His Will

“A date?” Jericho comes to his feet. Asher stands right along with him, holding his hands out for Jericho to pick him up. Asher is already half asleep. Jericho is good at wearing him out.

I can’t help but smile at how fast Asher has taken to him. It makes me happy to see them together. I know there is a big void in Asher’s life with Michael being gone. The more people to love Asher, the better, but I have to admit I’m a bit jealous of how easy it’s been for the two of them.

“Thought you might want to get out some. I’ve picked a quiet restaurant.”

“So this is like a test? To get me used to going out a bit more?” I question him. Right. Of course, that’s what it is. He told me he’d help me fight these fears I have. It’s not a date. I can’t help but feel a pang of disappointment. I know it’s ridiculous, but I can’t control how I feel.

“If you don’t want to go, we don’t have to. Dora said she’d stay and watch Asher.”

“I want to.” I sit up straighter. Suddenly the idea of a night out sounds really nice. If it’s anything like the zoo, I think I’ll be more than okay. “What should I wear?”

“Anything you want.”

“I’ll go get ready now.” I jump up from my seat. When his lips twitch, I realize I’m being a bit too eager. Way to play it cool, Sera. “But it’s not a date.” I rush to say. His smile falters. Shit, I’m really messing this all up. I need to learn to live a little in the moment and not overthink things.

“It’s whatever you want it to be,” he offers.

It’s so hard to believe this is the same man that showed up here so angry with me. I don’t really understand what’s changed. He’s disliked me for so long. Always making sure to avoid me. Now he’s being so kind.

I don’t know what comes over me, but I walk over and give Jericho a kiss on the cheek then turn my head to brush a kiss against his mouth next. Something flashes in his eyes, and I know I’m playing with fire when it comes to him.

I want to feel the heat against my skin. As maddening as it’s been having him here, it’s also the most alive I’ve felt in a long time.

I also think I know I can’t take that next step, but maybe I can get Jericho to give me the shove I need. Hopefully he’ll catch me.

11

JERICHO

“When you said quiet, I didn’t realize we would be the only ones here. Did you really rent out the entire place? How is that possible?” Sera keeps twisting her head in disbelief.

Money, Sera, money. “Must be a slow night.” I stretch my hand out along the starched white cotton tablecloth and then pull back when I realize I’m about to capture her small hand in mine. I find myself making these small unconscious gestures more often these days. When I first vowed to give her time, to be careful about not touching her, it was more so for my sake than hers. I was afraid one touch would send me into flames, and I’d forget my promise to take it slow and throw her down on the floor and rut her into the ground.

Over time, I found that holding myself back was worse. The more I denied my urges, the stronger the lust. A man can only endure so much self-pleasure before it isn’t pleasure anymore, but a painful chore.

So I’ve allowed myself small moments like the brush of her body as we pass through a doorway or the press of her thigh alongside mine as we watch a movie. I live for those fleeting moments. A quarter of the year has passed. Winter has moved to spring. The trees are budding, and the snow has given way to rain, and I cannot hold out for another day. She kissed me today. It’s a sign.

“It’s Friday. Seven o’clock. I read in the newspaper last week that you can’t get a reservation to this place. It’s always packed. I swear I read that to you.”

She did, which is why I picked this place and paid a fortune for them to open it just for the two of us. “I hope the food is good,” I answer.

The waiter brings by an amuse-bouche of a small grilled scallop on top of a pellet size bit of chorizo. I swallow it in one gulp, the spiciness of the sausage offsetting the mild sweetness of the shellfish. Sera takes a tentative bite, her small white teeth flashing as she tastes the delicacy.

“This is really good, but we didn’t order it, which reminds me, will they bring the menus?” She peers at the empty doorway where the waiter disappeared.