Force (The Disciples 5)

“You got that IUD at eighteen. It’s over ten years old. Your gyno wanted to put a new one in two years ago. Now, go pee on the stick. I’m already feeling guilty we got drunk the other day, along with what went down yesterday… and now you’re yelling at me, and you never yell.”

I’m stunned, floored, really, because yes, my gynecologist has wanted to take it out and said it was old, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t work.

“Oh, thank God, yeah, I have the progesterone one.” Eve looks at Gia. “Jesus, that scared me for a second. Two kids are enough, especially right now.” She closes her eyes as if the thought is too much.

“Go test.”

“You test,” I snap right back at Gia.

“Julianna?” She looks at me, horrified, and suddenly I want to burst into tears. This can’t be happening.

Not now.

“Wait. Is this why you both came here?” My head pounds.

“I came because I’m your best friend, and I was worried about you. And someone needs to say what we all are thinking.” Her eyes fill with tears.

“Gia, stop for a second.” Eve holds her hand up to silence her. “Gia came because she loves you. I came because what happened yesterday should never have happened. It was horrendous. I owe you my life.” She looks at me and I see why everyone loves her. She is the voice of calm and reason, wise beyond her years, considering I’m pretty sure Gia and I are older.

“Now, that being said, if you are knocked up, the sooner you find out, the better.”

“Fine.” I take a breath and look at Gia. “Come here.” I hug her. “I’m sorry. I’m on edge. That doesn’t mean I have to take it out on you though.” I pull back and hold my hand out for the test.

She drops it into my hand and I rip it open and head to the bathroom. And same as before, I can hear them whispering. Why do they think I can’t hear them?

“She definitely has resentment that I was late, Eve.”

I bite my tongue not to remind them I’m right here, but to be honest, I’m clearly more shaken up than I thought. Was it the right thing to do?

It was the only thing to do.

I take a breath and pee on the stick. While I wait, my mind flashes to the Magic 8-Ball. You ask it a question and wait as that black-green ink seems to take forever before the triangle inside the ball replies with your fate. I roll my neck, then look down as two pink lines instantly appear.

Two lines.

Is two good or bad? I grab the box. Reading the instructions might have been useful

“Well?” Gia yells.

“I’m looking on the box.”

“Two lines is pregnant. One is not.” Eve walks in and takes the stick from me. She sighs, puts it down, and washes her hands, saying nothing. I guess I’ve rendered her speechless, which is saying something, because the more I get to know Eve, the more I know she always has something to say.

“I’ll get Amy to get everything ready, and we can eat a healthy breakfast and relax. Don’t worry. I have the best OB-GYN,” Eve assures me as she walks out to look at Gia. I follow like a zombie.

Pregnant?

“Oh my God.” Gia covers her mouth with her hand, not even trying to hide her horror as she stares at me like she’s a disapproving parent.

And that’s it. My stomach, which has been iffy for days, finally wins. Running into the bathroom, I heave out everything that’s been holding me back. My parents, money, divorce, fear. All of it comes out as I gag and puke up all my issues. Good or bad, my life seems to be on warp speed, and I need to take control or it’ll pull me under.

“What’s rule number one?”

“Shoot to kill.”

Ryder’s voice rings in my head. He believes in me, always has. He was the one to strip away my insecurities and accept me for who I am.

Because he loves me.

He loved me even back then. He thinks he’s cursed and not worthy.

He’s wrong.

Straightening, I take a breath and walk to the sink. I toss the pee stick in the garbage, wash my hands, and brush my teeth.

It’s happened.

I’m pregnant.

I look in the mirror and see everything they were saying earlier. I am glowing, and instead of the horror they seem to be experiencing, there’s a warmth in my stomach and heart.

Am I shocked? Yes.

Am I unhappy…?

I lean closer to the mirror and really look at myself. In the last two months everything in my life has changed. I’ve changed. And I like the person who stares back at me.

I’m not the naïve girl, spying on Ryder and letting the world walk over her. I’ve found my way, and even if others don’t like it, I don’t care. I’m done trying to please the masses; instead, I’m going to please myself.