Lover (Betrothed 3)

The mattress shifted with his movements before I felt him press his body close to mine. His chest was up against my back, and his arm hooked around my waist. His mouth rested against the back of my neck, caught in a curtain of hair. His fingertips squeezed me lightly through my t-shirt, rubbing me in the darkness.

It was the first time we were close under the sheets. He used to be too injured for closeness, but now his superficial ailments had healed. His deep breaths blanketed my skin, his warm breath hot against my skin.

I didn’t hate the touch, but I didn’t like it either.

Maybe my mother was right. Maybe it bothered me more than I realized.

The actual abuse I’d suffered didn’t change me. It was the way I felt afterward, the way I feared people would see me. My mother looked at me like I was damaged beyond repair, and I didn’t see Hades regard me with lust like he used to. He was afraid I thought he was weak. But I was afraid that he didn’t feel the same way about me…that everything had changed.

That when he looked at me…all he saw was him.

Part of me wanted to start over, to be around someone who had no idea what had happened to me. It seemed like everyone’s perception of my character had changed. That instead of being a survivor, I was a victim. I was tarnished, dirty, and irreparable.

When I projected my worst fears onto Hades, I didn’t want to be near him.

Maybe he didn’t want me at physical therapy because he felt differently toward me.

Maybe he’d only saved me because he felt obligated.

Maybe now he resented me for all the pain he had to carry.

I kept my eyes on the wall and gently pulled his hand off my waist. “I’m really hot right now…”

Hades stilled at my request, his entire body going rigid, but he didn’t pressure me. He shifted his body away and returned to his side of the bed. This time, he turned on his side and faced the other way.

Now, we were even more distant than before.

13

Hades

I was in better shape after several sessions of physical therapy. Now I made my way around the house, taking my time up and down the stairs, but finally mobile. When I stopped by the kitchen to talk to Helena, I ran into Maria.

Initially, she’d adored me because I was a good husband for her daughter. She’d never actually cared about me, only about what I could do for her family. She practically kissed my ass like a suck-up. But now she looked at me like she genuinely cared about my well-being. “Hades, you look so good.” She moved into me, very delicately, and embraced me with a gentle hug. “I’m so happy to see you moving around again.”

Maybe she actually did give a damn about me. “Thank you.”

“Sofia has been taking good care of you?”

She shouldn’t have to. None of this should’ve happened in the first place. “Yes.”

“She’s been so worried about you. I’m glad this is almost over.”

Maybe my injuries had almost healed, but my marriage was destroyed. I’d wanted my wife to fall in love with me, but now I believed that wasn’t possible. I thought I’d broken the curse when I earned my brother’s forgiveness, but now I wondered if that did nothing at all. Sofia and I were further apart than we’d ever been before. When I tried to hold her last night, she didn’t want me to touch her. It hurt…it hurt bad. Maria stared at me like she expected me to say something, so I replied, “Yeah…we’re getting there.” I turned away from my mother-in-law and walked off.

Maria’s voice erupted behind me. “Hades?”

I turned back around.

She came close to me, her arms over her chest with her gaze on the floor. “This is hard to say…but I’m worried about my daughter.”

My heart started to beat a little harder.

“She won’t talk to me about what happened. I can’t get a word out of her.”

The subject hit me in the chest like a wrecking ball.

Maria kept staring at me. “I know she won’t see a therapist either.”

The event hung over our heads like a dark cloud. It was something we all talked around, but no one mentioned specifics. We were all too disturbed to discuss it. “She hasn’t mentioned it to me either.” But I also never asked. I was too much of a coward to bear the burden of her story. I couldn’t stand the thought of picturing what happened, of knowing exactly what he did to her.

“I think you’re the only person who can talk to her. I know my daughter. She’s carrying this weight inside because she thinks she can handle it on her own. But this isn’t something that’s just going to go away if we ignore it. Please talk to her, Hades.”