Before the Dawn

10

SAM

‘Sorry!’ I said. ‘I couldn’t get away.’

‘Oh, don’t worry, I was late too – I thought you’d been and gone.’ Ruby was smiling; I was grinning like a loon, relieved she hadn’t given up and gone.

‘Well, we’re here now, I guess. So you got my message? I was scared you wouldn’t understand it, or it’d fall into enemy hands.’

She grinned again. ‘That was very clever of you.’

‘It’s all that army training.’

‘Really? Do they teach you things like that?’

‘Nah.’ I laughed at her serious expression. ‘My little sister and I – we went through a phase of writing notes in code when I was younger. Just a dumb game, really – it helped keep her busy when—’

I trailed off, my grin fading as I remembered the elaborate distractions I used to create to keep Meggie out of the way when Kirk was laying into Ma. I’d never been sure who needed them more – her or me. Now, there was no one to distract her.

Don’t think about that.

‘This place is incredible,’ I said, tilting my head back to look up at the roof of the cave, arching high above us. ‘You could live in here.’

We went a little further into the cave to get out of the wind, and that little dog – Toffee, wasn’t he called? – came running in. He bounded up to me, tail wagging, and I had to fend off a shower of licks. A few seconds later he heard something and was off outside again.

Ruby and I sat down on some rocks that had been worn smooth by the tide. All of a sudden, I was positively tongue-tied. I had no idea why; it had been so easy to talk to her at the dance. Here, we were completely on our own, and it felt different, somehow.

‘There’s gonna be another dance next weekend,’ I said at last. ‘D’you think you can come?’

‘Oh, I’d love that!’ Ruby smiled again. Then her face fell a little. ‘That’s if I can get away, of course.’

‘Your pa being difficult?’

She gazed at her feet. ‘He’s not difficult, exactly. It’s just – oh, I don’t know. I didn’t exactly tell him where I was last Saturday. I pretended I was somewhere else. I don’t know why I lied to him. No, of course I do. It’s because he’s got such a – a grudge against anything and anybody American and he’d go absolutely mad if he knew I was here with you. But I’m not sure he’ll believe me if I say the same thing again.’

I let out a low whistle. ‘That sounds hard. Why does he hate Americans so much?’

She gave a strained little laugh. ‘That’s just it. I honestly have no idea. I mean, there’s stories in the paper every now and then about GIs getting drunk and starting brawls or breaking shop windows, but that’s not exactly exclusive to Americans, is it? And I suppose there’s all the uproar about Jennie Pearson, but Father was against the Americans before all that happened—’

‘Who’s Jennie Pearson?’

‘A girl I used to go to school with. She was seeing a soldier up at the camp and, well…’ She flushed. ‘Let’s just say she got herself in a spot of bother, and instead of marrying her like he should have done, the soldier’s dropped her like a hot potato. I feel awfully sorry for her – he’s got away scot-free while she’s being gossiped about all over town.’

‘Well, I’m pretty sure that sorta thing ain’t exclusive to Americans either,’ I said drily.

‘Oh, you don’t need to tell me that! But it’s not exactly helped change Father’s mind.’

‘Well, I guess. But even if he did find out about us he can’t stop you seeing me, right? I mean, you’re what? Twenty?’

She made a face. ‘He is not going to find out about us. And, goodness me, no. Nowhere near. I just turned nineteen.’

‘Really? When?’

‘Last Sunday.’

‘So it was your birthday the day after the dance? You shoulda said!’

She shrugged. ‘It doesn’t matter. It’s always a quiet sort of day.’

‘Jeez. I turn eighteen in January and I’m gonna…’

Crap. I shut my mouth with a snap.

Ruby frowned at me. ‘Don’t you already have to be eighteen to join up? Or is that only over here?’

I couldn’t meet her gaze.

‘Sam?’

‘I lied,’ I said. ‘Paid some guy to sign a form saying I was of age. So did my pal Jimmy. Listen, Ruby, you can’t tell anyone – if they find out, I’m done for. They’ll send me back, court-martial me, maybe even throw me in jail. And I need this. Otherwise there’ll be no money to send Ma and Meggie. They’ll starve—’

‘Of course I won’t tell anyone! Why would I? Gosh, Sam, don’t look so worried. Your secret’s safe with me!’

I let out the breath I hadn’t realised I was holding. ‘Thanks.’

She leaned back, crossing her legs and hooking her hands around her knee. I took out my notebook. ‘Stay like that, I wanna draw you,’ I said. There was something about the way she was sitting that had me itching to get her down on the page. A shaft of sunlight was slanting into the cave, making a halo around the edges of her hair.

‘I didn’t know you were an artist,’ she said as I sketched.

‘I’m not. It’s just a – a thing. Don’t you have a thing?’

She frowned, although she didn’t move. ‘A thing?’

‘Like drawing, or music, or writing, or—’

Her frown deepened. ‘I do like to read, I suppose – it’s why I wanted to work at the paper. I thought I might want to be a writer once upon a time, but…’

I sketched the slope of her nose, the tilt of her chin. Toffee reappeared, tail wagging, then rushed off again. I tried to capture him too, a few quick lines in a corner of the page.

‘I used to write poems,’ she continued, haltingly. ‘But I – I showed them to someone and they – they didn’t think they were very good.’

‘What? Who? And who the hell do they think they are?’ The words burst out of me before I could stop them. ‘Sorry. It’s none of my business. But – for real?’

She lifted one shoulder in a tiny shrug. ‘I’m sure he was right. If I was any good, I’d be allowed to write proper stories for the paper, not be consigned to typing up adverts and obituaries. Here – let me see.’ Before I could stop her, she snatched my sketchbook. ‘What do you mean, you’re not an artist? That’s fantastic!’

‘Aw, no.’ As she flicked through the pages, my face grew warm.

‘Oh, I love these!’ She’d reached the pictures I drew for Meggie that day in the barn before I joined up. ‘You should illustrate books!’

Now it was my turn to shrug. ‘One day, maybe.’

‘One day, definitely.’ She handed the sketchbook back to me.

Smiling, still embarrassed, I shoved the sketchbook back in my pocket.

‘What does your mother think about you joining up?’ she said. ‘Doesn’t she worry about you?’

My gaze slid away from hers again. ‘I didn’t tell her, exactly. I mean, she knows now, because I send her a check every time I get paid. That is – I send them to the guy I used to work for and ask him to pass them on. If I sent them to the farm my stepfather’d drink ’em away and not give her a cent.’

‘I’m sorry,’ Ruby said. ‘It must be difficult, being this far away from her.’

I hunched my shoulders. ‘It’s Meggie I worry about. She’s so young, and Ma don’t protect her like she should – she’s too scared of Kirk, I guess. As soon as I’ve got enough dough and they let me go back home, I’m getting them both outta there, and that bas—’ I stopped myself from swearing just in time. ‘That guy can go jump in the Rappahannock River.’

We were silent for a moment, listening to the crashing of the sea. I looked up at the roof of the cave again. ‘You ever wish you were someone else, living a different life?’ I said.

‘Oh, gosh, all the time.’ Ruby’s tone was so vehement, it made me look round at her again. ‘Don’t get me wrong, I love Father,’ she added hastily, her cheeks flushing, ‘but the older I get, the more I feel responsible for him, and it sounds awful but sometimes the thought of looking after him for the rest of my life makes me want to scream. It’s like someone tightening a chain around my neck, just a tiny bit each day.’

I was going to say, What’s he gonna do if you get married? but then I caught sight of my watch. I jumped to my feet. ‘Jeez – I gotta get back.’

I reached down to help Ruby up. As she took my hand, I caught her eye, and suddenly the air between us was crackling with that same electricity I’d felt the first time we met. It was exciting – dangerous – as if anything could happen.

In a blur of ginger fur, Toffee appeared and barged between us, tail wagging frantically. The electric feeling melted away.

‘We’d better leave separately, just in case,’ Ruby said. ‘You go first – I’ll follow. And about the dance, Sam – I don’t know if I can make it. Probably not, to be honest. I’m sorry.’

‘That’s OK. But hey – we can do this again, right?’

One corner of her mouth lifted in a smile as she bent to clip the dog’s leash onto his collar. ‘I don’t see why not. After all, Toffee does need his walks. Especially on Sundays.’

‘Don’t let anyone else look at those adverts first. I’ll send a message as soon as I can.’

Her smile widened into a grin. ‘I won’t.’

‘Oh, and Ruby?’

She looked expectantly at me.

‘Write your poems.’

‘Oh, no, really—’

‘Whoever said you weren’t good enough, screw – I mean, don’t listen to him. Here.’ I took my sketchbook from my pocket again and carefully tore out my drawing. ‘Write me something. I’ll give you this as an advance payment.’

She folded the piece of paper carefully, as if it were a hundred-dollar bill, and slid it into the pocket of her skirt. ‘All right,’ she said. ‘I can’t promise anything, but I’ll try.’