Hidden Fires

Lauren had only a vague conception of what the intimacies of marriage implied, but the idea of even sharing the same room with the preacher convinced her that spinsterhood would be preferable to a lifetime spent with William Keller

Normally Lauren’s impressions of people were charitable, but she found William physically unattractive, intellectually boring, and socially bigoted. His entire person repulsed her. He had an annoying habit of talking to one’s chest rather than one’s eyes. Tall and stoop-shouldered, he had thin, lank blond hair which was perpetually falling into colorless eyes fringed by equally colorless lashes. His nose was the most prominent and unfortunate feature of his face. Lauren thought he greatly resembled illustrations of Ichabod Crane, Washington Irving’s main character in The Legend of Sleepy Hollow.

Ben Lockett had brought her attention back to him with a brusque clearing of his throat. He didn’t pursue the subject of William. Instead, he asked her, “What do you do, Miss Holbrook?” Lauren looked at him, puzzled by the question. He clarified, “What keeps you busy around here? Are you happy?”

She answered him frankly. “The Prathers are dear people, and it was kind of them to take me into their home when my father died. I had no relatives. Father had a small annuity, which they have refused to accept for my expenses. I had hoped to teach music or perhaps tutor students in literature or grammar and earn my own money, but the Prathers adamantly reject the idea of my working outside the house.”

“So you entertain their guests. That’s all?” He smiled at her kindly, and she didn’t take offense.

“It’s not a very ambitious undertaking, is it?” she asked ruefully. “Oh, I do charity work in the church, sit with shut-ins and sick people, help new mothers with the rest of their families while they’re in confinement. I play the organ for the Sunday services and teach a children’s Sunday school class.” Even to her own ears, these accomplishments sounded dreary.

“Did you ever think of having a family of your own? Marrying?” He fixed her with a blue gaze that was penetrating and compelling.

“I… well, not really,” she said shyly, and shifted her eyes away from him.

“When I’m trying to make some decision and sort things out, I ride the line for a few days by myself. I like being alone with no company except my horse and Mother Nature.”

“‘Ride the line’?” she asked with quickening interest.

> “Yes. We ride along the fences to make sure none have been knocked down or cut down. Sometimes rustlers try to steal Lockett cows, or maybe a sheep farmer wants to water his flock and not pay for it, so the sheep just make themselves at home on Lockett land.”

Lauren drew a deep breath and held it a long time before releasing it. “It sounds… oh… beautiful, primeval, exciting. I don’t know the word to use.”

“It’s all those things.” He studied his knuckles for a moment, then asked, “Why don’t you come to Texas with me?” His tone was no longer bantering, as it had been when he made the same offer, publicly, earlier that afternoon.

“You’re teasing me about this, Mr. Lockett.” The statement contained only a hint of query.

“No, I’m not, Miss Holbrook. I’m just an old cowboy who believes in saving time and getting right to the point.”

“But what in the world would I do in Texas?” She had thought at the time that it was an impossibility for her to have such an adventure but hadn’t wanted to give up the idea just yet.

“My wife is very active in social and civic affairs in Coronado. That’s the town we live in. It’s about half a day’s ride from Austin. I’m at Keypoint or away on business so often that she can’t always count on me. I think she could use someone with your abilities to help her. You’ve had a lot of experience in arranging social functions. You are an accomplished musician and well read, both of which would be helpful. You could handle her correspondence and such. What do you think?”

When she didn’t respond, he pressed his point.

“Of course, we would pay you a salary and give you a room in the house. My son has never married, so we have a lot of space that I was hoping would one day be taken up with grandchildren.” He paused for a long moment and, when Lauren looked at him, he was staring unseeingly at the rose-bushes. Then he seemed to shake himself loose from the thought and continued, “I want you to feel like one of the family. You would in no way be considered a servant.” He grinned engagingly.

“But why are you asking me? I’m sure if Mrs. Lockett were looking for a secretary, she could find one.”

He shrugged negligently, dismissing her logic. “I’m sure she could, too, but it would probably never occur to her to look for one. My reasons are my own, but I promise you that they are above reproach.” He smiled down at her, and his eyes twinkled like blue lights under the bushy white brows.

“Mr. Lockett, I appreciate your liking me enough to invite me,” Lauren said earnestly, “but my place is here. This is where my father wanted me to be.”

“Your father is dead. You’re alive, but you’ll be as good as dead if you don’t get out now.”

Lauren had been startled when he stood up abruptly, almost angrily, and took several impatient steps away from her. When he turned back, he had looked at her with tenderness and spoken more gently.

“Lauren,” she noticed his switch to her first name, “I know you have been taught to obey without questioning. You have a keen sense of duty that is admirable. But I think I see in you a restlessness, an eagerness for life, that needs to be unleashed. You could come to stay awhile, and if things didn’t work out, or if you hated Texas and the Locketts, I would see that you were sent home right away. No hurt feelings.”

What a fool she had been not to accept his invitation right then! Instead, with her head bowed, she had responded softly, “Mr. Lockett, your invitation is overwhelming, and I would love to accept. But I can’t go anywhere.” She shook her head sadly. “I have been taught duty and responsibility, you see. I will probably live with the Prathers for the rest of their lives. They depend on me. It would destroy them for me to leave.”

“And what happens to you when they die? If you haven’t been pawned off on William or someone like him, what will you do then?”

“I’m sure that some provision will have been made for me.”

He sighed heavily and, seeing him so deflated, Lauren was almost prompted to change her mind. He seemed to lose some of his vibrancy. His age was suddenly more apparent on the chiseled features, and there was a mute appeal in the deep blue eyes.

“If there is ever the slightest possibility that you might change your mind, wire me immediately. I mean it. You have a standing invitation.”