California Sunshine

Do you stay in the Hamptons or Martha’s Vineyard? Both. Because my backpack is so in fashion right now.

How much are you worth? Right. Because the son of the owner of a regional coffee roaster is knocking back drinks with Elon Musk and Jeff Bezos.

Ugh. This is why I don’t date.

Except, Belle laughs. And her laughter is getting louder the longer it goes on. This isn’t a mere chuckle, or laughing at a bad joke. She’s going into full-on hysteria. The longer it goes, the more I squirm in my seat. “This is, um, not the usual response I get when I tell people about the family business.”

“Oh my god,” she says once she’s able to put words together again. “Your family roasts coffee . . . and you lost a coffee bet.” Her laughter builds again. Only this time, I laugh with her. She’s right. When you look at it like that, it’s fucking hilarious. “Thank you,” she tells me when we’ve stopped laughing. “I needed that.” She picks up her mug and takes a long drink. My eyes drift down to her slender throat as she swallows, and I have to give myself a mental head slap, because this is not the time for that. My eyes snap up as she lowers her mug. “And the coffee,” she adds. She studies me for a moment. One that lasts an hour. Longer, but not long enough either. She’s searching for an answer just out of her reach. A question sitting on her tongue she can’t quite ask. “Why you?” I balk at the question, and she scrambles to rephrase. “I mean, I figured one of you would try to talk to me . . .”

“But not me?”

She shakes her head. “You haven’t liked me from the start. You’ve gone out of your way to make it abundantly clear you don’t want me slowing the group down. At least until . . .” She trails off, her gaze falling to the cup clenched in her hands. She chews on her lip, wanting to say something. I’d say something, anything, but I don’t want to push her away. Not this time. Not again. Her gaze snaps back up, locking onto mine with determination. “You apologized to me at Deep Creek. Why?” she demands.

Yes. There’s my way in. Now I need to make sure I don’t screw this up. “Your story. What your ex put you through.”

She leans back, crossing her arms and looking dejected. “You felt sorry for me? Well, don’t. I’m a big girl, Grinder. I’m getting over it.”

I shake my head. “That wasn’t why. And no, you’re not. But that’s okay. It’s what makes you like the rest of us.”

She scrunches her face up at me. It would be cute under different circumstances. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

I sigh, knowing this is the last conversation I want to have. But it’s the conversation she needs. That I need. “All four of us, we’re running. You. Me. Bats. Hell, even Nova’s running.”

“I’m not running from Bryce,” Belle snaps at me. “He’s behind me.”

“Is he? Then why haven’t you fucked Nova? From what I can tell, you’ve had the opportunity, but haven’t yet. Why?”

“Fuck you,” Belle growls out. “What Nova and I do is none of your damn business.”

“No. It’s not. To be honest, I don’t care if you’ve slept with him or not. But I know Nova. And he would never, ever, do what you think he did.” I lean back, crossing my arms in a mimic of her posture, matching her scowl for scowl. “Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe Nova pulled the dickhead move of the year. In which case, Bats and I will be happy to hold him down while you kick his ass. I’ll buy you a ticket home myself, Uber and all, if that’s what you want. But like I said, that’s not the Nova I know. And by now, you should know it too.”

Belle slams her mug down with enough force I’m surprised it doesn’t crack. “I fucking knew it. Of course you’re taking his side. I’m done,” Belle declares, scooting back from the table.

I shoot up, snagging her wrist. “He didn’t cheat on you. He wouldn’t.”

Belle tries to wring her wrist free, but I hold on to her with everything I can. “You don’t know that. And you can’t say you didn’t see what I saw.”

“I do know,” I insist. “Last year, Bat’s younger sister was cheated on. She asked the three of us to go with her to get her stuff back. The dickhead started talking shit to her, and Nova almost took the guy’s head off. Nova’s an only child, but he loves our sisters like they’re his own. He saw how devastated she was. He would never put anyone through that. None of us could.” Belle stops tugging, but her gaze meets mine with iron determination burning in them. As we stand there staring at each other, her expression softens a touch as my words soak in. “He didn’t cheat on you. The girl was drunk and looking for a hookup. After you left, she almost fell into the pool three times trying to get back to her chair and tried to kiss two other guys. I understand what you think you saw, but it was entirely one-sided.” Releasing her wrist, I reach up to cup her cheek, forcing her to listen to the truth. “I know it sounds cliched, but he only has eyes for you. If you walk away, you won’t be the only one devastated by a simple misunderstanding.”

Belle turns away, looking out the window next to us. She’s biting her lip hard enough a droplet of blood forms on her soft pink lips. She clenches her fists, torn between fighting or letting go. “When I walked in on Bryce . . . when I heard him telling another woman the same sweet things he told me . . .” she sucks in a deep breath, slowly letting it out as she shakes her head. “How does anyone move on from something like that? Am I supposed to just let it go and pretend it never happened? I tried to. But clearly, something in me still isn’t right. I need time to figure it out. I don’t know if I can do that around Nova.”

“Belle . . . Elizabeth . . .” At the sound of her actual name, she turns back to me. I take her hand in mine in the same way she’s taken Bats or Nova’s hand, giving it a gentle squeeze to let her know she’s safe with me. With us. “I get it. But Nova’s nothing like that asshat. You know he isn’t. I’ve known my fair share of Bryces. They’ll tell you anything to get in your pants. For themselves. Nova . . . all he’s wanted to do is help you move on. If you’ll let him. Even if you don’t want to sleep with him.”

Belle stands there for a moment as she considers, then lowers herself back into her chair. I take the one next to her, not letting go of her hand, because I’m not convinced she won’t make a break for it if I let go. “What is he running from?” she asks. “I mean, Bats is running from the NFL draft, right? What’s Nova running from?”

“Growing up? The three of us have been inseparable for the last eight years. We’ve done everything together. Come June, we’d graduate and that would be it. End of an era.”

Belle looks at me with slight disbelief. “Just like that? You three go your separate ways and never see each other again? Bullshit.”

“Well, no. But it won’t be the same. We’ll get separate places to live. Jobs in different places. We won’t see each other on the daily basis we’ve grown used to. They’ll never stop being my brothers, but bit by bit, we’ll drift apart. It’s how life goes, you know.”

She shakes her head. “Nova will fight to keep what you have. Bats too. For as long as they can, I think. Which leaves you, Grinder. And you don’t sound like you’re ready to let them go either. Unless something’s stopping you? Is that what you’re running from?”

It takes an awful lot to freeze me. But her question does. Because I know I’m going to have to answer it. Even though answering it will be admitting I have a deadline. The clock is ticking down, and I’m running out of time. The only question remaining is how I spend that time. And who I spend it with. Looking down, I realize I’m still holding her hand in mine. Neither of us seems to want to let go. I took her hand to comfort her, but now, she’s comforting me.

“I was fifteen when my sister told Father she was going into fashion,” I start, remembering that afternoon. The words. The yelling. All of it. “Father was devastated. He felt betrayed by her choice. Don’t get me wrong. He loves her and is extremely proud of her. But she was supposed to be the heir to the company, and she walked away. Which left me as next in line.” Belle gives my hand a slight squeeze, and my eyes rise to meet her sympathetic gaze. “From that point on, my life has been chosen for me. College prep courses. University options. Summer internships. All of it.”

A heavy silence falls between us, broken by Belle’s soft voice. “When you talk about your coffee blend or your company, it’s clear you take pride in them. So why do you make it sound like a death sentence?”

“I love the company. The people. The coffee. All of it. But some days, I wonder if I love it because I do, or because I’m expected to.” With my free hand, I reach out and grab my mug, gulping down a large mouthful before continuing. “I have a deadline. The guys wouldn’t have told you, but I do. Before coming here, when we went hiking I was like you, if you can believe it. Stopping to take pictures. Admiring every field, river, mountain. Everything. I loved getting away. Out here, there’s no company. No expectations. Just me, Bats, and Nova. Except this time, I skipped out on my last term to be here. I won’t graduate on time. I won’t go on the annual trip to visit the farms in South America. Or get hands-on training with the regional managers. When Father calls, I can hear the same sense of betrayal, even though we both know that starting September first, I’ll spend the rest of my life working toward replacing my father as president of the company.”

“Why September first?”

“We have a company picnic every Labor Day. A chance for all of the employees to come back into the office to relax and talk shop. Father expects me to be home by then. It’s why he calls. He doesn’t want to know if I’m enjoying myself. He wants to know that I’ll be home in time. Or maybe even come to my senses and go back home to finish my degree and start training with management. That sort of shit.”

“That’s why you keep pushing for more miles,” Belle guesses, then gasps. “You don’t have enough time, do you? Because of me?”

“What? No, Belle . . .”

Belle draws back her hand, and I find that I miss it. “I am slowing you down. You were right. I shouldn’t have joined you. I should have left in Warner Springs. You won’t finish, and it will be all my fault. I knew I should have done this alone and not dragged anyone else into my messed up life.”

“Then why did you join us, Belle?” The question shocks her as much as it shocks me. I shake my head. That’s not what I wanted to say. Only . . . No. Fuck it. “You had enough chances to leave, but you didn’t. Why?” Belle’s mouth opens and closes a few times as she searches for an answer. She picks up her phone. My heart stops. Is she going to call Rachel to get her out of here? Did I fuck everything up? But then she starts searching for something. I sit there waiting. Too afraid to open my mouth. After the longest minute of my life, she pushes her phone over to me. I pick it up, finding a photo on the screen of a meadow full of wildflowers in bloom. “Where was this? I don’t remember passing through here.”

She shakes her head. “You didn’t. You passed it by on the way to Burnt Rancheria. That’s Lower Morris Meadow, where I was going to camp on day two.”

“You’ve stayed with us every night,” I say. But then I remember something. “You weren’t with Nova when he reached the campground. You came in after him.”

“We separated at the junction to Lower Morris. He headed for Burnt Rancheria to join up with you and Bats. I went to the meadow.”

“Why didn’t you stay there? What made you come and find us?”

She sighs as she takes her phone back, tucking it away. “When I left Campo, I thought I could be strong and do this by myself. But honestly? I got about halfway through the day and . . . stopped. I’ve never had a panic attack. But sitting there, on the side of the trail, a thousand miles from home with five months of being alone ahead of me . . . I couldn’t do it. I thought about calling Rachel when I got to Lake Morena that night. She could have turned around. Come and picked me up. But Nova was there. And he was so damn excited to see me. You know? I’ve never had someone be that excited to see me.”

“Not even the asshat?”