Discipline
God. Not fighting, just not dating anymore. I sucked in a slow, deep breath, preparing myself to break the news — that Ben and I were no longer together. That she wouldn’t get her money for the yoga studio-spa.
“Anyway, he was very upfront with me,” Mom continued. “He said that you spent the past week away from the apartment because you’re angry with him for working so much. But he’s going to make it up to you, honey. He’s been distant for a reason, and not one that you might think.”
Um. I cocked my head slowly. What… the hell kind of weird lies did Ben tell her?
My chest tightened with suspicion. It was never good when Ben made up stories. Like that time he lied about taking an Akita puppy off the hands of someone from hockey league, because he couldn’t just let it be abandoned. I was completely attached to Jack by the time I found out that Ben had purchased him at three months, knowing well that he had no time to properly raise him. But I had the time. I’d just have to always be home, stop going out at night and eventually quit work, which would be okay because Ben would give me an allowance along with the money for Jack’s food, grooming and vet appointments. But since he paid for my allowance, I had better do anything else he wanted me to do, even if it was unrelated to Jack.
“Mom,” I started, nervous and bracing myself for her reaction. “I don’t know what Ben said but I need to tell you something now.”
When I looked up, I was surprised to see that she was turned to me, already red-faced and teary. “Just let me show you something first, Nina, and don’t you dare tell him that I did,” she hiccupped, placing one hand to her flushed cheek while scrolling through her phone with the other. Only then did I realize that her tears were of happiness – more happiness than I’d seen on her face an hour ago, when Jake accepted his diploma. “Honey. Look.” She held up her screen to show me a picture – of something big, sparkly and familiar.
You’ve got to be kidding me.
It was the ring. The five-carat rock I’d already turned down, that Ben had no doubt led Mom to think was still a surprise. He knew she’d lose her mind over it, that she’d never let me turn down something so massive and beautiful. Even if I told her about the breakup, she’d give me hell and rally Kelsey, Aunt Erin and Woodhill around her until they all swayed me to say yes to Ben. Mom was a force to be reckoned with when she attached herself to something, and Ben was well aware of that.
“Nina, honey, he plans to propose,” Mom gushed, completely over the moon. Good Lord. I closed my eyes, her words confirming my suspicion of Ben’s insane manipulation. But what she said next was far worse. “And I think he might do it at Jake’s party!”
~
“I will rent a Zipcar right now and save you from this fucking shitshow,” Em insisted. “Just say the word.”
I hugged my knees to my chest. My house was flooded with more than a hundred graduates, parents and teachers, but I was holed up in my bedroom, sitting on the floor with my phone pressed to my ear and my makeup running. I opened my mouth to answer Em but froze when a commotion sounded in the foyer. Mom was cooing something and I could hear female voices gathering with excitement.
“So, this is the famous Ben!”
Shit.
“He’s here,” I grumbled miserably. Em cursed. I held the phone away for a moment, listening to Ben’s voice as he effortlessly charmed everyone downstairs. My lip curled at his fake enthusiasm. I’d heard it a thousand times, not even including his phone conversations with M
om. “God, Em,” I groaned, holding my breath for a second to confirm the footsteps on the stairs. “He’s coming to look for me.”
Em instantly spewed profanity, and loudly, as if she intended for him to hear it once he walked in. “Tell that piece of shit that the next time I see his ass in the city I’m rounding up every fucking bouncer in the LES and we’re all going to beat the pure fucking –”
She cut off because I dropped the phone when my bedroom door swung open. Damn it, how the hell did I not lock it? Upon seeing me in the corner with my cheeks streaked with tears, Ben gave a good, hearty laugh. His large frame took up much of my doorway as he ran a hand through his dark blonde hair, raising his eyebrows with amusement.
“Jesus Christ, Nina.” He closed the door behind him before strolling toward me in his Ferragamo loafers. The fact that he locked it made me back up instinctively, but I went nowhere being already pressed up against the wall. Ben laughed again. “Runny makeup aside, you look good, babe.”
“Get away from me.” I grunted as he bent down and easily picked me up, holding me tight against his body once I got to my feet. I pushed against him in vain. “Why are you doing this, Ben? You don’t get to decide that we’re still together. We aren’t, so you need to leave me the hell alone!” I shoved off of him hard, landing myself on my bed. He took a second to gaze at my splayed legs before I snapped them shut.
“I miss you,” he said to my thighs. “I miss having you in bed with me, babe.” He reached to touch me but I swatted him away. His voice hardened. “Stop,” he muttered, annoyed. “We had a argument, Nina.”
I gaped at him. “Are you kidding? Ben, you were under the impression that you owned me considering what you asked me to do. When I said no, that was an argument. What you did after I rejected your ring? That was a breakup. So in case you’re confused, we are no longer together and we won’t be again.”
I pushed up from the bed to leave but Ben grabbed my wrists and held me in place. “I bought a ring for you,” he said, as if it were some sort of definitive argument. “I’ve already made my choice to marry you.”
“So?” I practically spat the word while trying to yank myself from his grip. “I hate to blow your mind, but your choice is not the only one that matters.”
“Don’t drag this out for fun. If you really didn’t want me, you would’ve left after the fight.”
“I planned on it. I was figuring out a living situation,” I said through my teeth, hating the fact that I’d ever depended on this man for anything. I couldn’t believe that I’d stayed for a whole day after the fight.
Ben stared at me, his grey eyes steely. He barely moved to keep me still when I tried again to jerk away. “You’re not going to find anyone who can give you what I can give you. You know I’m what’s best for you, Nina. Your whole family knows it too.”
I stopped wrestling against him to laugh in his face. “Please,” I scoffed, taking pleasure in the insult already forming between his brows. “Whatever game you’re playing with my family, you can stop it here. My mom can scream and cry and badger me for months or years but I won’t let her or anyone else pressure me into anything, least of all marrying you. So by all means, propose again in front of her and my entire town, my answer will still be hell fucking no.”
My chest heaved with fury as I caught my breath. I waited for Ben to speak, daring to cock an eyebrow at his silence. In response, his grasp on me tightened though he unclenched his jaw to smirk with condescension, as if I were just an insolent child.
“Despite what you may think, you belong to me.”