Fix You

“I’m not worth it.”

His voice was little more than a whisper. “You’re more than worth it, this will never be over.”

Walking over to him, she wrapped her thin arms around his waist, pressing the side of her face into his chest, unsure which of them was shaking more. Tilting her chin to look at his face, she watched the tears streaking his cheeks, mirroring her own, and she stood on her tiptoes to brush her lips to his mouth.

Falling back on her heels, she walked over and picked up her bag, pulling the strap over her shoulder as she made her way to the front door.

She couldn’t look at him again, knowing that to see his expression would change her mind. Instead, she closed her eyes, keeping her hand on the door handle as she swung it open, waiting for the creaking sound to stop to make sure he could hear her.

“I’m so sorry, Richard.”

Fourteen

March 4th 2006

“Are you sure you want to do this?” Richard looked his stepbrother straight in the eye, searching for any sign he was wavering. Daniel lifted a glass to his mouth with shaking hands, his lips twitching as he swallowed. Over the past year, his nervous tics had increased; now Richard wasn’t sure what movements were intended and what weren’t.

“I don’t want to be part of it anymore; I can’t even walk into the building. Heck, I can’t even be in Manhattan without having a panic attack.” Daniel’s batophobia had started suddenly, after he had left rehab and attempted to stay clean. The first time he had tried to walk into the Maxwell Enterprises lobby, he’d collapsed on the ground and been taken away by ambulance.

It was almost impossible to live in Manhattan when you had a gripping fear of tall buildings.

“What are you going to do with all that money?” Richard asked.

“I’m going to find somewhere with low buildings and constant sun.” Daniel gave the merest hint of a smile.

“That narrows it down,” Richard had to remind himself that his stepbrother was nearly 23. They had agreed to meet at the Stone Creek Inn on East Quogue, not far from the house Daniel had inherited from his father in the Hamptons. He stayed there intermittently, preferring it to the terrifying trips to Manhattan, although now he had also put this residence up for sale, along with his part of the company.

The rest of the time, Daniel flitted from place to place, staying with friends and acquaintances long enough to wear out his welcome. His drug taking seemed to be irregular although he had already had one stint in rehab this year.

“I want to travel for a while first, see what’s out there. I’m not even sure I want to live in America anymore.”

“What does your girlfriend think of that?” Richard couldn’t remember her name. They tended to change on a monthly basis and were pretty interchangeable: blonde, statuesque, and happy to accept the gifts Daniel lavished on them.

“Marie and I split up. She started talking about engagement rings and buying a house together.” Daniel shuddered visibly. “I suddenly saw my whole life flash before my eyes.”

Richard remained silent, trying not to think as a result of Daniel’s decision, the one who was going to end up like Leon Maxwell was Richard himself.

The avocado salad was well dressed, and they both cleared their plates pretty quickly. Daniel grabbed a roll and smeared it with butter before stuffing it in his mouth.

“Talking of ex-girlfriends, have you heard from Hanna?”

This time it was Richard who took a huge mouthful of wine before placing his glass back down on the crisp, white tablecloth. “Ruby tells me she’s still travelling.”

It wasn’t a lie, but it wasn’t the full truth, either.

“Does she ever contact you?”

“Not really.”

“Maybe I’ll bump into her while I’m travelling, too.” Daniel looked up as the waitress served their main courses, his eyes lighting up at the sight of his steak. “That would be neat.”

Richard coughed, nearly spitting his wine out in the process. He wasn’t sure if the tears it brought to his eyes were from the choking or irritation.

“It’s a big world, Daniel. I’m pretty sure it would be like finding a needle in a haystack.” He couldn’t keep the sarcasm out of his voice.

“It would be fun, though. I miss her. She was one of the few people I looked forward to seeing when I was stuck in rehab.”

“She visited you twice, three times max. I was there every week.” The corner of Richard’s mouth turned up a little.