Mouth to Mouth (Beach Kingdom 1)

“No, but it would kill me,” she whispered, running her fingertips up and down the center of his chest. “Just like you can’t help being jealous, I can’t help being curious.”

God, it felt good lying with her there in the near-dark. Talking, touching, no fucking time limit. It wasn’t going to be an easy telling, but he would never be more comfortable unburdening himself than he was there, with Olive, in that moment. “Thanks. For letting me get here in my own time.” They traded a long look that made his heart squeeze. “The night I was arrested…” He tried to clear the discomfort from his throat, but it wasn’t going anywhere. “I was walking home from the Hut. Right there along the boardwalk, where we were tonight—and I couldn’t get a hold of Jamie. We were supposed to meet up for a beer. It’s not like him to flake. He’s always on time, always got something sarcastic to say when I show up late. But I was on time that night and he wasn’t there.”

Rory knew he was lingering over the insignificant details to delay what was coming, so he forced himself to push ahead.

“I went to Jamie’s assigned chair, thinking maybe he’d stayed late because some kids were still swimming—and I saw some older guys. They were in the water. Looked like they were wrestling or something, so I started to head back up to the boardwalk, but I heard one of them say Jamie. Say my brother’s name.” Rory closed his eyes and tried to breathe through the anger that heated his blood. All these years later, he couldn’t control it. “That guy we saw tonight. He was holding Jamie under the water.”

Olive’s skin turned icy against Rory’s and he instinctively turned and gathered her into his arms, rubbing circles onto her naked back, grateful for the job. It was a distraction from his leftover rage.

“They were letting him back up to breathe. They weren’t…I don’t think they were planning on drowning him. But they were drunk. I could tell that a mile away, could hear it in their voices. They could have made a mistake, you know? And there were five of them. Five on one.” His chest felt like it was caving in. “I’ve always been a fighter, baby, but I’ve never fought unfairly like that.”

“No, you wouldn’t.” Olive held him tightly, her face pressed into his neck. “You wouldn’t do that. I know that about you.”

“No. But I would keep hitting someone long after they passed out. I did.” He let out a shaking exhale into her hair. “His four friends couldn’t pull me off. I was an animal. I might have turned on them, too, if the cops hadn’t shown up. Wrestled me off.” He swallowed hard. “I could have killed him. I think I would have, Olive.”

She lifted her head and looked at him, sympathetic and trusting and sad…and he had to get out the rest. Had to get it out before he accepted the comfort he’d never expected and didn’t deserve.

“The guy I attacked…Jamie was the first man he’d been with. And I don’t know, he regretted it. Or hated that he didn’t regret it. But he had some alcohol and decided to take out whatever shit he was feeling on my brother.” He breathed in, breathed out. “What I did to him usually comes with a much longer sentence, but Jamie testified in court. Told the judge he could have…he…”

“He could have been killed,” Olive finished for him, a hitch in her voice. “It’s true, Rory. I don’t think you can let anger make decisions for you. Fighting and injuring someone is never the right answer, but…just hearing you tell the story makes me so mad, I’m not sure I wouldn’t have reacted the same way. I’m not sure anyone could help it.” She gathered him close and he let her, let the fact that she knew everything and still wanted him sink in. Christ, the relief of that made him dizzy. “They could have killed your brother. Seeing that kind of thing happen right in front of you, it’s no wonder you weren’t in your right mind.”

He nodded. “I only remember pieces. Even now.”

“Good. I’m think I’m glad you don’t remember every detail,” she said, smoothing his eyebrows with her thumbs. “Thank you for telling me.”

She brought their mouths together, kissing him softly and Rory made a rough sound. “Dammit, Olive. This shit is too heavy for you. I hate that I put any of this in your head.” He tunneled his fingers through her hair. “You should only hear and see and feel good things.”

For several beats, she only regarded him quietly. “The best endings come after a bad start. Good is only good if you’ve seen enough bad to appreciate it.”