Maniacs (Depraved Sinners 4)

“Shhhhhh,” Roman soothes, wiping at a tear. “You don’t have to explain yourself to us. We would have done exactly the same thing had you been in our position. You are our number one priority. We love you, Shayne, like that deep gut-wrenching type of love that is definitely going to kill us one day. We know you’d save us even if it meant giving up your own life because we would do the same fucking thing for you.”

He presses his lips back to my temple, and I take a few calming breaths, letting my heart slow once again. Closing my eyes, I try to focus. “He shoved me in a car and I was sent back to the castle. The driver dragged me back inside, and I swear, I tried to fight it. I tried to get away, but the dress and his size … I just … I couldn’t. He took me back up the stairs and forced a pill down my throat and then walked away.”

A chill sails down my throat, remembering the feel of the guard on top of me, forcing the pill into my mouth and then pouring the water. “The second he left, I ran into the bathroom to throw it up, but by the time I came out, your father was already there and the pill … I don’t know what it was, but I was already dizzy and my muscles … I couldn’t control myself. I fell and your father grabbed me by my hair and dragged me to the bed.”

Tears fall down my face, staining my shirt as my voice breaks, the pain quickly catching up to me. “I tried to fight him off, I swear. He cut my contraceptive rod out of my arm and was talking shit about how easily he’d taken Felicity and—”

I cut myself off. There’s no point in telling the rest. They know what happened.

Levi meets my stare and pushes off the opposite wall, walking into me. Marcus and Roman inch aside and I fall into his strong chest, closing my eyes as his arms curl around me. “You got out of there, Shayne. That’s all that matters. You survived to tell your story and now, you get to be the one who destroys him.”

19

The deeper into the mansion we go, the more we find that survived the blazing fire. There are cars in the underground garage left completely untouched, a fully stocked kitchen, bedrooms and living areas. If this mansion had been smaller, maybe it wouldn’t have lived to tell the story, but as it is, there’s enough room for us to lay low and piece together a plan to destroy Giovanni DeAngelis… and hell, if that plan just happens to fuck with Gia too, then I’m good with that.

Naturally, the power to the mansion is about as fucked as Giovanni is going to be, but as long as we have food and water, then we’re going to be just fine. Though, I’m not going to lie, the fully loaded armory that survived the fire is also a bonus.

We sit in a dark living room with a blanket over my lap as I curl into Marcus’ side on the couch. Levi disappeared to the only surviving kitchen ten minutes ago, while Roman has been searching the mansion for some kind of lighter or matches to start the fire in front of us.

It’s a cold night, and while we could each go to separate bedrooms, all of which look as though they’ve never been lived in, the thought of being separated right now doesn’t sit well with me. Despite us basically living on top of each other for the past few days, I still can’t bear to let them out of my sight. So, a living room couch slumber party it is.

Marcus scoots down on the oversized couch, adjusting the thick blanket over his lap as his fingers draw small circles on my shoulder. “You good?” he murmurs, turning his face into me and pressing his lips against my head in a lingering kiss.

I smash my lips into a tight line and snuggle deeper into his side. It’s only been an hour since the four of us stood in the charred hallway and I spilled my deepest shame, and since then, the boys haven’t left me alone for even a second. One of them has always been with me, holding me, watching me, checking that I’m not about to break.

“I’m alright,” I murmur, my gaze shifting to the massive fireplace directly in front of us, finding it easier to relax in this darkness. “I just … I wish you guys didn’t have to know all of that. It makes me feel … I don’t know, kinda dirty.”

His body tightens beneath mine, and without hesitation, Marcus grabs me and sets me down over his thick thighs so he can stare right into my eyes. “You listen to me, Shayne Mariano,” he demands, gripping my chin and holding my stare as my hands fall to his waist, knotting into the soft fabric of his shirt. “You are a lot of things. When we first took you, you were innocent—”

“Innocent?” I scoff, cutting him off. “I was hardly innocent. I let you chain me up and fuck me with the handle of a knife, and if I recall correctly, I was begging for more. That hardly screams innocent.”

Marcus grins. “No, you’re right. You definitely weren’t innocent, but you were sure as fuck a different, softer version of this woman you are now. You’ve been through hell, and yes, some of that was at our hands. You’ve got scars no woman should have to bear and the kind of nightmares that would scare even the devil himself. You’re fierce, loyal, destructive, and fucking gorgeous in every possible way. Me and my brothers have never been so lucky to have stumbled upon you. You’ve made us whole again and given us a purpose when we were on the cusp of giving up. You are a lot of things, but dirty is not one of them.”

I glance away, his words equally spreading warmth through me while also making me feel cold and empty. “I am,” I insist, taking his hand and placing it on my thigh. “When you touch me here, all I picture is his hand. When you lean into me, I remember the feel of his body against mine. I'm so scared that when I finally feel you inside of me again, I know exactly what’s going to go through my head, and nothing can take that dirty feeling away. I know you don’t see me that way, none of you do, but I can’t help feeling it. When I’m with you guys, I’m willingly handing my body over, but with him … he stole it and abused it as though he had every right, and the body I received back doesn’t feel like my own … not anymore.”

Marcus trails his fingers over the side of my face, pushing my hair back before I lean into his touch, wishing there were some way for him to strip me of that pain.

Tears threaten to spill as I lift my gaze and meet his stare once again. “I don’t know how I’m ever going to be able to give myself to you guys again without feeling … that.”

Marcus’ hand slips lower on my face before curling around the back of my neck and pulling me down to him. He’s gentle and gives me the chance to pull away if I need it. But I go because being close to him, being close to any of them, is the only thing keeping me from falling apart.

My hands brace against his strong chest as my forehead comes down on his. “You know I love you, right?” he questions. “You are my whole fucking world. There’s not a goddamn thing I wouldn’t do to make you happy. I will do whatever it takes to help you feel comfortable in your own skin again. If that means not touching you, or sleeping in different beds, then I’ll do it. Just say the word, babe. I’m not going to push you, and you need to know that Roman and Levi won’t either. The ball is in your court, and we don’t want you being afraid to speak up about what you need because you’re too caught up worrying about what we want. Do you understand me, Shayne? All we want in this whole fucking world is to see you rise like a phoenix and get everything you deserve and more.”

A soft sigh escapes and I raise my chin just a bit to feel my lips resting against his. I kiss him softly, his words meaning more to me than he will ever know. “I love you, too,” I murmur, my lips moving against his.

A silent moment passes between us, each of us simply living in the moment of being in each other’s arms until I finally push back up onto his thighs. My eyes remain on his as Roman walks back into the room, heading straight for the fireplace and giving us our moment together. “What about you?” I ask him. “That was a lot of moving around we did today. That sprint up the stairs and to the storage facility couldn’t have been easy on you.”

Marcus shrugs a shoulder, his hand still on my thigh as he moves his thumb back and forth. “I’m fine, babe. Nothing a few days with you in my arms won’t fix.”

A grin tears across my face, and I quickly shake my head. “Don’t even try to butter me up with that bullshit, Marcus DeAngelis. I just spent three days locked in a bunker with you. I know when you’re trying to distract me.” His eyes darken just a bit and I raise my brow. “What’s wrong?”

He lets out a sigh and reluctantly pulls up his shirt, showing me the angry redness spreading around his wound and the dried blood from where he tore his stitches during our frantic run. “Shit,” I gasp as Roman works on the fireplace behind me. I drop my fingers to the angry swelling and gently prod at it, hating the way Marcus hisses under the pressure. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

Marc gives me a look that suggests I should be able to figure this one out on my own, but I simply stare right back, forcing him to say the words out loud just to hear how ridiculous they sound.

He lets out a sigh and peers down at the wound. “What can I say, babe? You will always come first.”

Rolling my eyes, I let out a heavy breath and peer toward the entrance of the massive living room, but with no sign of Levi, I turn back and take in Roman who has a warm fire steadily building. “Have you seen Levi?” I ask. “Marc—”