Wrong: A Stepbrother Romance

In front of the park, I realized it looked like the paintings we did in class, at the start of every year. It was an idea I’d come up with after my first year of teaching.

Outside, with thick, white paper taped to a brick wall, my students wore smocks and splashed fresh canvas with strokes of pink, blue, yellow, red. They smashed little paint-covered hands across the surface and giggled when their fingerprints overlapped. They wrote bright, encouraging words next to their initials and my last year, at the secret request of my fellow teachers, painted “get well” messages for Elle. When we could no longer see any white, we’d bring the mural back inside our classroom, where it would hang for the rest of the year as a reminder of our first group effort. And before school let out for the summer, we’d cut the big piece into about twenty smaller ones, distributing a portion to each student as a goodbye and small piece of inspiration.

The memory made me smile to myself – possibly my first real smile since leaving Abram and the hotel. I thought of the last piece of mural I’d received at the end of the year, and the words written on it in freshly learned cursive. “Dear Elle! Tomorrow Is Always A New Day.”

And suddenly, I could at least entertain the idea of carrying on.

chapter twenty-one

On a Monday morning, I visited my old school with Rhode.

“God, it’s hard to imagine that your sexy ass ever worked at such a sugary gumdrop establishment,” she said, gazing at the colorful murals painted on the walls. We had been scheduled as “special guest readers” for a summer program my old friend, Marina, was leading. Rhode and I read three books for them, complete with different voices, and then spent Marina’s lunch break with her in the empty classroom, listening to the story behind each painting on the class mural I’d inspired her to make with her kids. There was a little grin on my face all afternoon. I felt a sense of home returning, and when the kids came back from lunch and we said our goodbyes, I remembered their names to repeat to Elle in my thoughts at night, so she could share in the experience. It was a good sign. I didn’t feel quite ready for a return but every positive feeling was a little miracle in and of itself.

Plus, I was proud of Rhode for waiting till we left to finally curse again.

“Fuck, I might’ve just changed my mind about not having kids,” she squealed. But normal Rhode returned shortly, about four blocks later, when Travis texted. “This fuckin’ guy,” she giggled. “He can’t get enough of me. It’s gonna suck when I get sick of him but he still lives across the hall.”

I cackled. “Oh, the downfalls of hooking up with your cute neighbor.”

“Eh. Worth it. And I still think you should do it. I know you hated that dopey one that came over the other day but there’s a fuckin’ adorable one named Sean, who you should absolutely get on. Total sweetheart. Super different from the other guys and has probably never had a good blowjob.”

I snorted. “Oh-kay, Rhode, anyway…”

“Alright, alright. Well, while you continue being a respectable human being, I’m going to meet Travis at his office and probably blow him under his desk.”

“You do that, girl. Have a blast.”

“He certainly will. All over

me.”

“Rhode!” I scolded but she was already gone, blowing giggly kisses over her shoulder as she rushed into a cab. I laughed as I watched her go but once her car was out of sight, my eyes instinctively went to the black one parked right across the street. My gaze had been itching to stray from Rhode and look at it since we’d stepped out the building. Its tinted windows had some sort of pull on me that I couldn’t peg but didn’t question.

The sun in my eyes, I shielded them, walking over to the car with a calm under my skin that made no sense. When the window rolled down, Abram smirked at me.

“Step one, never do that.”

I stood there in disbelief of him and his beautiful grin under a baseball cap. “You never said bye to me,” I murmured through my dazed smile.

“So get in.”

Before I knew it, I was in the passenger seat, Abram driving us somewhere, seemingly with a direction in his head. Eventually, we parked in an empty garage, the overhead lights dim. In the backseat, Abram pulled me onto his lap, looking relaxed as he gazed into my eyes. “It’s over?” I whispered.

He shook his head. “I just needed a proper goodbye.”

I rested my forehead on his. “I was so worried about you, Abram. I’m still going to worry about you.”

“Don’t.” He cupped my cheeks, his murmur tickling my lips. “I want you to think about you now, Isla. You’re at peace again. Look at you. I wish you could see how beautiful you look right now. How beautiful you looked walking out of that school.” His thumbs brushed over my flushed cheeks. “I know what that passion looks like. That love for being a good influence on other people. I saw it on Gavin all the time and I wished I could be like that but I was raised differently.”

“What do you mean, Abram? You were good to me,” I pointed out as he shook his head.

“The bad. The darkness and danger – that’s all home for me. That’s where I do my best work. But I’ll always love knowing good through people like Gavin. Like you. You’re so fucking beautiful, inside and out. You’re a good person, Isla. Your darkest thought was about ending your own life in hopes that it would bring back another. I promise, you are so incredibly far from the hopeless person you thought you were. You live for the joy of others. I don’t think I saw you truly happy till just now, till this very moment, because you looked more stunning than I’d ever seen you and I never even thought that was possible.”

“I was happy with you,” I whispered.

“No.” He trailed his touch to the corner of my mouth. “I thrilled you, Isla. I never made you happy. There wasn’t enough calm for that. And there won’t be for a long time. Not with me.”

“I want to be with you, Abram. I still do.”