Osamu Dazai's Entrance Exam (Bungo Stray Dogs 1)
Without saying a word, she gazes at me and smiles. The trees on the forest path sway in the gentle ocean breeze. I continue, as if I were talking only to myself.
“…The first time someone died on the job, I cried so much that I couldn’t get out of bed. I couldn’t even call the agency to tell them I wasn’t coming in. I thought I would never recover. And yet, now I don’t even shed a single tear. That’s why I come here instead. I feel like I need to do something so that the victims can rest in peace.”
“Would shedding a single tear…help those who passed to rest in peace?”
“I don’t know. Perhaps it doesn’t do anything. Our calls will not reach the deceased, no matter how much we pray or sob before their graves. Time has stopped for them. All we can do is mourn and believe that we live in a world where it is normal for people to die and for the living to mourn them.”
“…You’re a cruel person, Detective Kunikida.”
As I turn to face her, I’m taken by surprise. Tears well in her eyes as she tries not to cry.
“I lied to you the other day. The man I said I broke up with… He actually passed away. He was a man of ideals. I did everything I could to support him, yet…he died without ever telling me he loved me.”
I’m sure a considerate person would be able to offer kind words of comfort during times like this.
“Oh.” But all I offer her is one foolish, simple word.
“The departed are cowards. It is exactly as you say, Detective Kunikida. Time has stopped for the dead, and there is nothing we can do to bring them joy or make them smile. I’m— I’ve grown tired.”
Unable to hold it in any longer, she lets a large teardrop slide down her cheek. If an all-knowing wise man knew the exact right words to say, would even he be able to stop those tears?
I don’t know. I’ve gone through trials and tribulations to pursue my ideals, write them in my notebook, and make them a reality. Even now, I wonder if there exists a perfect word or a perfect salvation to save every single person on this planet. But such an endeavor means nothing before a lone woman’s tears.
“I apologize. I let my emotions get the best of me… I should be going soon.”
“Are you okay?”
A stupid question, I admit.
“Yes, I’m fine. I was actually asked to be a consulting analyst for this case by the military police. It is within my field of expertise, and this is a very complicated case…so I am meeting with the government official in charge after this.”
Anyone who consults for the MP must be someone of top caliber. Even ignoring the fact that she had a hand in solving this case, she still must have an impressive track record in the field.
“Well, if I ever run into trouble at work, I will make sure to get in touch with you.”
“Yes, please do.”
She finally smiles. The breeze from over the horizon brushes past the mountain ridges. With a silent bow, she leaves. After watching her fade into the distance, I turn to the city of Yokohama and idly gaze at the scenery.
Suddenly, my phone rings, catching my attention. It’s Dazai.
“Kunikida, I need you to come here.”
His voice is unusually dark for a change.
“What did you ask me to come here for?”
Dazai told me to meet him at the abandoned hospital where the first incident took place. Under the warmth of the sun, what the darkness had turned into an eerie, ominous abandoned hospital proves to be nothing more than a faded, deserted building. Radiant sunlight peeks through the shattered window of what used to be a sickroom, illuminating the floor.
“How in the world do you remove the safety on this gun?”
I look over. He has a gun, surprisingly enough. It’s a compact pistol belonging to our agency that uses double-column magazines. Any employee of ours is free to borrow one.
“You called me all the way over here to ask me that?”
In awe of his stupidity, I remove the black pistol’s safety. He aims the muzzle a few times at some empty space before opening his mouth again.
“Y’know, I have a hard time believing that arms dealer was the Azure Apostle.”