Reckless (Irresistible 6)

“Yeah, it’s good to tidy up,” Dad said, ever eager to keep our conversations positive. “Hey—by the way. When I was in the basement, I found your old cell phone from high school.” I paused. “The one with all the video diaries you recorded for—”

“Yeah, Dad,” I interrupted, shaking my head. “I don’t need that thing. Just throw it away.”

I heard a pause and shuffling on the other end. “Are you sure? These are precious memories. And they’re such nice videos. I don’t think it’s too late to send them.”

“Dad,” I said firmly. “For Christ’s sake.”

“Alright, alright.”

It was quiet for a few seconds before I said, “Sully says hi.”

Jesus. Really didn’t think I’d have to bank on that for conversation.

“Oh, tell him hi!” Dad said.

Then he asked where I was, which other friends I was with and if the food was good at Summit. When I described what I’d ordered, he asked if I’d take him there the next time he visited, and I said of course, despite the fact that we both knew he wasn’t coming anytime soon.

Then we talked about a bunch of other shit—what he bought for dinner tonight, how he was making it, how the deer were still eating his tomatoes in the backyard—but I knew, even as we got a few laughs out, what we were both actually thinking about right now.

Those stupid video diaries that I couldn’t believe I’d actually recorded as a high schooler.

It was a distant memory, but apparently there was a time when I was a naive little puppy dog. When I’d yet to realize what happened to your head and your heart when you chose to fully love someone.

I was distracted enough by the memory of them that I could hear myself giving delayed replies, starting to sound bored despite the fact that I wasn’t—my mind was just determined to wander somewhere else.

But there was no one more sensitive to that sound than my dad, so it wasn’t long before he was telling me to go ahead and be with my friends, and thanking me for calling him, which quietly depressed the living shit out of me.

This is why I don’t call. Because we both love each other, but nobody wins.

“Hey, one more thing, son,” Dad said just as I was about to hang up, and when I said “what’s up” without hearing anything back from him for the next three seconds, I knew I was in for something heavier than I wanted to deal with right now.

But that was Dad these days. I didn’t call enough, so when I did, he tried to make it count.

He made a few “uh” and “ah” sounds before finally finding his words.

“If I could go into the past, I would’ve been stronger about the way I let Mom treat you. I wouldn’t have let her drive away the people you love,” he said.

I stared blankly out at nothing as I nodded like my dad could see me. And when I went too long without responding, I finally said, “Thanks.” It seemed a little short though, so I added, “I appreciate it.”

Then we hung up and I headed back to my table where I sat back down and did a better job of acting interested in whatever my friends were talking about with the girls. I smiled, laughed, introduced myself to the other three girls and joined Theo in roasting Sully for a little before I told myself I’d done my part and given my best effort.

I’d tried to hang out normally with the guys and not bother AJ, but I’d just hit my limit.

So I checked her Instagram story for the third time, watching the video she took of a big brunch spread and a table of what looked to be six girls, including Georgia and Emily.

It was from over two hours ago, so I reasoned that brunch could very well be over now. And after another few minutes, I caved, shooting her a quick text.

ME: What are you up to?

24

AJ

“Wait, so who’s coming to get you?”

The check was paid for, but the girls and I were still at the joyful birthday mess of a table, hoping to finish the ambitious amount of booze we’d ordered, but apparently, ordering that fourth pitcher was not in fact a good idea for six girls, especially since Emily stopped after her second drink, like the responsible human the rest of us were not.

Besides my sister, it was me, Georgia and three friends from high school—Chloe, Kate and Annie, who were all very curious about who was coming to give me a ride from brunch.