Taking Care Of The Mobster

“We’ll take this,” Beth says, signaling to the assistant attending to us. The woman smiles and nods promptly before going to process the order while I get dressed.

“You’re impossible,” I say with a laugh. I lower myself on the waiting couch opposite Beth. “Thank you for meeting me all the way out here.” I’m actually glad I called her. I doubt I would have been able to choose the right dress without overthinking and mentally stressing myself out.

“Oh, it’s not a biggie,” Beth says with a dismissive wave of her hand. “I needed a change in scenery, anyway.

“How’s Mom doing?” I ask, feeling bad that I just got around to asking.

“She’s never been better,” Beth replies, a fond smile playing on her lips. “The doctors say she should be able to go home soon.”

“I’m glad to hear that,” I say with a relieved smile. It’s good to know that mom will be able to live without that pain she’s had for so long. I have Carlos to thank for that and so much more.

“You seem really different, sis,” Beth says, smiling gently at me. “In a good way, too. You seem happier. I guess love has brought out the better version of you.”

“Love?” I repeat with a humorless laugh. “I don’t know....”

“What do you mean?” Beth asks, her voice laced with concern. I don’t know how to reply to her question because I can’t even rationalize my feelings to myself. But if there’s anyone that can help me make sense of these tangled emotions I feel, it’s Beth.

“Abby?” Beth prompts, breaking the pensive silence that’d settled between us. “Talk to me, sis.”

“It’s just...” I say, shrugging helplessly. “I...I don’t know....” I trail off in a frustrated sigh, throwing my hands up in defeat.

“You don’t love him?” Beth asks, her brows pulling up in a confused frown.

“I do,” I answer immediately. “God, I love him so much it’s hard to breathe sometimes.”

“So, what’s the problem?”

I bite my lower lip pensively, thinking up the words to explain my feelings. “It’s just...I don’t know if he loves me. I mean, there’s no indication that he doesn’t. But there’s also no indication that he does. He hasn’t said anything. I’m just so confused. Or maybe it’s my insecurities talking. It just feels like all of this is a dream, and one day I’ll be forced to wake up and face my reality. You know... reality, before Carlos, was dreary. All I had were insecurities and low self-esteem. He helps me see the best of me. With him, I can be myself. I just don’t want to wake up one day to find him gone, you know? He likes my curves, but what if he decides they’re too much or not enough one day. What if I’m not beautiful enough. What if....”

“Hey, sis,” Beth says, gently cutting off my rant. “Take it easy on yourself. Have you told him how you feel about him?”

“No,” I say, shaking my head. “I...I can’t.”

“Why not?” Beth asks, probing me further with a pointed look.

“I’m scared,” I reply with a helpless shrug. You’re pathetic, a voice sneers. “I’m scared of being rejected.”

“Exactly,” Beth exclaims gently. “But what if he feels the same way? What if he’s hesitating because he’s afraid you might not feel the same. Even love is a risk, sis. You just have to follow your heart to the end.” She gestures to the pendant nestled just beneath my collar bone. “That necklace. He gave it to you?”

I raise a hand to my chest, stroking the pendant with a dopey smile. “Yes, isn’t it beautiful?”

“It is,” Beth says, her smile widening slowly. “It speaks volumes, too.”

I shake my head, slightly confused. “What do you mean?”

“It’s a heart-shaped pendant,” Beth says as if I’m supposed to make sense of that. She must notice my confusion because she laughs and shakes her head at me. “Don’t you get it, Abby? A man gifts you a necklace with a heart-shaped pendant dripping in diamonds. How loudly do you want him to speak?”

Slowly, the implications of her words begin to take root in my head. My heart starts an awkward tango in my chest. I swallow down hard, sitting forward in my chair. “Does that mean...? Are you saying that Carlos might love me? Do you think this is his way of expressing his love?”

Beth laughs at my growing excitement. “Give it time, sis,” she says to me. “Let things play out.”

Everything makes more sense now. As usual, Beth is the one to help me find clarity. I don’t know what I would do without her. “Thank you, Beth,” I say with a genuine smile.

“You know I’ve got you always,” Beth replies with a smile. “I love you, sissy.” She opens her arms wide, and I walk into her comforting embrace.

“I love you too,” I reply, grinning from ear to ear. At least I’ll always have Beth in my corner. Even if the world turns its back on me, my sister’s love is sure.