blush on her cheeks, which he knew were velvet-soft. Behind her eyeglasses, her eyes were wide and deep and clear.

Jared cleared his throat, rousing himself from his perusal. “What do you read? You are quite a bookworm, you know,” he teased softly.

“Everything,” she said lightly, indulging his need for small talk. “Books were my best friends when I was growing up. Other children didn’t want to play with the minister’s daughter. It made them uncomfortable, you see. My mother died when I was three.” He noticed her reach up and touch her watch. “So my friends were the characters I found in print. I read the classics, history, and philosophy. But for fun, I like Dickens, the Brontës, and Jane Austen.”