Trek

Heidi

I stand in front of the mirror, looking at myself. Insecure about what I see. Unsure of who I am. I don’t know me anymore. I don’t know anything about me.

“What do you see?” Trek asks as he enters the room.

“I don’t know anymore.”

“You wanna know what I see?” he asks, and I nod my head. “I see a beautiful woman who was handed a shitty deck of cards. I see a story yet to be written. I see somethin’ that other’s might not survive, but you are. You’re winnin’, Heidi.”

“Am I? By using you? How does that make sense, Trek?”

“You’re copin’ the best way you can. I see you gettin’ stronger every day. Bein’ less of a shadow than you were the day before.”

“Then why can’t I see that?” I ask him. Because I don’t see that. I don’t see a stronger person. I feel weak, useless.

“You ain’t lookin’ hard enough. It takes time, darlin’. Drake has dealt with girls like you for a long time, and each time we see them, they are broken. Some are unfixable. You’re not one of them. You’re stronger than you think you are. You’re here, right?”

“Taking advantage of you. How is that strong?” He licks his lips and steps closer to me, resting his hands on my shoulder. There’s a burn, a fire in his eyes that I love looking at. It’s one I’ve never seen in a man before.

“You need an outlet, darlin’. I’m just that, your outlet. If I can see you smile for just a minute, then it’s all worth it,” he tells me. My heart beats a little faster in my chest at his words.

“Thank you isn’t enough,” I tell him.

“I don’t need a thank you. I don’t need anything but what we’re doin’ right now. I’m watchin’ you come out of the shell they kept you in, Heidi. That’s good enough for me.” A small smile tugs across my face at his words.

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. Now you wanna come and eat somethin’ with me?” I nod my head as he smiles and lowers his hands. I wish he’d keep them there. I wish he’d hold me forever, but that’s just a dream. He’s doing this to help me, that doesn’t mean he likes me.

I follow Trek out of the room and down the hall into the main room. A few guys are talking or arguing in one corner while the girls sit in another. Trek leads me over to the bar where there’s food set out and grabs us some plates.

“Eat,” he says, nodding toward the food. I scoop some onto my plate and follow him to another table where we both sit.

“Who cooks here?”

“The girls do. Why?”

“I was just thinking that maybe I could help.”

“You don’t have to do that.”

“I want to do that. I want to do something to help around here, Trek,” I tell him. He nods his head.

“Okay. You can do whatever you want. Work the bar, cook. It’s up to you.”

“Thank you.”

“Stop thankin’ me. This is all for you, Heidi.” My smile comes back brighter than last time. I can’t believe they are letting me stay here to recover and helping me along as I learn how to live again. I never thought it would be this easy. I always dreamt of getting away from them, but I didn’t see falling back into Trek.

“You doin’ alright?” I look over and up at Drake as he pulls out a chair and sits down next to me.

“I’m good. You guys are great,” I tell him. I watch the way he grins like he knows something I don’t.

“I don’t know about that.”

“I do. You’ve helped me so much,” I admit.

“We ain’t done either. We’re hittin’ that house, and whatever girls we find are comin’ back here. You ready for that?” he asks.

“Why are they coming here?”

“We can help them. I’ve dealt with this shit before,” Drake replies.

“With the girls?”

“Yeah. Shitty situation, but we can get the girls stable again. I’m settin’ up the basement for them,” he tells me.

“Why are you guys doing this?”

“Why wouldn’t we? It’s in our backyard, and we help our people.” I nod my head in understanding. As I bring the fork full of food to my mouth, something happens. Glass shatters, and girls scream. I glance around to see the girls hitting the floor and the guys jumping to their feet. Trek moves, shoving me off the chair and onto the floor before he pulls his gun and heads toward the door with Drake. I watch, stunned by what’s happening as the guys all rush the front door. More shots are fired as I stay lying on the floor. I look over and see Evie with her daughter and Rage’s little girl curled up under her. Then I look the other way and see Cheryl shaking and crying. I scoot across the floor, careful of the broken glass, and pull her into me.

“It’s okay,” I tell her, trying to reassure her. She trembles, and I don’t know what to do to help her, so I hold her. I hold her against me. The guys are Storming back in a few minutes later, and Demon rips Cheryl from my arms and pulls her into his. I watch as the others do much the same, checking everyone to ensure they’re okay. As I start to stand, Trek is jerking me to my feet.

“Are you okay? You’re not hurt?” he asks, eyes running all over me. Heat coils inside of me from the way he’s looking at me. I shake my head, but words won’t form. Does he really care?

“Everyone good?” Demon finally calls out.

“Yeah, Prez. All good,” Badger answers as he lifts his little girl into his arms. I watch as he and Rage both hug her, kissing her cheeks before glancing back at Evie and Drake. They are doing much the same with their little girl. Then Trek shocks me. He grabs my face in his hand and forces me to look at him before he kisses me hard. I wasn’t ready for that. I wasn’t expecting that, but damn, does it feel good.

“What was that?” I ask when he finally pulls away.

“We don’t know yet. Another club, maybe.”

“What? Why?”

“We have rivals, Heidi. We aren’t always the good guys here,” he says, and it all makes sense. I didn’t think they were the good guys. I didn’t think they were into legal things either. I’m not that stupid.

“What happens now?”

“We clean up and repair the damage while the guys check into things,” he tells me. I nod my head and pull away from him, walking to the closet and pulling out a broom. I start to sweep up the glass as Trek watches me strangely. I can’t place the look on his face, so I don’t even try. I continue to clean up the mess.

“You don’t have to do that,” Rage tells me as he walks past.

“I don’t mind,” I reply. He nods his head and walks away before I see the club girls grabbing brooms and things. They start to clean up too, and it makes me wonder. Do they look at me as one of them? Is that what they see in me? Shaking the thoughts away, I continue sweeping the glass into a pile.

It doesn’t take long before Trek is ripping the broom from my hand and scooping the glass up for me. I watch as he throws it away before setting the broom against the wall.

“Get me a beer?” he asks. I nod my head and walk over to the bar, grabbing him a cold beer before walking back over to him. He smiles his thanks and pops the top off, taking a long pull.

“I don’t like you cleanin’,” he tells me.

“I just wanted to help.”

“I know.” He doesn’t elaborate, just looks the other way drinking his beer while I stand in front of him doing nothing.