Screwed (V-Card Diaries 2)

It’s because I want to be with Derrick. I want to spend more time talking, laughing, and just hanging out with him. And those kisses like the ones this morning…

They were the sweetest, sexiest kisses I’ve ever had. And even though I know any make-out session that sends my heart into giddy cartwheels is probably a bad idea, I can’t help it, I want more.

But when we get back to the room, Derrick is all business. We work on the flash cards over glasses of wine, watch a sitcom about nerds who are supposed to be undesirable but are still getting way more action in the bedroom than I am, and then Derrick yawns and excuses himself to bed, citing exhaustion from the night before.

After his door is closed and all the lights are off in his room, I lie awake on the fold-out bed for hours, silently replaying the moment he scooped me up from the floor and onto his lap roughly a hundred thousand times.

I’ve never felt so turned on and safe and grateful all at the same time.

It’s dangerous, I tell myself.

I should stop thinking about it and get my own room tomorrow. I’m on a student’s budget, but I have money saved up from the tutoring I’ve done on the side. And you can’t put a price tag on avoiding First Dick Fever.

I’ll charge a solo space to my nearly maxed-out credit card if I have to.

Or so I tell myself as I drift off into an uneasy, sexy-dreams-of-Derrick-plagued sleep.

* * *

But when I wake up on Monday, I don’t head downstairs to the front desk.

I let Derrick talk me into grabbing bagels at the café in the lobby and taking them up to the roof, where we huddle in our coats and watch the sun rise over the mountains.

We barely say a word, but I know it’s a memory I won’t soon forget.

And the rest of the day seems determined to follow suit.

The small faction of the family that enjoys physical activity in the great outdoors joins Derrick and me for a cross-country skiing adventure, including my little niece, Kiki, who apologizes again for cutting my hair. Then she gifts me a beaded friendship bracelet she made last night as a peace offering. I give her a big hug, tell her I actually love my new hair—but that she should never, ever cut someone’s hair without permission again—and we ski off, side by side, all the angst of yesterday forgotten.

Even Lauren seems to be in a great mood. Mom and Dad are watching Kelly and Keith and she’s free to zip down the trail at top speed, proving she’s still as fit as she was back when she was running track in high school.

“She really is pretty amazing,” I say to Derrick as we stop for water, coffee, and hot chocolate at a fire pit and refreshment stand halfway through our adventure. “Three kids and she basically runs Chuck’s business from home and she still manages to stay in incredible shape and keep her house spotless and gorgeous at all times.”

“You Raine girls are overachievers for sure. Impressive all around,” he says, pressing a kiss to my forehead that sends warmth rushing across my skin.

I try to blame the coffee—that’s why I’m suddenly hot all over—but I know better.

* * *

I also know that Derrick is probably deliberately keeping things platonic when we’re alone, giving me space and the chance to come to him if I decide I’m interested in being more than friends, but by Wednesday morning I’m starting to go a little crazy.

I lie in bed, tingling and aching all over, wishing I’d brought my vibrator so I could at least take the edge off a little.

But Derrick’s no fool. If he heard buzzing sounds coming from the bathroom, he’d know exactly what I was up to in there, and I’d be mortified.

Maybe I should just…tell him that I want to kiss him in private and go from there. It wouldn’t have to be a relationship or dating or anything scary. We could just be two friends enjoying some benefits on vacation.

I’ve nearly worked up the courage to knock on his door and ask if I can crawl into bed with him, when he emerges from the bedroom and throws open the curtains, revealing an already bright, sunny day outside. “Up and at ’em, Hepburn. I’ve got a surprise for you this morning.”

I wince and lift a hand to shield my eyes from the glare reflecting off the snowdrifts. “I don’t like surprises,” I say, cranky for some reason.

Probably because he unwittingly foiled my plan to crawl between the covers with him and rub all over his gorgeous body like a cat in heat.

God…I need some relief or I’m going to lose my fucking mind.