Easton

“Yes. The guys don’t know about her. I didn’t want to tell them anything of what I experienced those three weeks. They sent me there to get over you, and during that time, it was where I realized, I didn’t need to. I didn’t want you to die, Carla, but I also knew that I didn’t love you. I didn’t even know what love was.”

“You can’t keep living in the past.”

He snorted.

“Here I am, talking to you, and you’re not even real. I don’t know what the hell to do anymore. I’m twenty-nine years old and a fuck-up. How did it get like this?” he asked.

“I’d say you spent too much time moaning about what has happened. This isn’t you, and you need to stop feeling guilty for stuff you can’t control. Who cares if you hate that Axton is right all the time? Who cares that you’re in here? You’re in here, and you know what? It means you can have a second chance. There are not that many people who get this chance and you have it. Stop wasting it.”

“It’s not that simple.”

Carla sighed. “It is. You’ve just got to stop looking for excuses not to believe in yourself. You’re not a bad guy, Easton.”

He closed his eyes. “I’m not a bad guy you say. You’re not even real.” He opened his eyes and there was no Carla. “I’m talking to myself in my own room, all alone. Carla died over ten years ago. Right now, I’m the biggest fuck-up in the world.”

Staring up at the ceiling, he thought about her. The way her blonde hair fluttered out from behind her as he chased her. They would run down to the beach every single day, and he’d pick her up in his arms, spinning her around in the air.

Her smile always captured his heart so that he didn’t want to let her go. The reality was, his time with Scarlett was limited.

He’d thought about her many times over the years. Each time wondering if he should reach out, apologize for what he’d said to her on that last day.

Every chance he had at happiness, he’d messed it up in one way or another.

This was his second chance.

No more alcohol.

No more toxicity in his life.

There was a chance he could do this.

Rather than blow this opportunity, he could finally get clean, not rely on the drink or the women. To finally have a clean slate where his own father wouldn’t have a chance of ruining him.

The idea seemed a little too good to be true, but he had to do something.

He was dying, and even though he’d tried to take his own life, to finish the endless pain and suffering, he couldn’t do it. Did it make him a coward? He didn’t know.

Life wasn’t supposed to be like this, and it hurt to know he couldn’t seem to catch a single break.

This wasn’t going to be his end.

He was going to make this work even if it was the last good thing he did.

Chapter Three

One month later

Sitting outside in the garden of the rehabilitation center, Easton felt … different. He’d stayed longer than Axton’s one-month request. Only a couple more weeks, and he’d finally discharged himself. His bags were packed, and he was ready to go. The same old life was waiting for him back in the city. His job secured in the Four Kings. The only thing that had changed was he was no longer full of alcohol.

There wasn’t even any need for it.

He wasn’t yearning for a single drop of whiskey or the body of a willing woman. His life was suddenly his own.

“You did it,” Carla said, appearing in front of him.

Even as he gave up all of the booze, he couldn’t seem to stop bringing her back. He knew he wasn’t crazy. Carla was dead. She wasn’t here, but he’d thought her up, and in his mind, he saw her, so clearly.

“I’m getting out. I’m waiting for Axton to pick me up.”

“You’re ready?”

“There’s no reason for me to stay here.”

“Good. I’m glad.”

“You’re not real.”

“I’m as real as you make me, Easton. You’re me, and I’m you. We’re one and the same. I guess I’m the voice that you refuse to listen to. Whatever you need I guess.” She winked at him, getting up from her position on the floor. “Are you going to go and see her?”

“No. I didn’t know her last name, and I’m not going to hold onto a past that has no chance of a future. What happened, happened. I’m not going to drag myself down.”

She stepped toward him.

He didn’t even attempt to reach out to her. There was no point. She wasn’t there.

“You should find her. What you did all those years ago was stupid.”

“I’m not going to do anything like that.”