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H is for Hawk (Men of ALPHAbet Mountain)

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She smiled, droplets of tears threatening to fall from the corners of her eyes. The cool air breezed by and picked up a strand of her hair and pushed it back over her ear. She looked beautiful.

“I am,” she said. “As long as it’s with you, I am.”

“Good.” The smile stretched across my face so wide I thought I might tear my cheeks. “Then you can help me choose who the witnesses are.”

“Am I not one of them?” she asked.

“Technically, you could be,” I said. “But I would rather you be there with me. I know it won’t be your name on the guardianship papers, but I want you to be participating as much as I am as if your name was there.”

“Okay,” she said, the tear that had been threatening to fall dropping down her cheek. “Okay, I will.”

She leaned in again, and we embraced before kissing. I could taste the saltiness of her tears on the corner of her lip, and though I generally hated the idea of her crying, at least this one was for a good reason. I stood, putting Rose back on my chest, and held out my hand for her. She took it and stood and wrapped both arms around one of mine.

Together we walked further into the woods, further into our future.

It was a big day.

That was the understatement of the year, actually. It was a huge day. The biggest day of my life up to that point probably. And I was tooling around the house alone, trying not to go crazy.

Dee had to work early, as she usually did, but she was getting off at eleven. Plenty of time for her to go back to her place and get dressed and ready. She said she wanted to look nice, and all her dresses and nice clothes were back at her place.

Unfortunately, that meant the whole day before, I was home with Rose, pacing. I was able to get a short nap in after Rose woke up for her normal 4:00 a.m. feeding and then was up for the day at six. I checked in on some of the birds I had tracking devices on and got a shower before Rose was up for the morning as well.

Then it was business as usual, taking care of her, doing some household chores, and otherwise passing time until it was time to get her ready to go. I had just gotten her dress on her and packed her in her car seat when I got a text message. I checked the notifications tab and saw it was from Gerry.

We will be there at twelve thirty. Lunch after? Our treat.

I smiled.

Over the last few weeks, when we did make it out of the house, we went to see Malia and Gerry and their baby, Alice. A couple of times they had come over to see us, and we generally just had a good time hanging out and commiserating in newborn exhaustion.

Gerry was a great guy, and being from Canada, he had a slightly different view of the world than most people in Tennessee. Malia was a blast too, and her inspiring story was something I kept up with both in person and through her streaming channel online. It was crazy to see the woman she had become, having only remembered her vaguely as Dee’s kid sister.

Wendy and Finn, along with their two kids, often were over as well. While it took a little bit of time for Wendy and me to feel comfortable around each other, I got along with Finn immediately. When the three couples got together, there were certainly a bunch of little ones around, and it made me feel a semblance of something I had always wanted. Family.

Malia and Gerry had agreed to be my witnesses at the guardianship hearing and had taken the day off to do it. I was very thankful they wanted to be there for me, and while I knew a lot of it was that I was with Dee and they would do anything for her, I felt a connection to them personally that I felt was real too.

The plan was that I would meet Dee at the courthouse just before the time to go in, and as I got there, Malia and Gerry were waiting but Dee hadn’t arrived yet. There was still a little bit of time, but I was getting myself worked up in a way that I hadn’t felt in a long time. I was nervous and emotional and didn’t really know how to process it all.

Then Dee’s car pulled into the parking lot, and I felt a wave of relief wash over me. As she got out of the car, I was walking toward her and saw she had changed into a lovely white dress. Her hair was perfect, and she had done her makeup in her “fancy” mode, a style we both jokingly described that way as she spent very little time usually on makeup.


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