I is for Ian

A murmur of acknowledgment followed, and they began to disperse to their jobs.

Carl met my gaze across the room and nodded, offering an empathetic smile. I tried to return it but didn’t feel like I had a lot of smiling in me.

I was about half-sure, maybe more, that I was going to be replaced when the work started again. Not only that, but my rapid ascent was likely stalled, and the idea that I might be in charge of the big expansion and secondary projects in Five Corners was also likely off the table now. The whole future I had been aiming for was now vaporized, all because Ben screwed up with the generators.

And I was the one to blame for it.

At the end of the day, I was in charge.

I went about collecting some of the paperwork and other things that I knew would be needed to hand over to whoever would take over after me when I glanced out of the window. Several ambulances were lined up, lights on, and people were filing into them.

A man in a gurney was wheeled out to one of the ambulances, and it struck me how important the drive was for him. How colossal a fuckup all this was by us for him. Ben screwing up had literally risked that man’s life. He could die because of what had happened. I could say it was an accident all day long and an oversight on my part to trust Ben at his job, but if that man didn’t make it on his ride to another hospital or clinic, that would be on me. Whether I was blamed for it or not, I would feel that guilt. Forever.

It was a mess. A giant, colossal mess. Everything that could have gone wrong in the shortest amount of time seemingly had. And what was worse, Bryant wasn’t there to help me through it. I knew if I called him, he would try to get down there to help, but it was no use. I was on my own and I was carrying the entire responsibility for the job.

I had wanted that. I wanted the responsibility. I wanted the glory of the job being done because I knew I was good at it. But now I was going to have to deal with what happened when things went wrong.

It wasn’t nearly as much fun.

11

MINA

Not too long ago I would have thought it would be fun to watch the construction guy get put in his place. He had so much of an attitude and obviously wasn’t used to other people being in charge. If it was any other circumstances, it probably would have been at least a little bit enjoyable to watch the interaction with Dr. Sutton. I might have felt bad about it later, but that was a problem for the hypothetical version of myself who got to feel smug about him having to take the blame for something going wrong with the construction project.

I didn’t get that luxury. Dr. Sutton’s evaluation of the hospital’s storm response and preparedness wasn’t inaccurate. This was a freaking nightmare. That nightmare, however, wasn’t actually the construction guy’s fault. The electrician had made a series of bad decisions and stupid mistakes.

“Dr. Davis.”

I looked toward the sound of the voice and saw Jo coming toward me. With decades of experience at the hospital behind her, she could probably care for a lot of the patients better than some of the doctors around. There were things that even the best education couldn’t teach you. They came from actually being there and seeing the situations unfold, and that was the kind of skill this woman had.

She was one of the nurses I would have rather had just called me Mina, and I had told her on several occasions that she could. Her old-school style wouldn’t allow it, though. She preferred a white dress, tights, and orthopedic shoes to scrubs, never appeared at the hospital without her lipstick on, and would not refer to any doctor by anything but their title and last name.

“Hi, Jo,” I said. “How is everything going?”

“About as well as it’s expected to considering the circumstances,” she said. “I just wish the generator had worked properly.”

“I think we all wish that, Jo,” I said. “It certainly would have made this whole experience a lot easier on all of us. Especially the patients.”

“Yes. I do feel bad for poor Ian, though. I heard him talking to his crew, and he sounded so upset having to shut down the work they were doing. Dr. Sutton really was hard on him.”

I fell into step beside her as she led me to the nearest patient. Around me, people were rushing around, doing everything they could to try to get the patients out and the building prepared for the storm. The door to the stairwell ahead opened, and I watched Ian walk out, quickly followed by a couple of the other men from the crew. They were carrying materials, and I had a flicker of feeling bad for him.