Her Frozen Cry (Detective Amanda Steele)

“If the accident never happened,” Sam said, “and things didn’t play out the way they had, who knows if we’d have learned about this before it was too late to say goodbye.”

A blessing amid the darkness but still hard to swallow. Amanda had nothing to say in response but patted his arm.

Amanda turned her gaze to Paul and his wife. She was a pleasant woman Amanda had met a couple of times. She was wearing a hoodie, and when Amanda hugged her, she noticed a gold pin on the sweater with the letters MWHC on it. The same one that Brad Slater’s girlfriend, Rachel Sharp, had on her coat.

“Amanda.” It was Ida’s small voice behind her. “The doctor will be letting us know in a minute or two about visiting Scott.”

“I’d love to see him.” Her voice traveled back to her ears, sounding like it was coming from a distant place.

“I know.” Ida threw her arms around Amanda and wept.

Before Amanda could get around to asking Paul’s wife about the pin, the doctor returned. He said that people could visit with Scott Malone but only if they limited it to two people at a time.

“Go,” Ida told her.

“Are you sure?”

“I am, and I know you need to get back to work.”

“I promise I’ll be fast.”

“Nonsense. Take your time.”

Amanda tried to squeeze the word time out of her mind. It wasn’t anyone’s friend. It only took with no promises or guarantees. “Thank you.” She followed the doctor and drew in a deep breath before entering the room. The doctor carried on down the hallway.

She could barely get her legs to move; it felt like they were cemented to the floor. How could she even bring herself to face the man who had mentored her, who helped make her the detective she was today? Yes, she had grown up with her father as a role model, the strong and proud policeman who had climbed the ranks to police chief. But Malone held a special, sacred place in her heart too.

“You going to come in or shadow the doorway?”

She swallowed back her tears and entered. He appeared so pale and small on the bed. She just couldn’t get herself to move.

“I know… this isn’t the news we wanted to hear, is it?” he said.

“Not at all.” She bit down on her bottom lip and shook her head. Warm tears splashed her cheeks. “But we’ll find a doctor who will fix you up.”

“Come here.” He waved for her to approach. “There’s nothing to be afraid of. I won’t bite.”

She smiled and found the strength and resolve to move. When she reached his bedside, she draped herself over him and wrapped him in a hug. She kissed him on the forehead and the cheeks, then put her hand on his face and beard and peered into his eyes. “I’m so sorry.” She dropped her head to his chest and cried while Malone swept a hand over her hair. They stayed like that for several minutes; she felt unable to move. It was like the loss she’d experienced of her husband and daughter came rushing back. She’d barely survived that heartbreak, and now here she would likely be facing an enormous loss again—if they couldn’t get someone willing to operate. And she wasn’t exactly a cup halffull type of person.

She pulled back. “I’ve never told you this, but I love you.” This triggered another crying jag, which Malone patiently waited out. She’d gone in there intending to be strong, but that became nothing more than a hopeful wish from the moment she hit the doorway and had seen him.

Malone’s eyes were full of tears too. “I love you too, kid.”

“You always have my back,” she said, repeating what he often told her.

“No matter what side of the grass I’m on.”

She hated to hear him talking so lightly of death. “Don’t give up on us. We’ll find someone.”

He took her hand. “There’s the chance we won’t.” His face went sour, then he waved a hand. “All right, we need to cut that out. All the negativity, Ida would have my hide.” Malone smiled at her, his lips lifting lazily. “But enough about me. Tell me you’ve caught that killer you’re after.”

She palmed her cheeks. Sinking herself into work was the easy part. “We have two suspects in custody.”

“Two? You never do anything the easy way.”

She nudged his shoulder. “I just follow the evidence.”

“One of your suspects the husband?”

She nodded.

“Must have been tough bringing in an old friend.”

“Wasn’t the easiest, but I assumed the responsibility to uphold the law when I donned the badge.”

“That’s my girl.” Malone smiled at her, but the expression quickly faded.

She probably shouldn’t keep him long and give the others a chance to see him. “Just hang in there, okay? You’re a tough old goat.”

“A tough… goat?” He laughed, and it turned into a slight rattle in his chest. He coughed but held up a hand to let her know he was fine.

“It’s the truth.” Amanda smiled and patted him on the arm and was going to leave, but she was drawn back. She kissed him again on the forehead. “I’ll be back to visit soon.”

“Do your job, Detective. Close the investigation and get those women justice.”

“You got it, Sarge.” Amanda left the room with one quick glance back. As much as her legs hadn’t wanted to take her to Malone at first, now they didn’t want to carry her away from him.

She stepped into the hall. She leaned against the wall to the side of the doorway, burying her face in her hands. Next thing she knew she was being pulled into a warm, strong embrace. Trent. She let it happen. She stayed in his arms and let him hold her as she cried against his shoulder. He was there to support her and comfort her, not judge. He was exactly what she needed in this moment.