Screwed (V-Card Diaries 2)

Derrick: You’ve broken me, Hepburn. I can’t get visions of your sexy naked self out of my head.

Harlow: *naughty smile emoji* Good. Because your cock has been dancing through mine all morning.

Derrick: Yeah? What kind of dance? A cha-cha? A waltz? That bouncy one with the arm flaps that went viral on social media?

Harlow: Definitely not the last one. I hate to break it to you, baby, but your cock doesn’t have arms.

Derrick: I like it when you call me baby. It makes me feel delicate, safe, and protected.

Harlow: Good, that’s what I was going for. Now stop thinking about sex and go rock that interview. I’ll just be here touching myself in the shower for an hour or so before I meet Mom, Dad, and Gram for a late brunch.

Derrick: Fuck. Are you doing it right now? Send me a picture. I want to see.

Harlow: How have men stayed in charge of most of the world for centuries? When you are literally incapable of focusing on anything but sex for longer than ten minutes?

Derrick: Says the woman who’s jerking off as she types that text.

Harlow: I’m not jerking off. I’m playing with my nipples and thinking about how good your five o’clock shadow felt on them last night and considering asking you to grow a beard. I think I’d like a beard tickling my thighs while you do that sucking thing and the tongue thing at the same time. What do you call that move? It’s bonkers amazing.

Derrick: I don’t have a name for it, but any chance of getting this hard-on under control before I head inside is now off the table. I’ll just have to hide behind my coat and hope for the best.

Harlow: You’re welcome. *smiley face emoji*

Derrick: Evil. You’re evil.

Harlow: And you love it. *blowing kiss emoji*

I slip my phone into my briefcase with a smile.

I do love it. I love her sass and her quick wit and her eagerness to make up for lost time in the bedroom.

I suspect I love a lot more than that, but I’m not going to think about that now. I’m going to rock this interview, then head back to the resort and rock Harlow’s world and leave worries about what’s going to happen to my defenseless heart for later.

If, come Saturday morning, she’s had enough of me and wants to go back to being friends…

Well, I’ll worry about that when it happens. Until then, I’m going to enjoy the time I have with her and put in the effort to prove I’m invested—and not just in delivering orgasms. I want to deliver other things, too. Like laughs and fun and someone she can trust to have her back.

Which gives me an idea…

I shoot off a quick text to Evie on my way into the lobby of the building, then turn off my phone to concentrate on a very different kind of seduction.

Thankfully, wooing potential employers is a lot easier than wooing a potential partner. I know what these stressed-out executives want, and I deliver, wowing them with my PowerPoint presentation and binder full of charts, detailing all the ways I’d love to take their struggling franchise and make it a centerpiece of their community. By the time I’ve outlined my plan for a fundraising fantasy camp for adults and free lessons for at-risk youth, the entire board is nodding along.

So, I’m not really surprised when one of the co-owners pulls me aside after my presentation to assure me a job offer will be forthcoming. I’m grateful—not knowing where I’m headed next has been stressful—but not surprised. From the moment I walked into the offices, I felt like I was in a warm, open-minded environment where my unique skill set could make a real difference.

And then I get outside and check my phone to find a text from Evie.

Evie: Harlow’s favorite board game is chess, obviously. Because she’s smarter than all of us put together and enjoys crushing her enemies in ways they never see coming until it’s too late. Why?

Derrick: The resort is having a board game tournament tonight. I wanted to make sure I picked games she wasn’t good at; in case we end up going head-to-head in the finals. I have my eye on that trophy with the Shufflebottoms’ bear on top. The person who wins the most categories, lands the prize.

Evie: Sounds fun! And I’d recommend you pick games of chance, then. If a game has anything to do with strategy or analytical thinking, she’s going to kick your ass. No offense. You’re smart, just not as smart as Harlow.

Derrick: LOL. Agreed. And thanks for the tip.

Evie: No problem. I’m just so glad you two haven’t killed each other yet. It’s inspiring. Maybe you’ll become besties someday, after all! Or at least stop shooting daggers at each other with your eyeballs.