Good Girl

We’re going away. Dominic suggested it and now we’re actually doing it.

He says he’s sorted everything. He’s picked a hotel. It’s a few hours’ drive away. And tomorrow I’ll be sat beside him as we drive away on an actual date. A weekend of dates. A getaway.

I can’t get my head around it. I can’t quite believe it.

I spent the day shopping for underwear and new clothes. I want to look incredible, I want him to want me more than ever.

And most of all I want to make sure that he doesn’t change his mind. That he doesn’t back out. That he fucks me.

When I get home I see my mums car in the drive. She’s been working so much of late I’m more surprised when she is home than when she isn’t. Not that I’m complaining because her being away gives me plenty of alone time with Dominic.

I unlock the door and carry my bags up to my room. I don’t want her to spot them, not that she’ll know who they’re for but the fact that I’m buying underwear, expensive underwear at that, is something I’d rather keep from a woman who delights in picking every aspect of my life to pieces.

When I’m done hiding them I go back downstairs. Dominic will be home soon and it’s my turn to cook anyway.

Only she’s in the kitchen. Back to me, leaning against the counter.

I go to leave but her tone makes me pause. Makes me hesitate.

“…Of course Colin.” She purrs. “No, I’ll be there.”

The man on the line says something and she laughs. Flirtatiously. “I wouldn’t dream of it. If you’re going I’m going and besides we can sneak off early, just like always.”

The man says something else and she laughs more. “Oh I’ll be sure too. I’ll buy some especially, black lace, just how you like.”

I pull a face not wanting to hear anymore but I can’t exactly walk anywhere because my shoes on the marble would give away that I’m here. I mean how she hasn’t already picked up on it I don’t know.

She hangs up, sighing like some sort of lovesick teenager. Confirming everything I’ve heard. Everything I now know.

She’s having an affair. She’s cheating on Dominic.

“Who was that?” I ask.

She turns staring at me, her face going so pale. “Just Dominic.”

“No it wasn’t.”

“Eden…”

“You said Colin. So how about you stop lying and tell me who it was.” I say

She pulls a face. She knows she’s fucked up. I can see it in her eyes. “My boss if you must know.”

“Your boss?” I snap and then I put it together. “You’re fucking your boss?”

“Don’t use that language.” She says.

“Why, it’s true isn’t it?” I reply.

“It’s not like that. You don’t understand.” She says so dismissively.

“Yeah you’re right I don’t. You’re having an affair, you’re cheating on Dominic.”

“Like he isn’t seeing other people.” She retorts and I try so hard not to flush.

“Do you know that for a fact?” I ask.

“No.” She mumbles as she sits down and I realise she’s drunk. Again. “He probably isn’t. He’s too good for that. Too noble.”

“You’re right he’s too good.” I snap.

“Stop judging me. Stop seeing him as the hero all the time. He’s not even your real father.” She shouts. She’s angry now, defensive. Reverting back to the abusive parent trick to get me to obey. “I have a right to be happy, to feel wanted.” She says slamming her hand into the quartz.

“And Dominic doesn’t make you feel like that?”

“What is this marriage counselling?” She scoffs. “No he doesn’t. Sure he wants sex, sure he tries but he doesn’t do it for me. Not anymore.”

“And your boss does?”

“Yes he does actually.”

“So why don’t you leave Dominic? Start afresh? Hook up with your boss?”

“How can I? Dominic has all the money. This house, my car, even your tuition was paid by him. You’re half of the reason I’m trapped here because no other man would take you on.”

I screw my face up. No wonder she resents me if that’s how she sees it. But she has a good job, a well-paid job, god knows what’s she’s doing with her salary because Dominic makes sure she doesn’t need to spend a penny on anything.

“So you’re using him as a cash cow?” God she makes me sick.

“He’s happy enough.” She says almost dismissively. “He gets to keep up the pretence of a good marriage which ensure his investors pay out and his business is successful.”

“That’s your definition of happiness is it?”

“Don’t act like he’s the one being wronged here. I cook his meals, I make sure his home is clean, presentable...”

I shake my head. She rarely cooks and we have a cleaner twice a week. She’s delusional if she thinks she contributes anything meaningful to this house.

“…I listen to him when he tells me about his day no matter how boring it is, no matter how much I don’t give a fuck.” She continues.

“He deserves more than that.” I state.

“Does he?” She says.

“Yeah he does. He deserves to be with someone who actually cares for him, who actually loves him, who isn’t just using him. He deserves to be loved too.”

Her eyes dart behind us and I know he’s there even before I turn.

“What’s going on?” He asks so calmly.

“Nothing.” Mum says quickly.

“Eden?”

I shake my head. I don’t think he’s heard enough to know judging by his reaction right now and I sure as hell am not going to tell him.

“I have to go. I’ve got work to finish.” I say not that it’s true but right now I can’t face him, I feel too guilty.

Guilty that my mother is having an affair, guilty that she’s essentially been using him, and guilty about what we’ve been doing too. Afterall are we any better than she is?