I is for Ian

She would arch her back toward me and look over her shoulder to stare at me in the eyes. I would fuck her with everything I had, driving my cock deeply in her pussy and bringing myself to the edge of ecstasy. I could feel it coming and knew I wouldn’t last long.

Standing under the water, my hand on the wall, I gripped my cock tight as I let the fantasy come to its conclusion. I was going to come.

In the vision, she pulled away from me, dropping to her knees and taking me into her mouth again. The ecstasy of her mouth wrapped around my throbbing cock, her tongue sliding underneath the head, was too much, and I would come down her throat. She would moan as she stroked me, sucking me until I was empty and crumpling above her, my hulking body breathing heavily over her small, delicate frame. She would stroke me and squeeze my balls until I was empty and then pull away, smiling up at me proudly.

I had come in the stream of the shower and was now crumpling to the ground. Water battered my body as I weakly went down to my knees, and I let myself recover for a moment before shutting the water off.

I felt guilty for doing that, but I couldn’t help myself. It had been so long since I was with a woman, and something about that infuriating Mina drove me mad with lust. Seeing her like I had only tipped the scales of fantasy from something I could ignore to something I no longer could.

I got dressed and headed back into the bedroom, glad I kept my hair short so it dried so quickly. The sweatpants-and-T-shirt combo was comfortable and soft, and as I crawled into the bed and pulled up the covers, I felt my body finally relaxing now that it was spent fully. As my head hit the pillow, I thought about how close she was on the other side of the wall.

I wondered if she dreamed the same kinds of things I did.

And I slept.

At some point in the middle of the night, I thought I heard my phone ringing, but when I reached for it, I couldn’t find it and gave up. Whoever it was could wait.

19

MINA

The cot was comfier than I anticipated. Either that or I was just extremely tired and didn’t realize how much it had affected me. Either way, when I first gained consciousness again after lying down and drifting off, I tried to fight it and go back to sleep. I was warm, the heaviness of three blankets over me and the lack of a window in the room meant the only light was the soft blue one.

I was still so tired, and I didn’t want to move. But something was scratching at the edge of my memory, itching at the base of my brain and screaming to be paid attention to. It was something about last night.

The first thought that came to my mind, springing up like a nightmare about wetting yourself in elementary school, was all too real. It was the image of Ian, the construction guy, standing in the doorway of the doctors’ mess hall, white light behind him as the shadows contorted his features. Only his eyes were really visible, and they were wide. And while they weren’t leering, they were certainly taking in every last bit of the scenery.

That scenery happened to be my body in white cotton panties and a plain white bra that I had worn because it was the softest and most comfortable one I had available. He had not only seen me in those clothes, standing in the middle of the room otherwise naked, but he had stared. I had even been bent over my bag with my ass facing him when he first opened that door. He had gotten as good a look as anyone had in a very, very long time.

And I wasn’t exactly sure how I felt about it.

But that wasn’t it. It was something else. Something that happened after I went to sleep. Something that seemed important, but I just couldn’t quite put my finger on.

Then it dawned on me. Someone had tried to wake me up. They had shaken me and said something, but I couldn’t remember what it was. They were asking me something, and I remembered telling them no out of confusion, and then they had left me alone. I had gone back to sleep and not moved in the time that passed.

I hated not remembering things like that. It drove me mad to think I would have agreed or disagreed with something without remembering it. Especially in a hospital where patients might have had questions and a nurse could have come to me for an answer. I just hoped my autopilot had been able to answer correctly to whatever it was.