Screwed (V-Card Diaries 2)

“And a steak dinner,” Mom says, snatching me up on my way to Dad and squeezing me so tight I grunt, then start to giggle as she wiggles her fingers into my ribs. “You’re too skinny again. Donald, tell her she’s too skinny. If she gets the flu at this weight, she’ll end up in the hospital.”

“I’m not going to get the flu,” I assure her. “I hardly ever leave the house and wash my hands all the time.”

“See, she’s not going to get the flu. And she looks great. Prettiest girl in the tristate area,” Dad says, hugging me just as tight before pressing a kiss to the top of my head. “How was the train ride, Wiggle?”

“Dad, no,” I say, as I pull away from his embrace. “You can’t call me that anymore. I’m serious.”

“She’s serious, Donald,” Mom says, slapping him lightly on the arm. “It makes her have to pee when you call her that. And it brings back bad memories.”

“Not for me,” Gram pipes up in that softer, weaker voice that still sounds strange emerging from my once loud and sassy grandmother. “I love those memories. You were such a cutie as a little one, always waiting until the last minute to go. You didn’t want to miss out on a moment of the fun.”

I roll my eyes with a laugh. “Thanks, but I mastered toileting a good twenty-two years ago, so I think it’s okay to let the nickname go.” I bend down, wrapping my arms around her shoulders for a gentle hug. “How are you, Gram? How was the drive?”

“Not too bad,” Gram says, rubbing her hand in a circle on my back the way she has since I was that wiggly little girl who never wanted to take a bathroom break. “Your dad’s still the best at beating the speed traps and we stopped for donuts on the way. We brought enough for you and all the kids and grandkids to share around the fire this afternoon.” She squints up at me as I pull away, her smile widening as she wags a finger at my face. “But I think you’ve got something more exciting to share than donuts. You have good news, don’t you? I know that sparkle in your eyes, Harlow Renee.”

“Maybe,” I say with what I hope is a casual shrug. “But I’m not spilling anything until dinner tonight. But in the meantime, I’d love to take you on our annual tour. It’s tradition, after all.”

Gram beams. “Of course. We have to do our inventory. See what’s changed and what’s stayed the same and if Leonard is still working at the arcade.”

“You mean your vacation boyfriend?” I tease.

Gram giggles and waves a chastising hand my way. “Oh, stop. He’s a good twenty years younger than I am, silly. Leonard and I are just old friends who both enjoy jazz and woodcrafts.”

“Right,” I say with a nod. “Whatever you say. But you still want me to leave you guys alone while I fake a bathroom emergency, right?”

“Does a bear poo in the woods?” Gram asks, making Mom laugh.

“All right. We’ll leave you two to your adventure.” My father pats me on the shoulder as he moves out from behind Gram’s chair. “Just keep your phone on, honey, and I’ll text you the room numbers once we get it all sorted out.”

“Got it,” I say, figuring the news that I’ll be staying with my fiancé can wait until later.

Or maybe it can wait…period.

Now that Gram’s right here in front of me, looking up at me with her tired, but oh-so-sweet and trusting blue eyes, I feel terrible about lying to her, even if it is a lie designed to give her peace and make her happy.

As my parents start for the group check-in office on the other side of the empty dining hall—it’s too late for lunch and too early for dinner, but the smell of something hearty drifts from the kitchen, promising a delicious end to the day—I grip the handles of Gram’s chair and start plotting a way out.

It won’t be hard. I’ll just text Derrick, tell him the fake fiancé plan is off and that I’ll be staying with my sister and her screechy little darlings, after all.

It’s probably for the best, anyway. We’re only a few hours into this scheme and I’m already looking for excuses to sleep with Derrick. If we go through with it, the chances that I’m leaving here a virgin are slim to none.

And while a part of me is totally down with that, the part of me that’s waited this long for the perfect first peen says Derrick’s isn’t the one.

I’ve spent years calling him Satan, but in truth he’s actually not all that bad. He’s smart, sexy, funny, and can be really sweet when he wants to be. He proved that with the Hepburn nickname and the way he changed his ways after our fight last fall, when I warned that he was going to lose Evie if he didn’t allow their relationship to evolve.