Tumble (Dogwood Lane 1)

I broke her heart. I broke her heart in the worst way I could, and the fact she didn’t tell me to fuck right off is more than I really deserve. It’s more than I would’ve given me.

A box of screws falls from the passenger’s seat onto the floorboard. Penn’s voice calls from the other side of the truck, giving me shit about my state of mind. I flip him the bird before going back to rustling through the middle console.

I can’t make things not have happened. I can’t undo actions taken years ago.

My hand stills over a packet of spearmint gum. Eyes resting on the little tree-shaped air freshener, I sigh.

I wouldn’t undo them. Even if I could. Even if it would have saved her the heartbreak.

My shoulders slump as I back out of the cab.

“All that for some gum?” Penn asks, looking at the packet in my hand.

I deliberately open a stick and shove it in my mouth. “Want one?”

“Just in case you poisoned it, I’m good.” He stretches his arms overhead. “So can we call off today and go see Neely?”

“No. Both of you go back to work.” The gum crackles as I put way too much effort into chewing. “Now.”

“You wanting to go alone?” Matt cracks.

“Why do I like either one of you again?” I look from one to the other.

“Because I’m your brother and saved you from drowning when you were ten. And we keep Penn around . . .” Matt looks at our best friend and shrugs. “Why do we keep you around?”

“I’m assuming so you can get pussy. So many come at me I can’t possibly handle them all.”

“How does that shit taste comin’ outta your mouth?” Matt asks.

I watch the two of them spar back and forth. Despite the near-constant jabbing between each other, Penn’s refusal to ever show up on time, and Matt’s perpetual state of looking for something he’s lost, they’re the two I can count on.

As I realize they have stopped bantering and are both looking at me, I frown. I can’t do this all day. “I’m going for lumber,” I tell them.

“Is that what we’re calling her now?” Penn tries to bite back a laugh and fails. Matt joins in, and their entertainment at my expense grates my nerves.

“If you need anything,” I say, ignoring them, “you have about two minutes to tell me.”

“I need about a dozen two-by-fours,” Matt says, trying to wave Penn off. “And a couple boxes of nails.”

“I figured we were going to come up short.”

Penn digs a water bottle from the cooler in the back of my truck. “That’s what you get for letting Matt do the calculations.”

They chat about something quietly as I busy myself with picking up the screws on the floorboard of my truck. It would be a completely normal day if I didn’t have a knot winding in the pit of my stomach so tight I can feel it radiating through my core.

By the time I get the screws back in the box and the passenger’s door shut, there’s a peace in the air. The bantering has stopped, and a stillness settles across the lawn.

Matt wipes his mouth with the back of his hand as he gazes over the forest below. “Can you imagine walking out your door in the morning to take a piss and then seeing this?”

“I don’t normally piss out my front door, but I see your point,” I say, admiring the acres of forest surrounding the building site.

“Well, I do and I get it.” Penn takes a few steps in front of us. “Nice chunk of land.”

“Nah, it’s more than that,” I say. I can imagine the yard full of toys, the house smelling like roast beef. “It’s the perfect spot for a home.”

Matt takes a deep breath and works his neck back and forth. “You know, I’ve been thinkin’ . . .”

Penn groans. “Thanks for the warning.”

“I’m being serious,” Matt protests. “Hear me out, will ya?”

“We’re listening,” I tell him, preparing myself. Absolutely anything in the world could topple out of his mouth. Nothing would surprise me. A few things would irritate me, and I have a feeling he’s headed that direction.

Matt pauses, possibly to get his courage up, and takes another drink. His lips pull together as he screws the top back on. “We’re getting old, guys. Maybe it wouldn’t be bad, having a house like this with a woman and—”

“Did you just suggest monogamy to me?” Penn gasps. “Do you know me at all?”

I give them both a look. “This day gets stranger by the minute.”

“Fuck you, guys.” Matt chuckles, shaking his head. “I’m just saying maybe there’s something to be said for predictable pussy.”

Shoving away from the truck, I laugh. “That’s an oxymoron. Pussy is never predictable.”

Matt nods. “Yeah. You’re right. Bad choice of words. What about consistent pussy?”