Hotel O

He brings his finger to his lips, and says, “Shh … Don’t tell anyone.”

Of course, he’d say that.

Why would I expect anything else?

Chapter 28

Kat

At work, I’m writing a few articles that are way overdue. I haven’t looked at the one I was writing about my experiences at the hotel in ages, partly due to the fact that I have a conflict of interest now. I still want to finish it someday, but I just don’t know when. Part of me desperately wants to see what it’d bring me, yet a part of me can’t stop thinking something bad will happen if I do. Even if I remove all the personal details and references, I can’t shake the feeling that Declan will be pissed, and that I might lose him.

Before, I didn’t really care about any of that, but right now, I don’t know anymore.

Which is why I’ve drowned myself in other work so I don’t even have to think about it.

However, I’ve been typing away so much my fingers hurt. I definitely need a break right about now. Plus, I’ve been meaning to call Flynn after that recent fiasco at Declan’s condo.

I still find it so hard to fathom Flynn’s been working there all this time, and I didn’t even know it. Why wouldn’t he tell me? Was he that ashamed of his work? I wonder what he does then … if he’s part of the staff or maybe part of the crew that pleases the guests.

My curiosity takes control of me as I pick up my phone and dial his number. I don’t even know what to say, but we have to talk about this.

“Flynn,” he says as he picks up.

“Hey, it’s Kat.”

“Oh … hey.” He doesn’t sound too happy to hear from me.

“Sorry, am I bothering you right now? I can call back later.”

“No, it’s fine,” he says, clearing his throat. “I just wasn’t expecting this.”

“What? Me calling you?”

“No, I just … never mind.”

“What’s the matter?” I ask, leaning back in my chair.

“Nothing. I’m just worried about you, okay? That dude isn’t right for you, you should know that.”

I sigh. “I know you don’t like him, and that’s fine. But—”

“You don’t like him either, Kat,” he interrupts. “You just don’t want to realize it.”

“Maybe I do. So what?”

“He’s not a datable guy. Trust me.”

“How do you know?”

“Because he treats you like shit, like all the other girls who came before you.”

That’s not exactly what I want to hear … but okay. “Maybe this time is different.”

“It’s not. Don’t fool yourself into thinking he’ll change. He won’t,” he says.

“You don’t know that. You don’t know him like I do.”

“He’s my boss. I know him differently.”

“In a bad way,” I say. “I noticed. And that’s okay. I get that you’re pissed at him, and rightfully so, considering all the shit he did, but I …” I sigh. “There are feelings involved, okay? I’m not sure what it is, but I want to find out. I need this right now. I need to know if there’s a possibility for more.”

“There’s not. Trust me. Please.” He’s being so straightforward … goddammit. I don’t know what’s gotten into him.

“I want to, believe me, but I have to follow my heart too.”

“Dammit, Kat … Please, listen to me,” he growls.

I don’t like the tone of his voice. “Flynn—”

“You’re making a big mistake,” he interjects. “I wish I could explain, but I can’t. Not without hurting you even more.”

“Fine, then don’t,” I say. “I don’t need advice. I only called to say thank you. To make things up after how badly shit ended when you walked out of Declan’s apartment,” I say. “For now, Declan is part of my life, and I’m not going to punt him out just because you say he’s bad for me.”

I’m not letting Declan go this easily. Not for anyone, and certainly not because Flynn wants me to.

“Wait, Kat—”

I end the call before he can say anything more that’ll make me question everything.

Even if he’s right, I don’t want to doubt what I feel right now.

I’ve lived in doubt for so long, always searching but never finding what I needed, never finding what I was looking for. From the moment I was born, I’ve been kept in a room like a fucking pet, always being protected from the big, bad outside world. As if living my life the way I wanted to would be the worst thing that could ever happen to me.

No. I want to be free. I want to do what I like. I want to try everything even if it’s bad and wrong and filthy. I don’t want to be held back anymore.

First, my parents … now Flynn.

I’ve had enough. I need this for my own sake. And now that I’ve crossed paths with Declan, I have to know where it could lead. Even if it’s only heartache.