Savage Saints (Monsters of Saint Mark's)

Tarq walks around the table and sits across from me. We stare at each other for a moment. He steeples his fingers under his chin. “Forget about Talina—”

“No.” I say it loudly. “No.” Then again, softer. “I want to know what’s going on.”

“It’s a long story. Filled with nuances and—”

“Cut the crap, OK? Do you think I’m this princess?”

He nods. “I do.”

I look away. Stare across the room. Barely seeing what’s all around me. My face suddenly goes hot and I think I might cry, but I don’t have the faintest idea of why I might cry, which just makes me want to cry more.

Tarq lets out a sigh. “But about the book…”

“Forget the book, Tarq. If you know things”—I force myself to look him in the eyes—“if you know things about me, then I need that information and I need it right now. Because I have been wandering through this fucking life clueless!” That last word comes out as a shout. “And I’m fucking sick of it!”

There are several long moments of agonizing silence in which I begin to squirm. He doesn’t scare me. Not really. He hasn’t been mean to me and I really don’t think he’s going to hurt me. So that’s not why I squirm. I squirm because he’s looking at me with such intensity, such focused consideration, his gaze almost comes off as heat.

I can feel him.

“OK,” he finally says. “But I have one question first.” I open my mouth to protest, but he puts up a hand, silencing me. “Just one. That’s all.”

“Fine.”

“Who is your father?”

“What?”

“You heard me. Who is he?”

“I don’t know. I never met him.”

He nods, like he was expecting this. And I suddenly feel like I’m trapped in a stupid fairy tale and my whole life is a storybook of lies. “Well, I think I know him.”

“My father?”

“Yes. I think you are this missing princess and I think you being here is going to change everything.”

I just blink at him the same way that Talina blinked at me earlier. It’s a blink of utter confusion with a healthy sprinkling of instantaneous understanding. Because Ostanes’ words come back to me in this moment. The curse has not been lifted, but the boundaries have shifted.

She wanted me to tell Pell that. And I did. And we both thought it was about him. How he could now leave the sanctuary as a man instead of a monster. Which is super-handy and nice, especially since I grew hooves and horns.

So we thought that little remark was all about him.

But what if it was about both of us?

I can leave too. I can live in a whole other world. Be a whole other person. I might not even have to go back. I could stay here and be this princess.

It’s a wild thought.

But it’s confirmed when Tarq says, “You belong here, Pie. You were made here. In this world. Not back there in that world. And if you want to stay here, there is a life for you. A very nice life for you.”

I’m shaking my head as he talks. “I don’t know what that means. What life?” I pan my hands to the room. “I’m not this person. I can’t do this stuff, Tarq. And as far as this princess shit goes—” I have to stop and scoff. “I’m no princess.”

“Regardless. The offer is real and so is the choice.”

“Who the fuck are you? Huh? Who are you, Tarq? What is your business in all of this? Why did you buy my debt? And, furthermore, who the hell did you buy it from?”

“All good questions. But the story is so complicated—”