The Personal Shopper

I roll my eyes and laugh at her. “Cougar much?”

“Hey! Just because I may be older than you, I am still a woman. I can appreciate the male body and all its forms. Just so happens his is a very, very good form.”

I laugh and look over to where Jeff was heading. He has filled out quite nicely. He has always been attractive, but he no longer looks like the little boy I’ve known for so many years.

His blonde hair has darkened a little. His shoudlers have broadened. His jaw is even more chizzled. Those cute little dimples he had when he smiled are now a ladykiller.

It doesn’t matter though. No matter how hard I try to feel something for Jeff, it just never happens. It might have something to do with me giving my heart away to another man. Another man who would never think about me that way.

Parker. Technically, Theadore Parker Jr. after his dad, but everyone just calls him Parker.

I first developed a crush on Parker when I was thirteen when he started showing up at my family’s events and parties. He is best friends with my uncle Doug. My uncle Doug met Parker when he volunteered to be a mentor for the incoming freshman at his university. Parker’s parents had just died the summer before he started college, and Doug became like a second family to him.

When Doug finished college, they still remained friends even though he was four years older than Parker, and that is when he started showing up around the house more.

As a thirteen year old eighth grader, Parker was the hottest guy I had ever seen. Well, not counting all the guys on the posters hanging in my room. Parker was real though.

He would tease me about Jeff, which would always make me blush, and he’d throw me into the pool when we had family dinner’s at my house. I didn’t stand a chance in not crushing hard on him. What girl wouldn’t?

As I got older and started hanging out with other boys in highschool, I realized I was just a dumb kid with a silly crush, but that didn’t stop it from coming back every time I saw him. I tried to date other guys, but somehow I’d always compare them to Parker.

Unfortunately, he just saw me as a spoiled little girl. His best friend’s little niece. He would never look at me the way I wanted him to. And sure maybe I was a spoiled little brat, but that’s not exactly my fault.

My parents were richer than I ever understood growing up. I thought all kids had the same things and lifestyle as me. I mean I never had to have a job or anything growing up, but I worked hard at school and got good grades. It’s not my fault I was spoiled. What was I supposed to do, reject the gifts from my parents? Yeah, I don’t think so.

I thought I was in love with Parker when I was thirteen, but it wasn’t until the day of my mom’s funeral that I really, truly fell in love with him, and I haven’t been able to stop it since that day.

We found out my mom was sick when I was ten years old. She would go through patches of time where she was perfectly healthy, but it always came back. My mom was my rock. She never felt sorry for herself and always pushed herself to be able to participate in everything even when it was during one of her bad times.

My dad helped get us through i

t too. He always had a positive outlook, and even though he works a lot, he would always take time to spend with the family. He still does. My mom would never let him miss a Sunday dinner with the whole family.

If I didn’t have my dad, I don’t think I would have survived when my mom died. Even though we all kind of knew it was coming because she had gotten worse that time than ever before, it still knocked me off my feet. I had just turned 16 when she was admitted into the hospital for an extended stay, but after a while and no improvement in sight, she told my dad she wanted to spend the rest of the time at home with her family. She was with us for a month more at home, and then she died in her sleep.

The days after she passed, I was in shock. I didn’t process what had happened. I didn’t even cry. The day her funeral came around all I kept thinking was I need these people to stop hugging me and looking at me with sad eyes. I needed to get away.

The second I had a free moment, I ran out of the main room and down an empty hall at the church. All I remember was I was having a hard time catching my breath and was clenching my hands at my sides. I kept opening and closing my eyes shut like maybe I would wake up and this would all be a dream.

I didn’t even hear Parker approach me when his arms came and wrapped tightly around me.

“Hey, everything is going to be okay.” He whispered into my ear. I tried to push at him and screamed out. “No! Let me go! Let me go!” I continue to pound against his chest.

Parker just held me tighter and continued to try to calm me down. Suddenly, it was like everything hit me at once, and I couldn’t stop the tears from coming. Parker just continued to hold me while I sobbed for who knows how long.

When I finally calmed down a little, I looked up at Parker, and he smiled back at me and ran his hand down the side of my face. I gave him a small smile back to thank him for staying with me and for letting me get his dress shirt covered in mascara and snot.

“Hey, there’s my beautiful Ava smile.” He whispered and touched me lightly on the chin.

It made my half smile grow into a real one, but it only lasted a moment. I looked back down at my feet and tried not to cry some more.

Parker lifted my chin back up. “You know when I last talked to your mom when I was over the last time, she asked me to make sure that you never lost your smile no matter what happens. She said she doesn’t care what you end up doing or how you look or dress as long as you continue to smile even through pain and even without her here.”

I couldn’t help it. I burst into more tears. That’s exactly what my mom would always tell me. She said a girl could have the prettiest face and the best body, but unless she had a smile on her face, she could never truly be beautiful.

It felt like my mom was back with me for a few minutes to let me know everything was going to be okay, and I fell into Parker’s arms again. I never felt safer. This was the moment I truly fell for him all the way.

The intimate moment did not last long though. Suddenly, we heard a woman’s voice. “Teddy! There you are. I”ve been looking all over for you.”