Harley (Cerberus MC)

I busy myself by unpacking my things into the small dresser in the guest bedroom and programming the numbers Misty left into my phone.

When I order Door Dash for dinner, I get enough for Boomer as well, texting him to come get it after leaving it on the porch for him. I laugh when he texts a thank you and a picture of his burger missing a huge bite.

Chapter 4

Harley

Not sleeping well last night isn’t helping my mood. Granted, I haven’t slept well since losing Lana, but last night was even worse than it normally is, not counting those first couple of weeks where I stayed awake with my eyes locked on Aria’s sleeping form, making sure her chest continued to rise and fall.

I hate that I’m taking my little girl back to the daycare, not because I think she’s in any danger, but because I’m not working today. I shouldn’t want time alone. I shouldn’t leave her with people who aren’t me so I can take a few deep breaths.

As I pick her up out of the swing, I make a list of things I can do that wouldn’t be smart to take a child to, but the list is small because I did the exact same thing yesterday.

“There’s Aria,” Apollo says in a baby voice that should make him seem a little silly, but somehow it doesn’t. “Say hi.”

Apollo lifts Nate’s arm and waves it in our direction.

“Good morning,” I tell him, not returning his wave with Aria’s arm.

She sees Nate and squeals like she actually missed the other baby.

“See?” my friend says with a grin. “They missed each other.”

“I guess,” I mutter, spotting Ali across the daycare and wanting to turn right back around without dropping Aria off.

“Have you met her yet? She’s super nice, but a little skittish,” Apollo says as he walks in beside me.

We stop just inside the room. Well, I stop and he sticks to my side as if I’m a scared kid going to school for the first time.

“We met.”

“She must’ve met this grumpy side of you with the way she darted her eyes away when she just looked over here.”

“She was—” I shake my head. “I didn’t give her the best first impression.”

Honestly, I couldn’t stop thinking about my rudeness yesterday toward her. I’m not that guy. Or at least I wasn’t until recently. I’d go out of my way to make a great impression on people, and most often it was genuine. I was the type of man who wanted people to like him. I was also married to an amazing woman, so things can easily change. The world is fucked up like that.

“Well, be nice and don’t run her off. Little Nate likes her, and April is napping.”

“Little Nate likes anyone who will give his chubby ass a bottle,” I quip, but there’s no malice in my tone.

“He’s a growing boy,” Apollo says with a smile. “Besides, April mostly breastfeeds, and I can’t blame the boy for wanting some of—ah fuck, I mean shoot. I’m sorry, man. I didn’t mean to—”

“You don’t have to feel guilty for talking about your wife, man. Honestly, curbing those conversations make it worse. I’m good.”

I’m so far from good right now, anytime actually, but I was being honest about people not talking about certain things because I’m in the room. I don’t want people to change because I’m the sorry fucker who lost his wife in a tragic accident.

“Okay,” he says, but his eyes dart away when I look at him.

“Hi there,” Ali says as she walks up. “Dropping off?”

“Yes. I have a ton of things to get done in the garage. April is sleeping, and Harley is dropping off because I promised him a beer if he helped me.”

No such conversation happened, but I’m glad he’s giving me a real reason to drop Aria off. It lessens the guilt a little.

“He missed you,” Apollo says as he holds Nate out to her.

I know this is another way for him to give me a reprieve since he already noticed Ali’s reaction when I walked into the room.

“And I missed him,” she says, smiling down at the baby before looking up at me. “Good morning, Harley. Give me just a second to get this little guy settled and I’ll come back and grab Aria.”

My sweet angel, although squealing and excited mere moments ago, is already dozing in my arms, and that was planned in a way. I know she takes a nap at this time in the morning and her being asleep helps with the shame I feel about bringing her in here in the first place.

“I can lay her down.”

I leave Apollo standing in the middle of the room and follow Ali to the row of cribs on the far side of the room. I don’t say a word to the woman as she lowers Nate into a crib and I do the same with Aria.