Perfect Tenn

“Why the fuck would you set me up with a guy with yellow teeth? Yellow fucking teeth, Tenn,” I yell, trying to get to him from around the coffee table.

He starts laughing and hold his hands out in defense. “Okay, okay. That was shitty of me. I’m sorry,” he says around a laugh.

“I’m glad you think it’s funny, because I sure as fuck don’t. I came to you for help, and you took advantage of it. That’s fucked up.” I plop down on the couch.

He cautiously walks over and looks at the couch. “Is it safe?” I nod, letting him know I’m not going to kill him, and he sits down. “I’m sorry, Regan. I don’t know why I did that. I guess I thought it would be funny.”

I look at him out of the corner of my eyes, and he is just looking straight ahead. “Funny is putting the salt in the sugar container. This was mean, Tenn!”

He moves closer and nudges me with his shoulder. “I’m sorry.”

I lay my head on his shoulder, blowing out a breath. “No more set ups. I’ll find my own disasters.”

“Deal.” He rests his hand on my knee. “I didn’t think you’d be so upset about it. Now I feel like shit.”

“Good, you should.”

We sit in silence for a while, just watching TV with my head on his shoulder. This is until his cell phone rings.

“Hey, Scott. What’s up?”

He looks down at me and lifts an eyebrow. I sit up straight and nod, knowing what he’s asking behind that look without hearing his words. “Sure, I’ll meet you there in twenty minutes.” He hangs up and turns to look at me.

“You sure you won’t be more pissed if I go out?”

I lightly laugh, shaking my head. “Go, I’ve got a night of ice cream and sappy movies ahead of me. It’s best if you’re not here for it.”

He kisses my cheek and goes off to his room. I do the same, changing into my sweats and pulling my straight hair up into a high ponytail. I go into the bathroom and wash my makeup off, and by the time I’m done, he’s gone. Getting the ice cream out of the freezer I grab a spoon and take the entire tub into the living room. I guess that’s one good thing to being single, I don’t need to pretend to be something I’m not.

It’s been a few weeks since Tenn set me up with lemon teeth, and slowly we are sinking back into our routine. The only difference is he hasn’t been bringing his conquests home. He actually has a date tonight. Like dinner and movie kind of date, not just sex.

I pull up to the diner and get out, heading inside to meet Holly and Jennifer.

“Hey guys, sorry I’m late. I had to help Tenn pick out a damn shirt,” I say, sliding into the booth and grabbing a menu.

“Was that after you pulled off the one he was wearing and had your way with him?” Holly asks around the straw in her mouth.

I laugh and kick her under the table. “No, asshole. I was helping him so he didn’t look like a slob on his date tonight.” My stomach twists, and I take a slow breath. I don’t know why it’s bothering me so much, but ever since he told me he was going out on a date I’ve been pissy. That I could take, but I’m also jealous which is ridiculous, but I want him to take me out on a date. What the fuck is wrong with me?

“So listen, I thought since you were looking to be set-up that I’d set you up with my brother. He just moved back here and could use a little fun,” Jennifer says, blowing her blonde hair out of her eyes.

“What, I’m some kind of charity case now? Everyone wants to set me up? I have a date with that guy Tony that Susan from work set me up with. I have a date with some other guy that Linda set me up with and now your brother. What did you all do, sit down at work and have a fucking meeting?” I know I should be grateful they all want to help, but I’m annoyed with Tenn going out still.

The waitress takes our order then once she’s made her way toward the kitchen, Holly reaches across and holds my hand, giving me a sad smile. You’ve got to be kidding me. What is this, an after school special? “Sweetie, we just thought you deserved to be setup with someone who didn’t have yellow teeth.”

I know she’s being serious, but I burst out laughing. She yanks her hand away and folds her arms over her chest. “Shit I’m sorry. It’s just funny about the yellow teeth. I appreciate you guys all wanting to help. Hell, it can’t hurt. So yes, Jennifer, hook me up with your brother,” I say, still lightly laughing.

The conversation turns to work and we talk about all the shit the kids have put us through this week. I’m so glad it’s Friday and after this we are going to get our drink on. Those kids definitely drive me to drink. My mind drifts to Tenn, and I wonder how his date is going. It’s fucked up that part of me hopes it’s as shitty as my last two were.

“Regan, did you hear me?” Jennifer asks.

“Shit, no what?”

“I said, I think Philp is going to ask me to marry him,?

? she squeals, bouncing in her seat.

“Wow, that’s so exciting. I’m so happy for you. Please don’t ask me to be in your wedding if I have to wear something with puffy sleeves,” I say before taking the last bite of my burger.