Dreamless (Starcrossed 2)

Shutting the door behind her and desperately hoping that her room would melt by morning, Helen shivered and pulled back the covers on her bed. Ice flakes rose up and danced around the room, like handfuls of glitter tossed in the air. The clock on her bedside table read 11:11. Zipping her jacket up as high as it would go, Helen gritted her chattering teeth in determination and climbed between the stiff, cold sheets.

When Helen appeared next to him Orion was already walking down the infinite beach that never led to any sea.

“Hi,” he said shyly, like it was the first time they had ever met.

“Hi, yourself,” Helen said back in what she hoped was a spunky way. She was really nervous, and desperate to lighten the mood between them. “So, are we pals again or did you just come down here to tell me where I can shove my quest?”

Instead of laughing, Orion smiled sadly at her. Helen swallowed down the tight feeling that was building in her throat. She didn’t know what she would do if Orion stopped helping her. She might not ever see him again.

“I’m sorry! I’m really, really sorry, okay? I didn’t mean to stab you!”

That sounded terrible. Helen felt her eyes start stinging. Orion got downright panicky at the sight of her tears. If Helen wasn’t so upset, the expression on his face would have been funny.

“Whoa! Back up, I’m not mad at you at all. In fact, you should be mad at me.”

“Why would I be mad at you?” Helen asked, bewildered. She wiped at a leaky eye with the back of her hand and tried to see his face. He wouldn’t look at her.

“I forced you, Helen. I was trying to—” He broke off and took a moment before starting over. “There have been Scions from the House of Rome who could control hearts so well that even members of enemy Houses could be together and talk to each other like the Furies weren’t even there. I know I’m strong enough to do it too, but I’ve never had anyone to teach me how. I was trying to do it in the cave with you, but instead I did something I promised myself I’d never do to another person. I manipulated you. I made you kiss me, and I’m so sorry.”

“I’m not,” Helen responded so quickly she nearly cut him off. He opened his mouth to argue with her, but she talked over him. “If you hadn’t, I would have killed you. I don’t think I could have lived with myself if I did. I almost killed you,” Helen repeated. She was choking up again, feeling how close she had come to doing something that she knew her conscience couldn’t handle.

“Hey. I’m fine, so no crying, okay?” He took her shoulders and pulled her into a huge, warm hug. Helen relaxed gratefully against him. “Believe me, I’ve done things that are far worse. That’s why I want you to stop and really think about whether or not you want to have me along.”

“You’re kinda slow, huh?” she said, her words muffled in his chest. She pulled back in his arms, laughing now the worst had passed. “Of course I want you here. I need you. I don’t want to get attacked by any monsters tonight.”

“Helen, this isn’t a joke. I could do much worse than just kill you.”

“What do you mean?” Helen thought about him reaching inside of her, how it had kind of hurt, even though it felt so good. He was so gentle. She imagined how horrible it would have felt if he hadn’t been. “Is this about your invisible hand?”

“My what?” Orion asked, confused. Then he suddenly blushed and looked down.

He eased himself away from Helen and put some distance between them. She shuffled around for a moment, unsure of what to do with her arms.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know what else to call it,” she stammered apologetically, thinking she might have said something silly. “It felt like you reached into my chest. I pictured a hand.”

“No, don’t be sorry. Call it whatever you want. I’ve just never heard it described that way, that’s all. Not that I’ve done it that much,” he added quickly. “I’ve always known that’s not the kind of love I want. Forced.”

“No, I wouldn’t want that, either. That’s quite a talent you got there,” Helen said cautiously. She didn’t want to offend him, but the truth was, it frightened her a little. “Can everyone from the House of Rome do that?”

“No,” Orion assured her. “But they can sway you—and don’t think that isn’t bad enough, because it is. Sometimes the difference between doing the right thing and the wrong thing takes less than a nudge, but I’m the only one that I know of that can fully turn a heart. Or break it forever. And that’s not the worst I can do.”

Helen couldn’t imagine many things that were worse than having a heart that was broken forever, but something in the way his eyes widened and sunk in with fear told her that he could.

“So, what’s the worst you can do?” she asked gently. Orion clenched his jaw and spoke through his teeth.

“I’m an Earthshaker.”

He said “Earthshaker” like most people would say “ax murderer.”

“Okay,” she said blankly. “Wait, I don’t understand. What’s so horrible about that?”

He stared at her disbelievingly for a moment. “Helen . . . have you ever heard of a beneficial earthquake? One where everyone went around afterward saying, ‘Gee! It’s real lucky we had that devastating earthquake! I’m so glad everyone I know is dead and the whole city is a pile of rubble now!’”

Helen didn’t mean to laugh, but it slipped out, anyway. Frustrated, Orion tried to turn away from her, but she wasn’t about to let him go. She grabbed on to one of his thick forearms with both of her hands and tugged until he turned back and faced her.

“Don’t walk away. Talk to me,” she insisted, wanting to kick herself for laughing. “Explain this whole Earthshaker thing.”

Orion dropped his head and took her hand. As he spoke, he fiddl