Ringmaster

Thirty-one. Then he must have been a teenager like me when he joined the circus. I wonder what made him leave home and never go back. Maybe his father beat him, too. I feel sad for him, because he seems too nice for anyone to ever do anything horrible to him.

“How’s your eye? Does it hurt?”

A little, but I don’t care. I wrap my arms tighter around Cale. “I’m fine.”

We amble on through the afternoon, and I watch the world slip by at an easy pace. We move through hills and rolling farmland. The laneways are overflowing with pink, white and yellow wildflowers. Barely any cars pass us. Occasionally there’s a tractor, or we have to pause for a flood of sheep which cascade across the road from one field into the next. I feel safe up here. Cale’s horse is much bigger than Dandelion, and I can sense the strength in his muscles beneath the glossy black coat.

I reach behind me to pat the horse’s flank. “What’s his name?”

“Jareth.”

“He’s a lovely horse. I wish I had my horse.” Poor Dandelion. I hope she was able to get far away, otherwise Dad will catch her and probably whip her to get out his anger at me. Tears fill my eyes. She’s as afraid of him as I am. I open my mouth to ask Cale if we can go back and search for her, but what if he does take me back and Dad catches me? Worse, what if Cale leaves me there because he discovers I’m too much bother? If I make some friends at the circus maybe they can help me get her back. I don’t think I can face Dad on my own.

When the sun is sinking over the distant hills, we join a sealed road running down into a village. I spy the dozen circus wagons and even more horses in the field on the far side of the village green, the grassy field by the pub and the church. As we pass the pub, half a dozen pairs of eyes watch us with idle curiosity, the girl with muddy feet and bare legs and the man in black on the beautiful horse. My cheek rests against Cale’s back. I feel safe up here with him.

As we approach the green and I see the faces of the performers, my courage suddenly evaporates. I’m going to have to get down from this high perch and meet people. They’re going to hate me or think I’m stupid, like everyone does.

Feeling me tense up behind him, Cale murmurs, “There’s nothing to be afraid of. Everyone here arrived just like you, once.”

Just like me? Does he mean that everyone arrives at the circus out of nowhere on the back of his horse? Or maybe he means that everyone was new and scared once.

We pass three men in shorts and tank tops who are tumbling on the grass and throwing each other in the air. Their moves are slick and fearless and so fast that I can barely follow what’s happening. A young woman has folded herself in half backwards, her head touching her toes. By her side, a beanpole of a man is squeezing himself through a tennis racket that doesn’t have its strings and chatting away to her as if it’s nothing. What must it be like doing tricks for an audience who gasp with surprise and pleasure? I’m quite good with Dandelion and we can do all sorts of things together. Most of them involve going fast because we’ve had to run away from Dad so often. I imagine performing some of these tricks for an audience.

Then my heart sinks. I don’t have Dandelion, so now I’m nothing. It would have been wonderful to perform, but I could still be happy mucking out the horses and things like that. If people here are nice to me, I could be happy doing anything at all.

Cale halts Jareth by the wagons and dismounts, and then reaches up to grasp my waist and help me down. Jareth immediately nuzzles at Cale’s shirt pocket.

Cale spreads his arms. “Sorry buddy, I haven’t got any.” Jareth snorts and nuzzles him again. He laughs. “Okay, okay. Say goodnight to Ryah, and maybe I’ll find one somewhere.”

To my amazement, Jareth turns to me, stretches out a foreleg and bows regally over it.

“Oh! Goodnight, Jareth.” I pat his nose. “Thank you for the ride.”

Jareth turns back to Cale, who’s shaking his head ruefully. “Sorry, old boy. I checked, and I’m fresh out of sugar lumps.”

The horse lets out an angry snort, and waits, ears pricked forwards, as if he knows that Cale isn’t being truthful. Cale grins, and then suddenly there’s a sugar lump on his palm, appearing as if out of nowhere. I wonder if Cale’s a magician. I try to imagine him fussing about with top hats and rabbits, but that doesn’t seem quite right. He’s clever, but he’s got a glint of danger about him, too.

The horse delicately nibbles the lump from Cale’s palm.

A woman who looks about twenty-five and is dressed in a long, colorful skirt and tank top approaches us, smiling. “Jareth’s too clever. You’ll never fool him, Cale.” She smiles easily at me. “Hi, new girl. I’m Elke.”

“Um, hello.” I wonder how to introduce myself, but before I can, Elke says to Cale. “Leave her with me. Go take care of Jareth.”

“Thanks, Elke. I’ll be back in bit,” Cale adds to me, and then leads his horse off to where the others are grazing. I stare at his back in longing, because he’s the only person I know here.

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Elke passes me a tin mug full of water, and glances at my bare feet. “Runaway?”

I nod, accepting the mug and taking a drink. I wish Cale would come back. I feel braver when he’s around. Another young woman approaches us, and she looks only about a year or two older than me and has a riot of brown curly hair. “Hey! New performer?”

I shake my head. “Not really. I don’t have my horse. I don’t really know what I’m doing…” I trail off, embarrassed and uncertain.

The woman just grins. “I’m Anouk. Elke and I ride horses in the show.”

I study Elke and Anouk with envy. They’re both strong and straight-backed and seem so happy.

“Dinner’s in about half an hour,” Elke tells me. You’re probably starving, aren’t you? Then I’ll show you where to wash up and you can bunk with us in our wagon.”