Savage Saints (Monsters of Saint Mark's)

She is used to it.

A spelling haiku, by Pie Vita.

I write it down in the notebook with a satisfied smile. And ya know what? I was just about to do the sitting monkey walk when it occurred to me that I don’t need friends here. I have tons of friends at my real home. I have Pell and Tomas, of course. But I also have Eyebrows, and Cookie, and Batty is a little bit weird, but he shows up to see me off to work every day. I don’t know why he gives me rocks, but even if he turns out to be even weirder than I am, there are forty-seven other monsters who probably want to be my friend.

So fuck it.

I can dream up spelling haikus. And it did start with A. So. Yeah.

I wilt. And my shoulders drop. And yep, I do the sitting monkey walk. Because who am I kidding? My spell is stupid and doesn’t even have a purpose—except maybe to bring me down.

“Shit. Is that a thing?” I quickly rub my arm across the page, smudging the charcoal words. “Pie, you need to be more careful. If intentions are the mother of outcomes—or something—then you should not be writing negative thoughts in this notebook.”

I don’t want to be the girl with no friends who is used to it.

And just as I think that, Pia flies into the room and lands on the table in front of me. “Pie,” she squeaks. “Good morning! Did you have a nice sleep?”

“Hmmm.” I get a warm, dreamy feeling as I think about last night with Pell. That was nice. “Yes,” I say. “I did. How about you? How’s your new place?”

“I love it. Love, love, love it. My neighbors are amazing. We were up to the wee hours of the night chittering and chattering about this and that.”

“That’s great. I’m so glad you’re happy here.”

She hops up onto my arm, then walks up it. “You’re sad about something?”

“Nope. I’m not. I have nothing to be sad about. I have a great man, I have a great job, and I have a great home. Not to mention dozens of friends. I don’t need Talina and her amazing in-girl group.”

“Aww,” Pia sighs. “It’s happening again, isn’t it?”

“Yeeesss,” I whine. I let out a long breath too. Because it’s no use lying to Pia. She’s me. And even though she’s less me than she used to be, she’s been with me since I was a tiny girl and understands perfectly well that I am the oddball weirdo who always gets shunned. “It’s happening, Pia. Talina was so cool yesterday. But today, I dunno. She sees the weird in me. No matter how hard I try, I can’t ever completely cover it up.”

“Well, if she’s gonna be a bitch like that, then she’s not the friend for you. She’s a coworker and nothing else.”

“Yeah.” I try to sound like I’m OK with this, but I can’t really muster up the enthusiasm to pull it off. “It’s just… her little group of friends seemed perfect for me.”

“If they don’t like you, Pie, they’re not the perfect group of friends for you.”

“I know.” I resume my sitting monkey walk.

“Anyway. I came here to invite you to a party.”

“A party!” I perk up a little.

“Yes. There is a very big-deal party happening at the palace in a couple days.”

“Oh.” I moan again. “No. I’m not going to the stupid palace. These people think I’m some sort of princess, Pia. I don’t want to encourage that line of thinking.”

“Yes. I’ve heard the chatter.”

“What chatter?”

“There’s a rumor going around that the long-lost princess has returned. I was hoping it wasn’t you, but… it’s you, isn’t it?”

I apathetically raise my hand. “It’s me.”

“Well, then I agree. You should not come to the palace party.” She hops off my arm and lands on my notebook. “What are you working on?”

“Spelling poems. Talina says you do magic with words and I’m supposed to write one.”