Always You (Adair Family 3)

I looked at said biceps and forearms and said, “On second thought, give it back.”

Raising an eyebrow, he did just that while I scooted closer to him. A low chuckle fell between his lips as I smoothed the lotion on him myself.

“Opportunist,” Mac murmured, and while we were both wearing sunglasses so I couldn’t see the look in his eyes, I knew by his tone that they would be filled with tenderness.

I smiled flirtatiously as I took my time, feeling every sinew and muscle in his arms. “I enjoy touching you. Sue me.” Smoothing the lotion down over his hands, I tangled our fingers together playfully.

Mac brought our joined hands to his mouth and pressed a sultry kiss to the back of mine. “Let me do the rest,” he said quietly, expression heated, “unless you’re into me fucking you in public.”

I threw my head back in laughter and promised to grant him mercy after I got the back of his neck. That meant shoving my breasts in his face, to which he gave me a not-so-stern warning to stop.

I scooted back to my spot on the blanket, and Mac handed me the lotion once all his bare skin was covered. “Want a hand?” he asked.

Shaking my head with a smile, I replied, “You better not.”

With a smug chuckle, Mac reached for his sandwich instead. Once I was done with the lotion, I ate too. “Has Robyn been here with her camera?” The Bay of Sannick was roughly two hours north of Ardnoch on mainland Scotland’s most northerly coastline.

“I think she’s been everywhere in Caithness and Sutherland at this point,” Mac replied. “Lachlan’s taking her to Glasgow in September. They’re staying down there for a few weeks so Robyn can explore the central belt.”

It still amazed me that Robyn was actually making money as a landscape photographer, and not because her photos weren’t spectacular (I planned to commission a few whenever I built my home), but because it wasn’t easy making money from artistic endeavors.

“Does that mean you’re running the estate again?”

Mac shrugged. “Not like when they were on their honeymoon. Lachlan will work remotely while they’re down there. I know Robyn prefers to go off on her photography scouting alone most of the time, so he’ll have time to work.”

Oh, speaking of photographs … I opened my purse for my phone. “Will you take a selfie with me?” I smiled at him. “I realized there are very few photos of us, and we’ve hardly taken any since we got together.”

Mac’s answer was a lift of his chin and moving himself a few inches closer. His arm slid around my waist, and I nestled back into him as I raised the camera. “Smile, and if you can’t smile, big guy, then just think of the fantastic things I did with my mouth in bed this morning.”

His laughter filled my ear, and I grinned as I snapped the photo.

Mac grasped my chin lightly and turned me into him for a kiss. It was one of the best kisses of my life, even though we’d certainly had more exciting ones. But I could still feel the amusement on his lips, feel the adoration in the sweetness of it. The sounds of the water gently lapping the shore, the gulls crying above, and the laughter in the near distance from those we shared the beach with … yeah, it was a perfect kiss.

And when I later checked the selfie, it was the best photo ever. I’d captured Mac laughing while I grinned, delighted I’d amused him.

As we sat enjoying the contentment of a beautiful summer’s day on a wee slice of heavenly beach, I thought of everything I didn’t know about Mac and how I so desperately wanted to be the person who knew every inch of him, past and present.

“How are things with Robyn? I feel like I haven’t asked you that in a while.”

His lips lifted up at the corners. “They’re good. Better than I ever could’ve hoped for.”

“Do you talk about her with Iona?” It was silly, I knew, but I was almost jealous of Mac’s therapist. She maybe knew him better than I did.

“I do. My past with Robyn is a huge part of why I feel so much like a failure. Talking about it helps me see things clearer. To accept failure where it is, aye, but to recognize my success with her too.”

“You should feel only success now, Mackennon. You’re a wonderful dad … even if it still feels really weird that you have a daughter Robyn’s age,” I teased.

But Mac didn’t smile. He stared out toward the sea and confessed, “Sometimes I get into these phases where I can’t stop thinking about two things. The first is when she broke down crying when she finally confronted me about leaving her. I play it over and over in my head, and I swear to God, it feels like my guts are being ripped out every time.”

“Mackennon,” I whispered, tears brightening my eyes. I hated that he was haunted by that moment.

“I’m learning to do it less,” he promised me.

“And the second thing?”

“Is about her getting shot in the line of duty. That no one called me. That she actually …” His voice cracked. “Died. She died and might never have come back. And never mind that I didn’t know and I wasn’t there to see her through her recovery … but what if she had died? How long would Stacey have waited to tell me? Would I have missed her funeral? I would never have had the chance to make things right between us.”

“Mackennon.” I rubbed his back in soothing circles. “You mustn’t let yourself fall down that rabbit hole.”